Tuesday, May 16, 2006

My response to you...

After reading my post from yesterday, an anonymous person left a comment to which I would like to respond to today.
Here is the comment left for me:
Unfortunately for too many, having a number one fan has not so much to do with the life they are living as with the cards they've been dealt where people in their life are concerned. I know people who have every right and reason to expect Mom or Dad to be their Number One Fan, and yet, one or both is totally disinterested in their lives. But I'm glad your mom appreciates you. You are lucky.
Here is what I have to say in response:
Yes, I AM lucky. And I realize that and I am thankful for the relationship I have with both of my parents. What makes me sad is for people who get hung up in life or turn bitter towards others or use their poor relationship with their parents (or any other person who lets them down) as an excuse in life. As an excuse for anything. I totally agree that it's not fair that some people grow up with all the love and support in the world. I agree that it's not fair that some people deserve love and care and never get it- no matter how hard they try. I agree with that- but that doesn't give someone the right to be angry, or bitter or violent or selfish or greedy or hurtful or pitiful, or a lot of other less-than-wonderful qualities out there one can choose to be.
I say choose- because I fully believe who we are comes from within. While we can be affected by our circumstances, we ultimately choose how to respond to our events and surroundings. For me, I cannot begin to imagine who I would be without knowing God as my personal savior. He is the One who has allowed me to become who I am. He alone, I believe, is the one who can satisfy all the longings of our hearts. He is the only being I know of who will never let you down or disappoint or turn a deaf ear to. He alone is able to change all the past experiences you have into teachable moments, He can use your pain and disappointments for your good and personal growth.
I admit, I was lucky when I was born into the family I was raised in; I had no part in choosing my surrounding. But I have made choices all along the path of my life. I am believe that when life hands us brokeness and pain and troubles, that those are opportunities for us to grow as individuals. For me, again, I couldn't imagine getting through some of the events in my life without having the relationship and belief that I do, in God. He is the one I turn to for peace when my life is spinning, for comfort when my soul is hurting, for strength when my heart is breaking, for reassurance when I am doubting, for joy when I am empty, for hope when I can't see any, for grace when I am undeserving. He is my all in all. Through nothing I did on my own; I believe He has sought me. I believe I have been blessed in this life because of His mecry. I believe I wouldn't be where I am in life today without all He has given me. I guess I believe I am more than lucky in this life- I am divinely blessed.
And the greatest thought for me isn't even to glow at the thought of how fortunate I am. No. The greatest thought for me is knowing that all I have received and been blessed with in life is available, not just to me, but for every single person out there. That means YOU! I truly believe that anyone who seeks God will find Him and all the blessings that He gives- if they seek Him with an open heart. I believe God can be found in the saddest home, in the most dysfubctional relationships, in the most evil environment, in the most depressed society. It has nothing to do with the cards we've been dealt in life- but everything to do with how each individual chooses to play them.
Thanks, Anonymous, for the opportunity for me to share in a more personal way, why it is I am the person that I am. It's not because I had parents that loved me and accepted me- although I believe I was fortunate for that. It has to do with God, who lives in me and keeps working in me and helping me become the person He has created me to be. I don't live up to His expectations all the time, and I find new areas in my life that need to be worked on all the time. But I know He is real and I am humbled every day that He cares enough about me to want me to become more like Him. I don't deserve the goodness He allows me, but I accept it and try to use it to bless others around me. It's the least I can do for Him.


Cris said...

That was beautiful and very well said. I know I haven't ever really posted, but I always enjoy reading your blog. God Bless.

rhonda48089 said...

I am going to have to disagree with you somewhat on this topic. I am a very firm believer that you are what you were raised initially. It takes a very determined strong individual to overcome some of the strongholds in your mind. Some people are not in a place or dont know how to get to the place to overcome the poison in their mind. I can say this because I had a very bad childhood. Worse than anything you ever saw on Oprah. Only in the last 10 years have I overcome a lot of negative self defeating thoughts. If people didnt get bitter and angry about the things that happened to them they would not have the motivation to change the cycle. If who you are comes from within, then it would make sense to say that if you've been in a bad situation and that is all you know, then that is what you end up being unless your a very strong person with lots and lots of support. Unfortunately some people are never able to rise above. I dont blame it all on them. And we can't always choose to respond to things they way we would if we had a better life or a better mind frame. Just for instance I might want to go to college but if I do my sister will be left alone with someone who will abuse her instead of me. I might be smart enough to choose to move to a better neighborhood but if I do I wont be able to make sure my neice gets safely to school each morning. Just a different way of looking at things.... :) Love Ya

Jody said...

To rhonda48089-
That's where God comes into the picture. He can make a way for all things to become new. Maybe not perfect, in the here and now- but He will give strength and help for an individual to tolerate or to in some instances, overcome different situations. I'm thinking of certain people that were sent to concetration camps and had to endure things in their life that cannot begin to compare to what I have had to experience in my own life. Some chose to give up. Some chose to merely exist. Others survived, somehow got out of there, and lived to tell about. Some lived a long life afterwards, although they bore permanent scars- they inspired many and taught us all lessons. I stick to my opinion that true, we don't all choose our circumstances, but we do all have the choice of how to respond to any given circumstance. And if a person is fortunate to find God in the midst of suffering- He will make all the difference in the world! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Kellie said...

I have to agree with Rhonda.

But I agree with you, too, Jody, to a degree.

No, unsupportive family does not give one the right to be bitter and nasty to the world. It's not an excuse for bad behavior.

But even if you rise above your past and manage to be the personification of love and compassion, there's no guarantee that you, too, will have a Number One Fan.

Before my mom died (too young), she was my biggest fan. But I don't take credit for her being so. I think it says more about her as a mom, than it did about me, frankly, for her to play that role. Her death has been the single greatest opportunity for growth in my life. And, like you, I take comfort in God, and in knowing I will see her again.

I'm proud of how I live my life, and I know my mom would be proud as well. The fact that there are no big fans for me is not something I am going to blame myself for, or believe could be a product of how I'm living my life.

If any part of your post yesterday was objectionable, that was it for me. The repeated references to living your life so that you can have a number one fan...as though it's a status that is earned.

I believe that lots of people do, and yet that blessing eludes them. Not b/c they are bitter people, but because that's how Life works sometimes.

Julie said...

Hey Jody,
Thanks so much for your posts the last few days, they helped to remind me what Gods love is all about. I agree with you totally. I have not had the great youth that you did, my parents are strong, but have been through a lot of crap. A lot of that crap was turned on my brother and I when we were young. Now, as adults both of us still struggle with different things. I have been in struggle with depression the last few years, It is there and then it is gone, or at least I am able to put it away for awhile. Anyway, I have been feeling very sorry for myself the last few days, you know the "mad at the world" kind. Reading tonight I felt something click. I cannot control my hormones and sometimes I can't control the depression, but if I just remember that Jesus loves me more than anyone ever will, then it will help me through. Jesus is my "number one fan". Not just mine everyones, everyone who wants him to be and even those who don't want him. Because God made each of us for His pleasure. He loves us all, unconditionally. How AWESOME is that!! Thanks Jody for once agian opening my eyes. Julie

Kirsty said...

This is the first time I've discovered your blog and it's amazing. I love the amount of inspiration you have and that you are a woman of God. I'll definitely be reading your blog more often. Have a blessed day.

rhonda said...

Jody...I TOTALLY agree with your thoughts on God. Without Him in my life...I am nothing! I don't deserve His grace & forgivenes.
It is a DAILY battle to be a better person...but I am striving forward.
Life has not dealt me the curve ball that you were thrown...but I also realize that I never know what can happen in just a few moments...so I try not to take life for granted.
I was raised in a Christian family...but I do not feel that I have the support and understanding from my parents. Now we live 3 hours apart...and we "sorta" get a long!...but with Christ in my life...I feel complete and at peace with the "family" (me, dh & 2 kids) I have surrounding me!

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you Jody! God can totally make ALL things new! That includes the bad stuff of life. I know this is true, because of what He's done for me. I've read it in your story as well. That was what His whole ministry on Earth was about...he came to give all of us LIFE! Not only Eternal Life but a "new" life in him. If you (people out there) don't know what that is about try asking him. Just say "God, if this is true~~show me what that person means!"
Jody this is your blog where you share your life, your thoughts and all that is a part of you. If people take exception with it~~then they don't have to come in and read it. Plus they can leave and just forget what it was all about. I think you are refreshing and sweet...it comes through so clearly in your words...in your sharing! Thank you so much for your transparency!