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In between making krispy treats and costumes for end-of-the-year school programs, and cleaning up puke and doing my usual loads of daily laundry, meal prep and grooming kids, you will find me here- immersed in the latest obsession of my life. Scrapbooking. I have found my new love.In fact, it practically consumes my whole being- body, mind and spirit. If you don't believe me, just ask my nanny, Rachael. Better yet, stop over at her blog and ask her any question you want answered objectively about real life Nitty.Gritty. She hasn't updated in awhile and maybe all of you leaving comments asking about me would be just what she needs to get back into the game. She's gonna love me for this, I just know it! www.nittygrittysnanny.blogspot.com By the way, I find it flattering that she would do a spin-off blog from me. I've considered doing my own, like notDooce.com.Anyway, back to me =), I've gotten lots of emails and comments about my thoughts and feelings the past few posts and just want everybody out there to be perfectly clear that I have no hard feelings or sad thoughts on what transpired here. My biggest fear is that people misunderstand me or take what I am writing the wrong way. I don't expect everyone to agree with my thoughts and opinions all the time. In fact one of the cool things about blogging is getting to read and think about other people's viewpoints. I appreciate that you all want me to stick around and keep it real, and that is what I fully intend. Remember? This blog isn't actually for anybody, except me...sometimes I just happen to touch on issues or experiences that you can totally or totally not, relate to. As you can see, I am loving my new-found hobby, I am stretching myself and thinking things through and trying to learn how to use stuff around the house to pull pages together. If you haven't a clue what scrapbooking is all about, stick around here, because I am exploring this whole concept in a way I never looked at it before. For me it's not about cutesy pictures and sweet sayings to tie in with them- but instead, it's very similar to what you see and read here. Yep. I call it, {what else?} Nitty.Gritty. Scrapbooking and for me it means capturing my real-life thoughts and pictures on paper with cool embellishments and funky colors and stuff. It's about watching my own stories unfold in front of me. It's about remembering the quirky details or silly dreams I have in life at this very moment. It's about not wanting to forget the details- even if they're not all pretty and perfect. In fact, those are the moments and pictures that I find most scrapworthy.Oh yeah. This hobby is gonna be my downfall, I just know it. It's gonna take me away from being the blogging madwoman I am, to something more intense. Remember when I asked you to go ask my nanny about me and scrapbooking? I wasn't kidding. I have scrap-dreams at night, I see page layout ideas while I'm reading CD covers, I'm saving cans of soda because I like the logos and colors and even imagining what kind of embellishments I could make that look like the little designs on my kids t-shirts. I thought being a fontaholic and making "font pancakes" was obsessive. Just you all wait! Okay. I'll have to admit it- a little bit of this blog is about YOU!
After reading my post from yesterday, an anonymous person left a comment to which I would like to respond to today.Here is the comment left for me:Unfortunately for too many, having a number one fan has not so much to do with the life they are living as with the cards they've been dealt where people in their life are concerned. I know people who have every right and reason to expect Mom or Dad to be their Number One Fan, and yet, one or both is totally disinterested in their lives. But I'm glad your mom appreciates you. You are lucky. Here is what I have to say in response:Yes, I AM lucky. And I realize that and I am thankful for the relationship I have with both of my parents. What makes me sad is for people who get hung up in life or turn bitter towards others or use their poor relationship with their parents (or any other person who lets them down) as an excuse in life. As an excuse for anything. I totally agree that it's not fair that some people grow up with all the love and support in the world. I agree that it's not fair that some people deserve love and care and never get it- no matter how hard they try. I agree with that- but that doesn't give someone the right to be angry, or bitter or violent or selfish or greedy or hurtful or pitiful, or a lot of other less-than-wonderful qualities out there one can choose to be.I say choose- because I fully believe who we are comes from within. While we can be affected by our circumstances, we ultimately choose how to respond to our events and surroundings. For me, I cannot begin to imagine who I would be without knowing God as my personal savior. He is the One who has allowed me to become who I am. He alone, I believe, is the one who can satisfy all the longings of our hearts. He is the only being I know of who will never let you down or disappoint or turn a deaf ear to. He alone is able to change all the past experiences you have into teachable moments, He can use your pain and disappointments for your good and personal growth.I admit, I was lucky when I was born into the family I was raised in; I had no part in choosing my surrounding. But I have made choices all along the path of my life. I am believe that when life hands us brokeness and pain and troubles, that those are opportunities for us to grow as individuals. For me, again, I couldn't imagine getting through some of the events in my life without having the relationship and belief that I do, in God. He is the one I turn to for peace when my life is spinning, for comfort when my soul is hurting, for strength when my heart is breaking, for reassurance when I am doubting, for joy when I am empty, for hope when I can't see any, for grace when I am undeserving. He is my all in all. Through nothing I did on my own; I believe He has sought me. I believe I have been blessed in this life because of His mecry. I believe I wouldn't be where I am in life today without all He has given me. I guess I believe I am more than lucky in this life- I am divinely blessed.And the greatest thought for me isn't even to glow at the thought of how fortunate I am. No. The greatest thought for me is knowing that all I have received and been blessed with in life is available, not just to me, but for every single person out there. That means YOU! I truly believe that anyone who seeks God will find Him and all the blessings that He gives- if they seek Him with an open heart. I believe God can be found in the saddest home, in the most dysfubctional relationships, in the most evil environment, in the most depressed society. It has nothing to do with the cards we've been dealt in life- but everything to do with how each individual chooses to play them.Thanks, Anonymous, for the opportunity for me to share in a more personal way, why it is I am the person that I am. It's not because I had parents that loved me and accepted me- although I believe I was fortunate for that. It has to do with God, who lives in me and keeps working in me and helping me become the person He has created me to be. I don't live up to His expectations all the time, and I find new areas in my life that need to be worked on all the time. But I know He is real and I am humbled every day that He cares enough about me to want me to become more like Him. I don't deserve the goodness He allows me, but I accept it and try to use it to bless others around me. It's the least I can do for Him.
I got a phonecall from my Number One Fan the other night. How great is that?! I answered the phone and heard, "Hi Jody. I just got done reading your lastest blog post and had to call and tell you that I'm your biggest fan."It was my mom.It made my day. Actually it's still making my day when I stop and think about it- so I guess it's making my week.How about you? Do you have a number one fan? Someone that loves and supports you and gets excited about you when you simply share your thoughts, ideas, concerns and dreams? Who would miss you most in life if something unexpected happened and you were gone? Would you leave a hole in the lives of other people? Would there be a void that just made others realize that they had something really great- but didn't realize how great, until now?I hope you are living that kind of life. One where you are adding something really wonderful to the lives of people around you. One where, even though you may have moments in which you aren't at the top of your game, people still want you on their team. They want to be a part of your life. They miss you when you aren't around. They look forward to the next time you're all together. I hope you are living a life that is consistently making you and/or those around you better people.I am proud of the fact that my Mom will admit to being my biggest fan. We've not always seen things on the same page. Sometimes we've been each other's biggest critic. Oh yeah. I've not always earned her respect and adoration. So, to hear her say that she loves who I have become in life is a really wonderful compliment, and it's humbling too. I have to admit one tiny thing though; I've had some really great role models (yes, Dad...I typed models-plural- meaning you too). I've learned from the best.I hope in writing all of this that I haven't disappointed some of you other great people out there in Nitty.Gritty. land. I suppose I could make more than one "Nitty.Gritty's. Biggest Fan" t-shirt and let you all think you're the one. Or I could hold a mini-online competition. But I think in the end there would be no doubt. My mom would win. Happy Mother's Day [yesterday]. I've been one to celebrate this day for more than 24 hours. As any mom out there knows, we certainly don't need an excuse or explanation to justify celebrating motherhood for more than a day. We've earned the right to stretch this holiday into a weeklong celebration, wouldn't you all agree?!
I uploaded these pictures in a more orderly fashion, but blogger just randomly posts them here. Anyway, this is just a fun post of some of the simple, good things that I have been fortunate to be a part of during the past 24 hours. (Lucky me! This isn't even all the pictures; I could have shown you more.)As you see here, we indulged in some hot-n-now Krispy Kremes. I totally ignore all calories or fat grams involoved with these glazed and creme filled babies, and just enjoy every ounce of sweet sensation! Yum-o. My kids woke up to a couple of dozen original and assorted donuts. To top it off, they each had a paper hat to wear- the mood was one of delight. It was almost "Christmas morningish". And we wonder where we get the whole food/emotions connection in life. Hello?! Fattening, sugary-glazed donuts make people happy. It's a simple fact of life. I'm all for eating food to make one happy as long as it's done in moderation. Another picture here is of Chip and me. We went out on a date last night and fell in "like" with one another all over again. =) Really. I used to tell Chip when we were dating that I was in "like" rather than love with him. I think it more accurately expressed my feelings. I was not one of those kind of girls to scribble love, love love all over my notebooks as a kid. Back to last night, Chip opened the door for me when I "let" him, and that kind of stuff. He had a surprise for me when we hopped in our Benz. He pressed play on the CD player and pulled out the new album released by Nick Lachey. I watched bits and pieces of Nick talking about the making of this CD and all the struggles he has had in life and how all the songs express his feelings of losing Jessica and so on and so on. I was feeling so badly for him and the hurt that appeared so real on camera. I thought his lyrics were right on the money. So last night, I got the CD- which meant Chip was thinking of me when I wasn't even with him at some point during the past few days. That is always a sweet thought. My hubby- being thoughtful! Oh yeah...I was definitely falling back in like with him.He let me "be myself " out in public with him at my side. I was in rare form. I am still enjoying the "high" from getting a new CD (sidenote here: I NEVER buy music CD- so that makes it all the more indulgent for Chip and me!), enjoying dinner out with my hubby, eating Krispy Kremes right off the conveyor belt, and taking pictures of my kids being happy eating their donuts.Life is all about the simple goodness. Look around and enjoy it in your own little world!
What is it about toes that everybody seems to love these days? Especially baby toes. They can bring women to tears. I know this for a fact because it happened at the scrap event I attended last month. Grown women, crying at images of baby toes, while listening to Eva Cassidy's version of the song, "Time After Time". Maybe it was the simple fact that the toes had been photographed by the gifted, Tara Whitney. Maybe. But I think it has more to do with the idea of growth and change and wanting to hang onto the time that we adults realize flies by all too quickly. Maybe toes remind us of our own childhood and how we ran barefoot, carefree, as kids.I've taken some pictures of toes on occasion. The toes pictured here are of my 3 and a half year old, Isabella. She is full of life and energy. She has begged to go to school like her grown-up brother and sister all school year. She has a sense of adventure. She loves to climb on the back of the couch and play loudly and run and jump and dance. She loves to run ahead of me in parking lots to get to wherever we are going first. She loves to push the limits and rules as far as she can sometimes.But in this picture, she took one step onto the rock I wanted to snap a picture of her sitting on, and then she stepped back. It happened about four times. She wouldn't put both feet on the rock. She thought there might be a bug. Or it might be too scary. She held back.I took the picture of her feet, not quite willing to take the next step. For me this picture is more than just toes. It is a picture of my Bella still being a little girl. As much as she wants to grow up and explore the world as soon as she can, she still has a lot of growing up to do. She still wants me to be there and tell her that everything is gonna be okay. To me this picture snapped the reality of just how innocent Isabella still is. Sure, she can get herself into trouble. Sure she has days she does things that need correcting. She has moments that frustrate me and test my mothering abilities. But I recognize that she is learning and growing and still has a lot of things to figure out. She has a whole lifetime ahead of her. Her destiny has yet to be determined. It starts with small steps, with me at her side.Maybe that's why toes can bring people to tears.
This is a Nitty.Gritty. personal blog entry. If you think you want to get into my head for a few paragraphs- read on. I make no claims that what I am thinking will translate into something interesting, usable, profound or enlightening in your own life. This is all for me. Mainly because I need to hear this and I'm not getting it from anyone else out there- so this is it. Nitty.Gritty. self talk. I keep looking at the pictures I have from my recent scrap event weekend where I spent a few days with mainly women who are seeking to get their memories and pictures down on pages and put them in a scrapbook. I find it intriguing and love the mediums- cool paper products, paint, chipboard shapes, tiny jewels and ribbons all over. I love that kind of stuff. I was lovin' every bit of it- including meeting people in person that I feel I have gotten to know in some regards just by reading their blogs the past several months.There's "Knitandpurlgirl" that hung with me from California. I probably wouldn't have been at this event if it hadn't been for her. We had a blast together, laughing and learning and enjoying adult conversation. There was Kelli Crowe- a tiny, fun-loving kind of "girl" who has a hubby and three boys and makes funky scrapbooking pages look easy and effortless. She was sweet. Then there were the class instructors.I overdid it with a few of them, I've been told. But it all seemed to happen so naturally. I mean, I'm not the kind of person to want to hang out with someone for the sake of being "seen" or to get all starry-eyed. I bumped into Cathy Zielske, [www.cathyzielske.typepad.com] first thing in the morning on day one and when I asked about getting a picture with her I simply asked for more than just a cute smile together. I asked if we could somehow make it seem like we were actually good friends hooking up after a long while without seeing each other. I was just being my playful self and it just so happens that when I'm in my element, I end up acting like a junior higher having a really good time- thus the candid shots of me and CZ. She was more than a good sport with me. She acted like she was a junior higher and pretended to have as much fun as I did. Sure, I admire her. Sure, I wish I still lived in MN so I could do lunch with her every so often. I think she's a great person in person and that's why it was fun hanging out with her. Not because she has such great talent and abilities and a couple of books on the market. That's all just secondary stuff.Then there was Elsie and Carrie and Heidi. But I can't write about everyone in one post now, can I?!What am I actually trying to tell myself? I'm not 100% sure. I do know that I've hardly been happier than I was at this event. Okay- I didn't have any responsibilities for kids or husband- so that may be part of it. I mean, I actually spent more than 10 minutes on self-care each day. That means I got a hot shower with nobody yelling in the background or me hurrying so I could get some Eggo waffles in the toaster oven for breakfast. I had time for my own thoughts, journaling, praying and actually being totally quiet and listening to my own mind "speak". I never have that kind of time. That alone was worth the price of my trip.But now that I am home and back into the life routine we live around here, I am trying to find ways to get a part of that experience back. I don't want it to totally fizzle out. I want to hang on to the way I was feeling- the fact that I felt like I have something to contribute to the world I live in, besides just cooking and cleaning. I am reminding myself that "my story" is valuable- if only to me and those closest to me, that I have abilities and creativity and a unique perspective and gifts and talents in there somewhere too.I owe it to myself to write it down (and maybe even go so far as to "scrap" about me) and recognize the worth in myself.It wasn't so very long ago that I remember myself very differently. I remember being the one that never went out on dates. The girl who had a lot of fun, but didn't have that many close friends. The girl who stuffed her feelings and pushed people away. The kind of person who got lots of A's on stuff in school without trying- but never felt that good at anything. The girl who always felt like she was never gonna measure up to anybody quite the way she wanted to- so sometimes she just didn't try her best. The girl who compared herself to others more than she should have. The girl who never really believed how great she was because she was so busy always questioning who she wanted to become.I know now. That girl sure doesn't seem like Nitty.Gritty. girl we all know and love today, does it?! I am realizing now, after many years of disbelief and poor self-image that this girl is more than enough. I am telling it to myself today, straight up. In front of everybody- because it means I believe it enough to "say it" in front of others. I guess there's that part of me that wants to turn and go back. It's easy being average and not trying your best or pushing yourself to become better. But at the core of me, I know I am worth more than that. It's taken a husband showing me years of love and gushing about me a lot in the beginning. It's taken lots of kids and their undying love to me- even when I'm not perfect, for the reality of who I am, to sink in a bit deeper. It's taken the belief and love of my parents and family for me to accept that they aren't just telling me things to be nice.It's taken the loss of a daughter- one who meant the world to me and still does every minute my thoughts bring her back to mind- to make me accept the value of an individual. It's taken a weekend of surrounding myself with other women who love telling stories about their families and themselves, for me to see that we all are worth celebrating. For no big reasons at all.Simply because we are here. We matter.I've always known that I matter to God. I think I am finally starting to realize just how much I do and all the reasons why. And I don't want to forget this. Ever. {Thanks, Nitty.Gritty.Me}
I had a couple of kids in the tub and two more to go when I realized tonight that most of what I do isn't all that difficult. What is tough is the ongoing maintenance involoved in keeping a big house and four kids and a husband clean, fed, groomed, and entertained- in a fairly educational manner...sometimes all of these simultaneously! I guess it can be difficult- but for me it's more of a mental challenge than a physical one most of the time. The biggest challenge is to not think of each day in terms of a whole, but instead, I have to constantly break tasks and routines down into their separate little jobs and time slots. But the trick is to not break it down too much or I find myself overwhelmed even more. There's a fine line here- that's why it's a mental challenge for me to be the mom in my house. Like clippping nails, for example. Sounds simple when I say I clip the kids nails. But if you take that one step further it actually means I am responsible for keeping my own nails clipped (10 fingers/10 toes) and that of four kids (40 fingers/40 toes). If you're good at math that adds up too 100 nails! So, I keep life in perspective the best I can. I encourage nail-biting and that helps keep me on top of some of my weekly chores. (I'm just kidding!)It must be the fact that Mother's Day is not far off. I'm still amazed and humbled to be the mom of so many great, busy little kids. They could do me in on most normal days. Instead, I pray every morning before I roll out of bed and so far I'm still sane and fairly content most of the time. I may not be up for any Mother-of-the-Year awards, but I have to admit I'm pretty good at what I do. Just go ask my kids!
Another round of blog tag- which just means you are about to learn some unimportant random facts about Nitty.Gritty. me at this moment in time. Ready? Here goes...List 5 things in your fridge:1. Hazlenut International Creamer & Southern Butter Pecan too- (the big size!)2. Mediterranean Spaghetti (because I brought a pan over to my neighbors who just had a baby- Gabe- on Saturday. Congrats, Chad & Angie!) I'll probably have to post that recipe soon too, huh? It's from Cooking Light Magazine- love that one!3. Zucchini- for baking bread in the next day or two4. 3 gallons of milk (we go through a LOT of milk at my house each week)5. Diet Coke with LimeList 5 things in your purse:1. Sony Visa Card...we pay for everything with this (well, almost everything)...it's how I got my last two cameras "free"- buy stuff, earn points, get free stuff! I love my camera, by the way2. Nitty.Gritty. blog cards3. Lime Tic-Tacs (Can you figure out that I like lime? Both the flavor and the color)4. Bath & Body Foam Hand Sanitizer- Hubby thinks I'm a "germ-a-phobe"5. Pouty Pink Lip glossList 5 things in your closet:I have a good-sized walk-in closet (I actually vacuum it once a week), which houses more than clothes...1. Ironing board & iron that hubby uses every morning2. Lots of scrapbook supplies- which hopefully will start getting used for making actual scrapbook pages3. Lots of Gap t-shirts- I really need to start wearing other brands of clothing- I think I'm secretly hanging on to the dream of going out with the "really cute guy that worked at the Gap when I was in highschool named Jay" [sorry Chip- now everybody knows!]4. diapers/pull-ups/wipes5. My wedding dress that needs a good cleaning and proper storageList 5 things in your car:1. 3 car seats- It's a major event getting everybody in and out of my vehicle!2. A "Teagan" mix CD- songs she loved or remind me of her...including "With Hope" by Steven Curtis Chapman and a couple of Tony Bennett songs from his album "The Playground"3. Miscellaneous Happy Meal toys4. A handicap tag for my rear-view mirror to use when Wyndham is with us- it was a while before we got one- it's still hard for me to stick it up because I feel like I'm announcing to the world that I've got problems- and that's hard to admit when you think you're doing pretty good with what you've been dealt in life. And I'm sorry for all the times I've remarked that certain handicap users don't look like they have any "problems". Trust me. I'd much rather not have to use the parking space. Hopefully it's something we'll be able to turn back it before the expiration date of 2010!5. More foaming hand sanitizer. Okay. Maybe Chip is right a little bit about my germaphobia, but hey, I've got lots of kids and sticky hands, so I do what I have to do for my own peace of mind. Pretty exciting stuff, I'll admit. And if you really want to be "tagged" and you haven't been it yet, consider yourself tagged. And now I'm no longer the "IT" girl. That was fun!
All you frazzled people out there who need a quick dinner idea- here it is- and just because I always loved bonus points when I was in school- I'm giving myself bonus points that this recipe is healthy AND my kids eat it up. I got my original recipe from the Feb. 2001 issue of Midwest Living. I'm fairly certain you can make this recipe even if you live on either coast...or in Australia- like my cute blog friend, "Glo-girl". =)Here goes:Cook 6 oz. of spaghetti noodles according to package directions. (I always cook more noodles- but that's just me.) Cook 1/2 pound of ground beef in a skillet until browned, drain fat. (Yep, I cook more beef too.) Next, drain spaghetti noodles and return them to warm saucepan-toss spaghetti with 2 Tbsp. of butter or margarine. Stir in 1/3 cup of grated parmesan cheese and 2 beaten eggs. Lightly spray a 9-inch pie pan with cooking spray and press the spaghetti mixture into pan and up the sides to form a "crust". Spread over noodles 1 cup of cottage cheese (I use ricotta most of the time- and yeah, I use more than a cup too.) Add 1 1/4 cups of spaghetti sauce to browned meat- mix well and then spoon over the top of cottage cheese. Sprikle with 1/2 cup of shredded mozzarella or cheddar cheese. Bake in 350 degree oven for 20-25 minutes, or until it's bubbly. Makes 6 servings.There you go. Dinner figured out for one night this week! Don't you just love blogging!
When I typed the title, I realized for this brief moment in my life I am the "IT Girl". No worry- I won't let that go to my head. In fact, I most often feel sorry for people who are being splashed all over the entertainment headlines and who get followed and mobbed by people and cameras and all the media hounds out there. I feel sorry for people who get so "big" that they don't know who their real friends are anymore, or who can't go out for a simple meal without being interrupted by fans. I feel sorry for people, like Nick and Jessica, who had to throw away their marriage because life was moving too fast and pulling them in different directions and their careers were too demanding and probably their heads were always spinning and suddenly they didn't think they could be or should be married to one another because it was all stress and no fun- and...Don't they know that marriage and life can be stressful even without half that stuff in their lives? Couldn't they have stopped long enough and had a few quiet moments together to remind them that they really want to be together and they would rather throw away some of the other "things" in their lives- in order to focus on what really matters in this life?Okay. So I'm not a marriage counselor and I admit I don't have the slightest idea what it was that made them end this relationship- but I am willing to bet that a big part of it was the lifestyle they were living and that makes me sad. That people will put things- jobs, money, their own wants and needs, lots of things- ahead of their spouse, and call it quits. It makes me sad that they and a lot of other people fall victim to the belief that someone else in the world is going to solve their problems, make them happy or simply do it better. Here's a true statement that I think a lot of people {sometimes even me} forget. Sooner or later everybody in this world will let somebody down. Everybody has faults and problems, habits or disease, struggles and issues...nobody is perfect. It's okay to have expectations and dreams and wishes and desires- but to think that they will all be fulfilled perfectly is unrealistic. It's not gonna happen. Ever.I came here to list some things in my fridge and closet and purse- instead I'm typing run-on sentences about celebrities and marriage and stuff. I have no idea how that happens- but it just did. Maybe one of you out there needed to hear my opinion on this matter. I don't claim to be the perfect wife (unless you're talking to all my hubby's friends- they LOVE me!) nor do I claim to have a perfect marriage. It's definitely important to me and therefore I WORK at it- but it doesn't just happen. Somedays I don't feel lovely or feel like loving. Somedays I wonder how Chip and I ever got hooked up in the first place- we can have totally different ideas when it comes to even the smallest things. But that's what marriage and relationships are all about. For me I think it is so cool to look back and see how I've grown and changed in the past 10 years. I am not the person I was when Chip and I met- and yet I am happy with who I am becoming. I know I will continue to grow and change and mature- and that my experiences and attitude and other influences affect that growth. I wouldn't trade Chip for the world- even on the challenging days. Or should I say especially on the challenging days- for I believe that is when most of my growth occurs.I guess I went totally off the subject for today. That's okay because it means I will be back to play tag another day. And I'll get to be the "IT" girl a second time. A self-proclaimed "It" girl. Oh yeah. I'm sure that Chip is gonna LOVE calling me that!
Okay. You all win. And no, I don't have 4 scrap pages to post here for you all to look at. I'm thinking there must have been an imposter Nitty.Gritty. Jody who left yesterday's post- it didn't sound like me- I never put deadlines on myself if I don't have to! It would just make me procrastinate and we all know I don't need that in my life.How kind of more than 20 of you to leave me such nice comments and threats too! I expected to finally see some notes from my family and close friends who read this {which is one of the main reasons I got into this whole thing in the first place- to keep them updated on my monotonous homelife}, and instead all you other wonderful, interesting people encouraged me instead. In addition, one of you tagged me via email and that was just a sneaky trick to get me to come back here and blog. I guess it worked- and I will probably play the tag game in another day or two. I'm sure you're all just dying to find out what kind of food I have in my fridge midweek!I do have some funny quotes and happenings from my kids this week- for my family when they do come by and read this. First, Brock lost his one of his top front teeth yesterday. He was hoping for $22 dollars from the tooth fairy and instead got only $5. I still thinkit's cool to know that $5 bucks is all I have to pay to sustain the innocence and dreams of my oldest child in my house. That was probably the best five dollars I've spent since buying scrap embellishments in Alabama!Next, instead of saying "she's scared" or "come and lay by me" or any other bedtime excuse kids come up with, Isabella's latest line is, "I can't do this." It's so funny but at the same time I am asking Chip, "What does she mean 'I can't do this'?...what kid can't go to sleep?" That's my Bella. Then there's my ever-progressing, Wyndham. She's been doing so great at rehab and in preschool. Today when I went to pick her up at school- with Bella and Ava in tow as well, she took off "running" the other direction and laughing the whole way. She was halfway down one hallway, Ava was dripping at a drinking fountain, and Bella was laying in the middle of the rotunda trying to make snowangels on the carpet. I know all the other parents are thinking I am the most incapable person in the whole school. Oh well- somebody has to be that person! So, I managed to get Wyndham to come back and she followed me over to Bella, Ava came running- trying to whiz past me and the next thing I know, all three of my girls are in the middle of the rotunda making imaginary snowangels on the floor. If only I had brought my camera- it would have been a perfect Kodak moment. Not of the girls on the floor- but of the look on my face. The one where I'm so glad that the VH-1 Pop-up video text bubble doesn't actually hang above my head sharing my thoughts with the world. Incidentally, I do that all the time. I imagine what other people are thinking or saying in certain situations. Fun. Good fun. If you don't already do this, try it sometime. It will make you laugh- especially at McDonald's drive-thru. Or in line at the grocery store. Or even at a gas station when you see someone get into their car wearing skin-tight hot pink stretchy pants, when it shouldn't even be legal for this person to own stretch pants.I'm sorry. Looks like the real me is back. I just wanted to make sure. So, thanks for all those comments. I made spaghetti pie for dinner tonight and the kids actually all ate fairly well. So, if you want me to post a picture and recipe- like more than 2 of you, let me know and I'll get right on that. And before I go, just wanted to add that it gives me great pleasure to make so many of you happy inside knowing that I'm not going away anytime soon. It was nice almost being missed by so many of you. =)
I'm still here, in case you were wondering. Been busier around my house because my friend and nanny is in GA and so there is more for me to do around my house! It's not as fun here without Rachael- really- for me or the kids. Golf season is in full swing, which means Daddy is gone longer hours at the course and we miss him too. Some days I imagine the future in which I won't have any sippy cups lying around the house or diapers to change. Which, by the way, don't you ever wonder why God didn't do that whole thing alittle differently? I mean, really. It would have been just as easy to make diapers smell good (I'm thinking like cinnamon or vanilla or even orange zest-scented) as it was to make them smell horrible. Did he think we moms would just let our kids run around in dirty diapers just because they smell so good? I'm not sure what the real reason, but I plan on asking Him about that when I get to Heaven someday.Also, been thinking more and more about making scrapbook pages. Some of the stuff I saw and heard at my scrap event is kind of sinking in a little bit- besides I've got some awesome products to use, so if you don't hear from me for a few days it because I'm challneging myself. I think I may put my blogging on hold until I scrap at least 4 pages. I want to see if I can do the pages, but I also want to see if the pressure of not being able to blog gets me more motivated to do pages.So, that's what I'll be up to for however long it takes. I've been a little down in the blog dumps too- wondering if it really matters in my life if I keep blogging or not. Maybe some of you have had the same thoughts. I do this for me, but I'm wondering if it's a good use of my time or not. If you have any inspiration or encouragment for me now would be the time to share. I promise I read all my comments and emails too. I feel like it's a big part of the deal. If I blog, I owe your thoughts my attention. So, if you want me to read your stuff or check out your site, drop me a note and/or link. Hope to see you around!
A couple of days ago, before my thoughts got swept up in reflections of grief and heartbreak, I had noted that I would be making a cake with my kids. While some of you may think it doesn't make sense to post a cake recipe after writing about such personal feelings, for me it makes perfect sense. It makes me realize the connection that everything has in life. It makes me realize that bad and good happen simultaneously in this world. And that helps me to believe and trust in God- if that makes any sense at all. For me it comforts me- knowing that God has everything in control at all times- even when it doesn't make sense to you and I.So, the fact that I'm posting a picture of cake and sharing the recipe with you doesn't mean that I've forgotten and moved on so quickly from the deep feelings I've been processing, but instead that I am accepting reality and I live my life moment to moment. The ups and downs all fit together and create this crazy, difficult, wonderful, questioning adventure called life.What you see here is a picture of a piece of Rhubarb Cream Cake topped with real whipped cream. This cake holds deeper meaning than just taste and calories for me. It was a favorite of Teagan's- she would help me pick the rhubarb when we made this cake- it was an early sign of spring and renewal too; that life holds great things after a long, dreary winter. This cake not only tastes yummy, but it embodies wonderful memories for me at the same time. How many things did you eat this week that made you stop and think or remember and reflect too? I think sometimes we need to slow things down and appreciate all of our sense in life- including taste.Okay- so you should totally be dying for the recipe by now- so without further ado...Rhubarb Cream Cake as told by my mother~Make a yellow or white boxed cake mix according to directions. Pour batter into a lightly greased 9x13 cake pan. Next chop 4-5 cups of rhubarb into 1/4 inch pieces. Sprinkle the rhubarb pieces over the top of the cake batter evenly. Next, sprinkle 2/3 cup of sugar over the rhubarb and cake batter. Open a small package of dry strawberry jello and sprinkle that over the cake. (You think this is strange, but trust me...I'm not making this up!). Finally, pour a pint of half and half cream over the entire cake and sprinkles. Place the 9x13 pan into a preheated 350 degree oven and bake for 45-55 minutes. You may eat it warm or refridgerate and eat it chilled. I've had it both ways and still can't decide which way I like it best. And I love, love this with real whipped cream. But that's a genetic thing for me...Dad was a former dairy farmer and my Mom just plain loves the stuff. So, that's how I like it best.Good luck with this and if you actually make this- come back here and rate this in my comments from 1 to 5 stars!
Yesterday morning I got a phonecall from a close friend telling me that some acquaintances had just received the terrible news that their 18 year old daughter had been killed in a terrible accident. Chills went up and down my spine, my throat got tight, my gut hurt, and for the rest of the day, I relived my own experience of overwhelming grief, pain and heartache.My hubby would say that I've said enough on this subject- that you've heard all you need to hear. But this is where I come to process my thoughts, to spill out my feelings and to learn from my own words. So, today is one of the days where I do just that. I tell myself what I already know. I revisit some of the lessons I've learned over and over in life. I remind myself of the truths I've experienced- and hope to gain maybe a bit more insight. Or appreciate my life, right now, a little bit more- even though I thought I was already doing a good job of that. I listen to the messages my heart is pouring out once more.I never would have dreamed that I would be one who understands another mom's ache for the loss of her daughter. That's where the hurt in my gut came from all day yesterday. My mind raced and remembered all the painful moments that have consumed me since the death of Teagan. I know- through my own life experiences- that the road ahead of the family whose path crossed with that of unexpected death is not an easy journey to take. It is one they will wish they could jump off of every morning when they wake. It is one that will try every last ounce of the strength of their soul. It is one that forever taints every happy moment they will experience in life again- life will never be the same- as innocent, as easy, as carefree. Their hearts will bear scars forever.I was consumed with these thoughts all day and can't help but wonder what it all means in the grand scheme of life. It reminds me that life isn't fair. It reminds me that pain and grief is something anybody can face at any moment in time. It reminds me again of how precious time is with our loved ones. It reminds me of how so many things in our lives are not really as important as we think they are- we would love more and just simply BE- if we knew it was the last day with the ones we care most about. We can't take back time. We can't change the past. We can simply live in the moment we have today.In nearly five years, I've learned that life hurts too much when you look at it in reverse. I'm not saying I don't revisit memories of Teagan or the moments of bliss we shared. But, I've found to focus on what I had and what I wished I'd done differently, or what could have happened instead of what did happen- brings me down. It creates a wound that can never heal. The only cure I've found is my faith. The faith that gives me HOPE and PEACE and COMFORT and JOY in life again. It tells me of a future in Heaven where all the questions I have will be answered; where the pain of living will be understood. It is how I live- it is believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse. It is the reality I live in that Heaven isn't really that far off- it is only a breath away and we are all "mists who appear for a short time and then vanish". It is what keeps me going in the darkest moments, it picks me up and helps me see beauty in life- the here and now every single day. I hope my experience helps to bring out the best in others' lives. That you can appreciate your journey because of the way I've learned to walk mine. My heart goes out to Newell, Colleen and Carly. I hurt because I understand the hurt they are feeling and will feel for years to come. But I also have a picture in my mind that brings a smile to my face. It is one of their beautiful daughter, Whitney. She is glowing from the light of Heaven around her today. She is breathing the air of Heaven. She knows only sheer delight and is astounded by the glory all around her. I know the Cerak family shares the same faith I possess, and in that I take great comfort. Nothing in life compares to it- and I hope they find it to be an unending source of all they need to meet the deepest needs of their hearts as they pick themselves up and start the new journey of their life.My wish for you is that you would have this same understanding when life hands you brokeness and heartache. That's my Nitty.Gritty. hurting thoughts for today- that I find really comforting, because they bring peace as well.
Are you ready for a little trip today? I hope so. You are just going to have to trust me on this one. I know it's not normal, but I've found a lot of great things and surprises in life are just waiting around the corner if we are willing to take a peek.So, today I am sending you on a sort of "treasure hunt" if you will. Instead of writing out my most recent thoughts, you are going to have to click over to another blog to find them. I happened to stop by a blog that I go to usually once or twice a week. This morning I was led to comment and my words got rather lengthy in response to what Greta had written.She is an artist at heart, but has a message within. I would love for you to go to her blog, www.vintagelife4me.blogspot.com and read her post titled "Let My Lifesong Sing to You". Then I want you to click on the comments section and read my response. That's my post for you today. It's where my heart and soul are at at this very moment in time.Then if you feel led, please leave her a comment- or even better, come back here and leave one for me. I'm so hope you find this to be worth the extra effort. I believe that some of life's best blessings are there for the taking- we just need to go the extra mile. I hope this message is something your heart needs to hear. Enjoy the ride!
Here are three of about 75 pictures that were snapped at Scrap Etc. event for your viewing pleasure. I will add a few more featuring me and my cool California roomy- plus the always zany Kelli Crowe and maybe a couple of others. But I kind of feel hoggish too. Like I want to protect and keep private some of the moments that I experienced as they were so meaningful to me and I don't want to trivialize their importance by sticking them up here for all to see. Now I get a small taste of what real-life celebrities feel like when their pictures are snapped and released to the media without their consent. And even though I am doing this more for me (and don't worry! I know I'm no big-shot, so you can spare the snide remarks in the comments already, okay?!), I just feel like there is a certain level of respect for all parties involved, and I am not going to be the person to taint other's reputations. That's that.I apologize to those of you who come here looking for a daily dose of depth and insight to inspire you in your daily routine- but just play along here for another entry or two of my new-found "scraphappiness." What an amazing thing it was for me to be able to connect with people who look at life in a similar manner as myself. It gave validity to my creativity, thoughts, hopes and just plain made me feel good about who I am. Any concerns I had about the money I was spending on this trip and the time I would be away from family proved to be just me overthinking the whole scenerio. Those worries vanished from the moment the event began. I went. I had a great time. I got new ideas. I met new friends. I was inspired. I think that basically justifies my actions. Today. More laundry, more unpacking and just doing what we all do at my house. Make messes, clean up, make more messes (which specifically includes baking a Rhubarb Cream Cake- dee-lish, may have to post picture of that cake and recipe too...), clean up and just enjoy life in all it's simple glory. Afterall, isn't that what makes life wonderful?!
I'm home. Back from the longest stretch of me-time I can remember and it was wonderful. And exhausting. But it felt good and whatever doubts I had about going to that scrap event melted over the course of the weekend and by the time I headed home yesterday it was though I could look up and see all the stars lined up in place for me. I chose to be bumped from my original flight home and got a round-trip ticket to use for another time. It was so reassuring to me that I had truly been in the right place at the right time. Don't you just love it when that happens?!So, to anybody who stops by that was witness to the Scrap Etc event, leave a comment to say hi. You were a pleasure to be around and I hope I can do it again sometime.There is no feeling in the world that compares to the hugs one gets from the "stars of your life" after being away from home for any length of time. I've got some truly happy kids this morning- happy just to have me home. I only wish they could appreciate me like this all the time! No matter. I am enjoying the extra big smiles, the tight hugs around my neck, the kisses from two kids on my cheeks at the same time, and just simply feeling their love. Oh yeah. Chip's happy I'm here too. And Rachael is probably feeling relief.
First off- let me just address all of you who want pictures here. They are forthcoming. I promise. I think I may post them over a period of time, just so I don't overexcite some of you with too much of me- downright happy- blissful, even- at once. But don't worry they're a comin'.The really neat thing for me isn't actually even posing with these fun people, because I can PhotoShop myself {and I've done it before...seriously} into a picture with them, but it's about witnessing their creativity and passion for life and art and all things inspiring in person. Talk about an experience! I'm feeling a certain vibe with these "people" despite the fact that I don't necessarily do what they do (which is make scrapbook pages and albums)- and I may even catch the "bug" before I leave and actually start to do it in my own life. I'm walking the line at this point...and the terrific part is how good it feels!Just being around such a wealth of creativity and talent has made me want to kick it up in my own self. My level of "coolness" has just about peaked out {if that's possible} by rubbing elbows with all the "greats" of the scrapbook industry. I'm thinking that the let-down that's gonna hit me early next week while I'm emptying the dishwasher and doing laundry is gonna be a bummer- but I'll have proof in pictures of the feeling I've got right now. I'll just have to print a bunch out- sticking up on the fridge and make myself happy all over again."Seacrest out." Where'd that come from?! Nitty.Gritty. out! =)
Really I would. But I'm not. Yet anyway. (You had to read the title of this post for all that to make sense.)I'm in Birmingham, baby...and for all you scrap-happy people out there, you would love to be me right now. Uh huh, uh huh. I've had my picture with Lainie, KelliCrowe, Carrie Colbert, Cathy Zielske and Heidi Swapp so far...next up Elsie Flannigan! Who wants to be next?! Line up behind all the cool people. {wink}On a lot of days in my ususal life- I sometimes have moments when I sit and think about who I wish I could trade places with in life for a day or two. Not today. Probably not tomorrow either. I am living la vida buena {that's Spanish for livin' the good life, isn't it?!}. So, after more than ten years of never being anywhere without my husband and/or kids for more than 24 hours, I am loving my new found freedom! I promise I will board the plane Sunday morning and head back to reality and I love and miss my family...but for now, I'm soaking it all in.And while I'm feeling it and living it- I might as well encourage it to all of you. Take a minute for yourself. Crank up the radio when you're driving yourself to work tomorrow morning. Jump at the chance to remind yourself how great of a person you are... aside from being parent, employee, husband or wife, mom or dad, and enjoy a moment in life all to yourself. Or if you're lucky (like me) take a whole weekend. I'm thinking I shouldn't wait another 10 years to do something for myself again. Oh well, I can't obsess about all my missed opportunities in life when I'm in the middle of loving me and my present moment!If I don't come back here for another day or two- just know I'm having the Nitty.Gritty. time of my life!!
I'm wondering if it is in their DNA as kids- to have the ability to know when they are pushing too hard, and suddenly there's a moment when they have to turn on the charm...Isabella has been so good at this lately. Last night she pulled this stunt on me at bedtime. She's a handful at getting tucked in and making her stay or at least read books quietly- she seems to get more and more energy as the night wears on. So, last night was no different, except that I was on my own at bedtime- with no nanny or Daddy to jump in and have them take a turn with her. She was begging me to come lay down for a few minutes. Normally- no big deal. Last night- uh, let's see...I'm trying to get my life all in order for this weekend when I'll be gone to Alabama. I had plenty of things to do, and the least pressing item on my to-do list was lay down and snuggle til my 3 year old falls asleep.But, being the mom-in-th-moment kind of mom, I decided to lay down- rather than threaten and yell and lose my patience- which in case you're wondering, does wear thin on occasion. Last night it was getting pushed- but still had some give. So, I settled down next to Bella and expected her to start singing or story-telling or asking me if we can get a dog or something. Instead, she just turned over and said, "I love you, best Mommy. Merry Christmas."If I were the kind of person to tear up easily, I would have been bawling. (No tears from me last night- thanks mostly to my staunch German heritage.) I did grin from ear to ear and I stayed a few minutes longer than I would have had Bella not poured on the sweetness.So, that's my Nitty.Gritty. mushy story for you today. And to think I never, EVER, EVER wanted kids- when Chip and I first met. You know people are always telling people without kids that it'll be so different when you get your own. Well, the truth is, it's not different. Kids can be a real pain when they want to be. They can stress you out more than you dreamed possible. They can make you worry til you think your heart will break. But, they can be the most wonderful thing in the world- at a moment when you think you're almost running on empty. They can change a moment from being one you dread into one you hope you never forget. With a simple sentiment at bedtime such as, "I love you....Merry Christmas". In the middle of April, no less!
I think the real winner in this whole thing is me! I got to "meet" some regulars here- thanks so much for your kind notes and for guessing too. We have a winner...Missy, you may email me your address and I'll try to get something in the mail before I take off for my weekend.The song Chip and I danced to was "Fly Me to the Moon". I fell in love with it from the movie "Once Around" (Richard Dreyfuss and Holly Hunter), and on one of our dates Chip was whistling the tune as we walked along the hallway of a mall. I had just doodled the lyrics as I sat in one of my college classes earlier that day.You know how when you're falling in love with someone, everything just seems so meaningful?! That song was it for me that day. Later on in life, it was one of the songs that Chip could sing to Teagan and she would calm down for him so well. As she grew up she learned all the words to it too. Funny how a simple song can hold such meaning.Anyway, I'm glad to see that there are still a few of you out there reading Nitty.Gritty. Don't worry. I don't plan on shutting this blog down anytime soon- even if I stop getting comments altogether- I'm doing this first for me. You just happen to get in on the deal! If your comments link to a blog or webpage, I want you to know I check you out too. Sometimes I leave comments as well.Thanks again to all my "new" blog fans. And congrats to Missy for getting the song right! Ciao for now.
I've noticed my "ratings" dropping off around here, and so I'm pulling out my big guns today. Are you ready to play along? Here's the jiggity-jig.Be the first person to correctly guess the song that played while Chip & I danced our first dance as husband and wife. You may guess up to three different songs- but there's a small catch. You must NOT have commented on Nitty.Gritty. prior to this post- I'm looking to see if there are people out there reading, but not responding (besides you, Andy!) The winner gets a Nitty.Gritty. piece of mail and probably a tiny fridge magnet or something like that. Just so you know, I read all my comments- so don't try to sneak in the game. Unless I hit 24 comments and nobody has answered correctly. At that point I will open it up to anyone who wants to play along. (I picked 24 comments because I've topped out my comments at 23 people so far.) Good luck and I look forward to "meeting" some of you!***Edited***Hubby thinks I've gone blog-insane to post a game such as the "wedding dance song" game, but I guess I'm okay with that. I know he still reads this and loves me the same- no matter what I write about.So, I am now opening this silly game up to anyone who wishes to play along- and who doesn't think I'm as wacko as my hubby thinks that I am. You may guess once- because here's a big clue...We danced to a classic tune by Frank Sinatra. It was a tune that came up early on in our dating relationship, and it kind of just stuck out as the song for us that day. When I hear it at the weddings I work at, it always makes me smile!
We had a happy Easter at our house this weekend. I am happy to say that although the chocolate bunnies and colored eggs are a fun touch, Easter has much more depth and meaning than that. I hope you found your celebration to be more than just enjoying food and family, even though that is a good thing, and were stirred inside at the thought of the deeper meaning of this holiday. For me it is a reminder of the HOPE that awaits me for all eternity- my religion celebrates a living God and Savior. It means that I pray to a God who hears me, cares for me, has a plan for me, and has a place waiting for me in heaven with Him someday. My faith is more than just going to church or doing good things in hope that I am counted worthy of getting into heaven someday. I hope that you already have this same hope and assurance through your faith. If not, I hope you will seek it with all your heart until God becomes as real to you as He is to me!That's the meaningful stuff for today. The rest of my thoughts are consumed with my preparations for the rest of the week. Three days til I'm on my way to Alabama for my Scrap weekend! The tough part of the trip is all the stuff I have to do before I leave home. I'm the kind of person who likes to have all my bases covered- you know- the obsessive, over-thinking mom...that's me. I was thinking, if something happened where I did check out "for good" it would take a small team to fill my shoes. That's a good and bad thing. It makes me realize how much I do for my family- and I feel good about that; they deserve a lot of me- but it means doing a lot of extra work so that life runs smoothly while I'm away.I've been having fun making little goodie bags for the ladies that will be teaching the scrap classes in Birmingham- you know, Elsie, Carrie Colbert, Heidi Swapp and Cathy Zielske. The fabulous four! I made a bunch of mini-magnets for each of them by pulling pictures and logos off their blogsites. I figure most of them probably have a magnet board somewhere in their scrap area- or at the very least they have a fridge that they can stick 'em on. Or they can give them away to someone who really wants them.I guess I've got plenty on my Nitty.Gritty. to-do list this week. Wish me luck!!!
Twenty-nine years ago a young lady made a decision in her life that affected my life in a permanent and special way. I'm sure it was the most difficult decision of her life; one that has caused her to shed more tears than she can count. That woman is my youngest brother's birth mom. Jeff came to our family in a unique way. I believe it was planned out before the world began- so it was no surprise to God- but it wasn't totally unexpected in the lives of my parents and us as his brothers and sisters back in 1977.My dad had recently sold a farm and given up his life as a dairy farmer in order to go to college and pursue a degree to do ministry- specifically as a church minister. My mom stayed home with my siblings and I- there were four of us ages 2-8. Needless to say, we had a very busy household and a full life. Or so we thought. A simple phonecall to my mom in the middle of the day changed all that. The man on the phone asked if she would be home that night because a baby would be dropped off at our doorstep. My mom laughed, but went along with what she thought seemed to be a prank, and much to our surprise, in the middle of an April thunderstorm, late into the night there was a knock at the door and a man handed over a baby to my dad. He gave him a slip of paper and told him to contact by phone the lawyer written that note. That was it. My dad didn't ask questions.Imagine the surprise and delight in our home when me and my sisters and brother woke to find a new baby in our house. I remember all the questions we had... "Where did he come from? Are we gonna keep him? What should we call him? Where did he come from again? I didn't know we were gonna have a baby!"I was four years old at the time. I was so in love with babies and puppies and anything small and cuddly at that age. I "claimed him" as mine. My mom told us he may not stay with us forever, that his other mommy might come back and take him back to her home. She found me sleeping on the floor in front of his makeshift bed that second night he was with us. When she woke me to take me back to my bed she asked, "Jody, what are you doing sleeping here on the floor?" I matter-of-factly replied, "If his mom is going take him back she's gonna have to step on me first!"Thankfully Jeff stayed in our home and lives for good. He has been a part of our family since he was five days old, although his adoption wasn't complete until he was 11 months old. I have always felt a special connection with my brother Jeff. He and I have shared a bond as brother and sister that isn't always typical. We never had the spats and fights and rivalry that a lot of brother/sister relationships have. We have laughed and goofed around and been good buds since day one.This past fall Jeff married his beautiful wife, Marci and they have two wonderful kids, Rachel and Owen. Jeff's life has had its share of struggles, as well as joy and moments he has accomplished so much! I am proud to this day, to say that he is my brother. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it- he has added a dimension that although it wasn't planned or decided by my parents, has added much happiness to all our lives the past 29 years.Today I say thank you to his birth mother, Robin, and I hope she knows deep in her heart that she gave us a gift we cannot put a price tag on. To Jeff, I say "Happy Birthday." I believe in fate and purpose and I'm so glad that God put you in our lives in a very special way. Best wishes for another year of happiness and joy! All my love, Girl.
