Sometimes you gotta wear your flair.

I am caught up on laundry for a quick moment. For real!
My house is fairly tidy too, as we had a guy come and take measurements for some caret that we are getting replaced. Funny how I can clean the house for some random guy that comes over for a mantter of minutes. ButI can totally let it go and live in it with clutter here and there for days- with the people I love most in this world. Something seems amiss about that. And I was convicted of that thought even as I put things away earlier today. So I am going to make that my personal challenge when it comes to cleaning. Instead of letting things go I will hopefully tell myself, "No...do it! Do it for the people you love, right now!"
And maybe, just maybe they will want to do a bit f tidying to show their love for me right back. This could be a win-win!
Speaking of win... Chris Cross who likes aqua, gey and yellow, email me your address and I will send you a little book and scraps. Yay for happy mail! {nitty.grittyjody at yahoo.com}
I have to share one more story that goes with the photos here today. All this talk of flair reminded me of when I used towork at TGIFriday's many years ago. We were required to wear at least "10 pieces of flair" and I never could part with my uniform and all that flair. So when I mentioned my boring Friday nights {because Chip works late and I am stuck home with 6 kids every Friday} on a Facebook update, I joked that I could make the night fun by wearing my old uniform. Well, one thing led to another- as it sometimes does on FB- and I found myself cooking noodles while sporting my stripes and flair. The kids got such a kick out of seeing me in my old outfit. A couple of them were surprised that I had ever actually "worked" before- "you had a real job once, Mom?!". It was like I was a Disney character and they even wanted their picture with me. hee hee
Yes, it was fun and humbling all in one. But it made our boring night a bit moe exciting and reminded me of my own advice that I don't take often enough which is "Sometimes you have to create your own Joy". We played some games, had popcorn and watched Ice Age and turned our hum-drum Friday into one that made a memory. Hopefully I can follow this act coming up this Friday. Or maybe I will just have to wear my stripes and flair each week! Although I wonder when the fun would wear off.  =) I was just happy that my skirt still fit! And now I have an excuse for why I save the crazy things I do. They are joy-makers. That's why!

A little book about YOU.

 

I have a friend named Sarah. Sarah has a couple of doggies in her family. One of them is a Boston/Pug and I am always gushing over his pictures when I see them in her Facebook feed. I asked her if I could scrap some of the pictures she has posted of them. She said, "yes".
That was several months ago. Just before we found out we had to move out of the rental house we were living in. It was before my life got extra crazy and I was well into enjoying my 'free time' by scrapping and making stuff with paper and other bits and pieces that come in my mail each month from Cocoa Daisy.
I had such great intentions to create a little book with the puppy pictures I had received the blessing to scrap. Flash forward all these many months later, and when my February kit- Double Feature arrived and I opened it up, I instinctively knew that this was the time to put together the book I had been longing to create. The kit is live for purchase tomorrow if there are any still available. Each month the kits and add-ons have been selling faster and faster. I know that Christine {my friend and owner of the awesome Cocoa Daisy kits!} is upping the number available as of next month. So there is hope you can get in on it then- if you miss out this time. Or you can become a subscriber and know that one kit will be headed your way each month, if you are into that and I can attest to how great the kits are- each and every month!
So there's that bit of inside info for my scrap readers here.
A bit more about the book I made. There is a tutorial I posted about some of the process of creating it on the Cocoa Daisy blog here. This is a link to the book in my gallery where you can click through the pages and see them enlarged and in greater detail if you like to see them that way here.
The story behind the text of the book, "You" is that as I thumbed through the pictures I wanted to tell a story and not just scrap cute photos. I used the images to sort of 'guide the storyline', but the truth is the statements and messages along with the photos are something I wanted to share with my friend, and it is so fitting for my kids, and I think it is a message for anyone who reads it. It's as much for me as it is for anyone else too.
It is hard to hear the 'truth' about us at times. It is hard to grow up and live in this big world of ours and find our way, or just be still when it is time to do that too. I am still learning. Still growing. Still hiding in corners so many days at a time, and still trying to believe in the fact that I have so much to offer. That is the message I wanted to send. Loud and clear.
And yet in a subtle, adorable, scrapping, unimposing sort of way. That is how this book of "YOU" was born. I hope it speaks to your eyes, your heart, or to whatever other part of you is open to receive its message. And if you take nothing away from it except one thing, I hope it is this:
You are loved. xo
YOU
You come into the world tiny, soft and full of needs.
There is much to learn.
You will have days filled with play, curiosity and wonder.
Other times you will have days that just wear you out.
You might even feel like hiding in a corner.
You might feel like finding a cozy spot... and let the world simply pass you by.
But always know that you are special.
Adorable.
And loved more than you can possibly know or feel.
Putting on a special shirt or tie, or a favorite pair of shoes can bring out the spunk in you.
But the truth is that you don't need anything extra to make you a better you.
I love you... & the world shines brighter just because you're in it.
Yes.
You.

Tired.

I can tell you one thing today. I am tired. I sometimes wonder if it's harder to be the one watching and caring for and empathizing with the sick person than it is being the sick person. I would switch places with Wyndham and climb in the hospital bed and hook up to the IV machine if I could no question about that. But there is also a certain amount of stress and strain on the rest of us who juggle the needs and schedules of the rest of the family and try to keep the routine of life going even when someone is sick. It's a challenge, I'll tell you that.

I think Chip is doing a better job of dealing with our life issues than I am. I am sleep-deprived and still battling my own cold and sort of wishing I was a bear right now. Nothing sounds better than climbing into a dark cave and sleeping away a couple of months. =)

I spent the day with Wyndham yesterday and she just wasn't taking fluids like the doctor had hoped she would and she still has a horrible cough that gives her fits off and on and sets her back on fluid intake. She had almost no energy yesterday and yet she wouldn't take a nap. So she needs more rest and recovery and we're hoping she'll start turning the corner sometime today. When I got home late last night the house was quiet and smelled of fresh baked cookies. Chip somehow found the energy and desire to make a batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies with the kids. I think he earns a SuperDad badge for that effort. We caught up with each other for about 4 minutes and then he was out the door with his overnight bag to spend the night with Wyndham.

I have to admit, I do falter in my faith when I am tired and weak and now is no exception. It's hard to see how an all-loving God can allow sickness to drag on and how He doesn't just snap His fingers and make things better again. But in my weakness and lacking energy I know the best thing I can do is hang on and keep trusting. No matter how tired I get.

Thanks so much for your prayers and support for all our family when we get worn down especially. I am hopeful that things will get better soon. I like to remind myself of the quote which goes, "Always remember that in the midst of the deepest valley there is a mountaintop on either side." Sometimes the way seems long, but I do know that ultimately all roads out of the valley lead to a mountaintop experience. I am ready for that to happen. After I get a good long nap. Which may just happen later on today. Here's to HOPE!

Read this today...

"The older we get, the fewer things we find that are worth standing in line for". Isn't that the truth! Have you read any good quotes lately? Also, what would you stand in line for more than an hour for?
I'd stand in line for a nice family picture or this.
Although I think after standing in line for an hour, there wouldn't be too many smiles to capture! I'm trying to de-clutter my countertops today and this blogpost is my break from that. So pardon the randomness of it. I think I'm going crazy from the mess that seems to never end around here. I'm going to be a minimalist in my next life. Ha!
Here's one more random thing for your day...scroll down this blog to see some cute felt garland. I like it alot. And I don't think it would clutter up my counter, but would look good draped behind everyone if we were to take an autumn picture. =)

My little guys.

I snapped these photos on the only clear fall day we've had all month long, it seems! I don't know about the weather where you are, but here in west Michigan it's been way too wet and cool for my liking. I am really hoping for some sunshine and dry weather in the next week or so. It would be nice to get out and enjoy some autumn weather. As you can see, Crew was happy to be outside and barefoot as well. Until he realized I was just using my Blackberry phone as a prop to get his attention during the picture-taking session. I couldn't resist capturing his sudden mood swing and cry on camera when the fact sunk in to his little head. Brock thought his attitude change was funny too. Poor Crew, he's having to learn that you don't always get what you want at such a young age, and there's not much sympathy for him either! Life is tough, huh?!

I've heard it said that if we all were to toss our troubles into one big pile, that we would quickly scramble to grab back hold of our own. I don't know if I would agree with that statement in my own life, but it does make one stop and think about what we do have to be thankful for. I've found that gratitude- for even the smallest blessings in life- is one of the surest ways to experience contentment and keep complaints to a minimum. I also firmly believe that without a true relationship and belief in God and His ways that some things in this life can be truly overwhelming. I'm so glad that in the good times and bad times I can trust that God is in control. There's something so amazing and reassuring to have such a Peace. Especially when things don't "go our way".

I'd like to share this quote by A.W.Pink with you in regards to God's faithfulness- which is what I lean on no matter what circumstances come my way. It reads:

"Far above all finite comprehension is the unchanging faithfulness of God. Everything about God is great, vast, incomparable. He never forgets, never fails, never falters, never forfeits His word". I don't know about you, but I find that trusting in an unchanging, loving God is something that gives a deep and satisfying calm in an otherwise uncertain world. I hope you are trusting in Him too!

Seasonal inspiration.

I have seen these velvet pumpkins on several different sites/blogs in the past week (photo credit to Indie Rocket here). Since they are so pretty and unique and making me wish I had some or could make some of my own, I thought I'd post them here too. I love that the colors are so non-traditional- no golds or oranges to be seen, and yet they somehow say autumn in a really big way.
Besides velvet pumpkins, I also have this thought on my mind today- one I heard on the radio and have no idea who to loosely quote or attribute credit to, but I'll share it nonetheless. The thought is this:
When you suddenly find that your world is upside-down, maybe it's not really upside-down at all, but in fact, right-side up. It may be that you need a change in perspective!
Isn't that a neat way to put it?! I know I have been there too many times in my life to count anymore- living at times as though the world is against me and feeling desparate to try to gain the upperhand or take back control and "flip" things back the way I want them to be. I know how life can turn so suddenly and leave me feeling helpless and scared and frustrated and depressed, even. I have to remind myself that just because something doesn't feel right or line up with the way I would choose things to go in life, means that I'm on the wrong path. It means I need to refocus. Or reallign myself with the way God is leading and directing in my life.
It's so hard to try to live in the moment and yet "see the bigger picture" at the same time, isn't it? That's what I feel like I am struggling with most in my life/heart right now. No, life isn't upside-down for us at this time, but I sometimes need to be prepared for what lies ahead. Perspective, can indeed, change everything!

Bella's birthday.

It's just after midnight and we're finally putting our feet up after celebrating Isabella's 7th birthday today. She requested a stack of pancakes, "three high with a square butter on the top and syrup dripping down the sides". She wanted to know if that was possible or if it only happened on tv or on packages. I assured her she could have them if she wanted them. What a simple request, yet she was very impressed, although she couldn't eat them all. Brock wanted a similar stack and stated, "I should have asked for those pancakes on my birthday!". Ava wanted her pancake in the shape of an "A" and Wyndham got a "W".
Luckily for me I like making pancakes and playing with food. I think pancake batter fonts is one of my favorite foods to make. =)
Obviously it's getting late, but I just had to note the pancake conversations as well as this remark from Bella when I first saw her today. I hugged her and wished her a Happy Birthday. Then I said, "Are you excited to be 7 now?" to which she replied, "Well, I don't really feel different yet; 7 feels pretty much the same as 6".
It was a great birthday. I took too many photos according to Chip. I'm sure you'll see some of them soon enough. As for Chip, well, he had a good day too. He ran his first 5k and beat his goal for his overall time. I've been very proud of his disicpline with weight loss, exercise and healthy choices when it comes to food for a few months now. He skipped the pancakes. But I think he had a cupcake tonight. As I hoped he would. Birthdays are some of the best days to eat cupcakes. Especially when you're celebrating turning 7.

In the moment.

I am big believer in living and loving the right here; right now. I happened upon the quote posted above by Ayn Rand through this blog. It's a quote so poignant and inspiring. Too many people waste their days longing and wishing for something they can't have- something from their past, or thinking something is out-of-reach in their future. The desperation they feel starts out maybe as a small twinge in their heart/soul, but as time goes on they give into that belief system and soon they have a roaring fire ranging in them that literally controls their life.

It's sad, but happens all too often, leaving in it's wake broken relationships, bitter hearts, self-pity, gloom and dismay. Do you know anyone like this in your life? It can happen suddenly too. I sat in a dark valley myself realizing at one point that there is always a choice to divert from life's dark path and choose a new Way. Fortunately in my situation I had many friends and family and a God who loved me and gave me a feeling of Hope that choosing a better way out of sorrow would make life worth living- even after Teagan's death. In the depths of despair, I felt the need to move beyond that and wanted something More in life. I wanted beauty and Joy too.

I thank God for giving me many blessings- even on the twisted, winding path I've been walking for years. It's been wrought with pain and sorrow and confusion and questions, but I've learned that not wallowing in it or closing out the world and hiding in the pain has opened up new and amazing moments. Moments I would have otherwise missed. This is what I hope to inspire out of the pain of my life. That no matter what comes- and pain and heartache DOES come, there is always a chance to find beauty and Hope.

One of my friends has a beautiful story of hope in her own life. She has learned some of the same lessons in life that I have- that you can choose beauty and Joy and hope is never out of reach. Andrea is giving away a class on her blog if you stop by and leave her a comment. You will love some of the creations she makes and she has some really wonderful techniques to inspire you too. Stop by and tell her Nitty.Gritty. sent you. =) She'll get a kick out of that.

I challenge you to embrace your moments today. Big or little; exciting or mundane; challenging or comfortable. Imagine there is no tomorrow, how can that thought impact the way you live today? Choose contentment; let go of an expectation; forgive a wrongdoing; see something in a new way; live in this moment and find it can make all the difference in the world.

Thinking about faith.

In the online Biblestudy I'm doing with some of my friends we were invited to write down our definition of faith. (Link here to homepage of Biblestudy for those of you who have emailed and asked me about it. I think it's a good one!) I've shared my favorite definition here before, but think it bears repeating. I heard it several years ago and it's never left me. It says, "Faith is believing in advance that which only makes sense in reverse".
Read that through and let it sink in for awhile. It's really that good and true. Since I already have a definition that I think sums it up so well, I decided to think about and compose a short statement summing up what faith is to me. Here's what I've come up with:
"Faith is nothing until you find it's all you need" or "Faith is nothing until it's all you're holding on to".
I've really had my faith tried and tested and stretched and questioned and out of all of that, it's grown stronger, deeper and defined what I know to be true in this life and beyond than anything else ever had or could. Many of you know that I was a pastor's kid for most of the years as I was growing up and into college and beyond. I was "raised in the faith", you might say. I know more words and verses to hymns and Scripture than a lot of people I know. I can whiz right through the Bible category on Jeopardy. I get almost all the Bible crosswords right in Sunday paper puzzles. I have a lot of 'faith knowledge' in my head... although I also know there is a never-ending amount of theology and faith-based topics to debate and discuss and ponder that I could never fully understand it all. Even after all the years studying and learning about faith and the Bible and other religions, I feel I've barely scratched the surface most of the time.
However, all this knowledge does me no good unless it goes from my head to my heart and actually changes and/or affects the way I live. Just as someone could hold the cure to cancer in their head, it serves no purpose unless it is applied to the life of one who has the disease. In the same way, I have learned that for many years I understood what faith was, but I rarely needed to put it into practice in my life or let it "consume me". It was just there.
I think that happens to too many of us. We might think we know all the right answers. We might trust that we have faith and feel comfortable knowing that if anything "really bad happens", we have something to fall back onto. But the fact is faith is so much more than just having the right answer at the right time. It's not supposed to be just a security blanket we carry around and pull out when the going gets tough. Rather, a deep-rooted faith should be life-changing. It should guide and direct our steps and teach us to be patient when our heads and hearts are full of anxiety. It is real faith that gives us peace in the midst of life's darkest storms. It is faith in the unseen that allows us to have Hope when all else appears hopeless. Faith is also having Joy when there seems to be nothing worth singing or dancing about in our lives.
My faith is something that I have come to depend on every day. I used to think faith was about following a set of rules- a long list of 'do's and don't's that God handed down to us through the Bible". I'm glad I was wrong about my former definition of faith. I'm grateful that, even through life's hardest struggles, God has shown me faith isn't about what to do or what not to do, but rather it is His gift of assurance and Hope and promise to me to always be with me and to have my best interest at heart. God isn't holding a rolled up newspaper over my head waiting to use it when I mess up and fail to follow the rules right. No. God is waiting with arms open wide with a Plan for all our lives and a Hope for our eternal future- our sins have already been covered by the blood shed by His perfect son, Jesus, who died for everyone of us. There is nothing we can do to earn (or learn!) His favor. It's a gift to us, given freely, to those who choose to believe. And in so doing, we begin a life of building our faith and trust in Him that I have found, compares to nothing I ever had before.
Faith is so hard to put into words, and yet so worth the effort of trying. If I can ever encourage you toward a faith that matters in this world and beyond, it is my honor and privilege to do so. If you ever have questions about faith and if I can begin to answer them or share what I've learned, I am more than happy to do so. I feel like I've been so lucky, SO changed by what God has done and given to me through His grace. It's undeserved and yet something I'm thankful for every minute of every day. Without faith, I know my life wouldn't look the way it does. Without faith, I know I would be worthless;lost. Without faith, I know my future would be hopeless.
If I could have only one thing in this world, it would be my faith. And that's all I would need!

Maybe you need to hear this too...

I turned on the radio for about 30 seconds today and this is, in part, what I heard in that short amount of time...
"There is a Power in this world that's bigger than the circumstances you walk in."
It really struck me and spoke to me in a way that I needed to hear. It's easy to get wrapped up in our problems, isn't it?! How great it is to know that God didn't just create this world and then leave us all to fend for ourselves. He cares intimately about every one of us and offers us strength and patience and grace and abilities and whatever we need to go through our days. He cares about our great days and our not-so-great days.
He gives us new mornings and fresh starts and offers unconditional love no matter how many times we fall down or doubt or fail. He is good and promises to meet our every need. He even knows our needs before we do. He is faithful to those whose trust is in Him.
I needed to hear that again today.
I hope to encourage anyone else that needs to hear it too.
Nothing we face is too big or beyond the realm of God. He can do it. Our task is to trust fully in Him.
I often wonder how people go through their days without having God to lean on and carry them through. I don't know what I would do without His care.
I need it- every hour of every day!
Maybe you do too!

The votes are in...

A member of SIStv posted a link to the following article found here- taken from Relevant Magazine. I couldn't have said it better myself and am duplicating it here for you to read.

America Chooses Obama
By Roxanne Wieman

Well, here we are on the other side. A watershed moment. An historic election. And we, the American people, have made our choice.
Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States, and the nation’s first black president. And in elections across the country, Democrats won their seats in the Senate. When Obama takes office in January, he will do so with a Democratic majority in both houses of Congress.

“The American people have spoken, and spoken clearly,” McCain told his supporters in Arizona after the results came in.
But what about you?
Those of you who took our RELEVANT poll yesterday favored McCain: 47 percent of you voted for the Arizona Senator and 33 percent of you for Obama. So, are you disappointed? Will you hang your heads today? Do you fear for our nation’s future? I’m not so sure.
So many of us—members of the widely contested “young evangelical voters”—were divided about this election. Not just as a group, but even in our own hearts. I know which candidate I chose, but it wasn’t an easy decision. And, to be honest, I didn’t really care who won. I agreed with both. I disagreed with both.

What I’m wondering now is where do we go from here?
While the electoral vote and popular vote strongly favored Obama, our country is still largely divided. This was a hard-fought, personal and passionate race. There are wounds on both sides. Can Obama and the Democratic congress heal those wounds? Can we help?

Yes and yes.
Obama ran as a unifier. He condemned our party divisions and championed cooperation across party lines. Many of the Democrats who won seats in the Senate ran with similar platforms. If Obama and the Congress majority maintain that position and “reach across the aisle” in the years to come, that will certainly go a long way in healing our wounds and unifying our country. Karl Rove has already expressed his own wish that the Republicans would do the same, "I hope we will support [Obama] when we agree with him, persuade him when we think his mind is open, and oppose him when we think he is wrong.

"Whether unity happens in Washington or not, the question still returns to us: what can we do to help? As Francis Schaeffer so famously put it, “How shall we then live?” Now that the election is over and Obama and the Democrats have so clearly won, how shall we then live? I believe that we, the young Christian voters, can uniquely answer this question. I believe, in fact, that this is the very question we are so primed to answer. Because this election and its profound life issues has galvanized us to true action.
Yes, we voted. But it’s more than that. Through this election, we’ve become aware of the major social issues of our day. And now we want to do something about them. We recognize an election will not change everything. We do not rest our hopes for change on a political party or candidate. We vote, we hope, but we don’t stop there. Tomorrow and the next day and the next and in January when Obama takes office, we get up and we continue our sojourn to follow Jesus. We live our votes for life, for justice, for peace, for equality.

We comfort our friend who tells us she’s considering abortion. Then we gently tell her why we believe life in the womb is precious. We help her find alternative options … and we stick by her side all through the pregnancy and birth and after. She is not a statistic or a faceless evil to us.

We love beyond racial, gender and sexual lines. We reject stereotypes. We embrace individuals. We work for reconciliation.

We do not talk about “that side of town,” we live there and work there and mentor there. We are a part of educational reform, and ESL, and rehabilitation.

We recycle. We reduce our imprint. We consciously make our purchases, recognizing the global implications. We strive to “live simply that others may simply live” (Ghandi).

We personally pray for our soldiers in Iraq, for the citizens of Iraq, for our leaders who are making tough decisions that affect millions of lives. We really do pray, and we believe our prayers matter.

We continue to work hard in the jobs God has given us, saving our money and stewarding our resources. We tithe. We donate. We volunteer.

We continually challenge each other to deepen our understanding of whole life ethics and Jesus’ call to follow Him.

I believe this is who we are. I believe this is who you are. I believe we can be the change we’ve voted for—no matter who we voted for.

We'll see...

Today is a big day. Chip brought Brock and Bella along with him to vote. They were happy to see what it was all about. Brock is very interested in the outcome. As most of us are!

Bella said to me the other day, "When you grow up a little bit more maybe you can be the president... we've never had a girl president before!". (Her first grade class has talked a bit about the election and she has seen some 'coverage' on Nickelodeon channel.) But before I could even respond to her she quickly asked, "Wait, do you even know how to be the president? You could go to a special school and learn how to act like a president- then I'll vote for you!"

I just hope whoever gets this big responsibilty knows how to be humble.

That's my vote... a little humilty in this role goes a long way.

So I took Ava along with me "to go vote" and on the way out of the building she said, "Now we can go to the beach!". I laughed and said, "Um, it's a little bit warm today (58 right now!), but it's not a good day to go to the beach; we do that in the summer". She looked at me and said, "But we're supposed to go boating!".

Poor girl! I guess we lost a little something in our communications, but she's alright with that since I promised she can do some scrapping. She's become quite the little creating queen lately. Maybe I can learn a little something from her. Then it's on to presidential-acting school for me. =)

I found this quote...

I was up and going early this morning, and by random link, happened upon a quote that just said exactly what I needed to hear. Maybe it will speak to someone else too.
Wyndham is still needing lots of care and not rebounding like we hoped she would this week. It's been a long 10 days or so...and yet we are told to just 'wait and see'. She did show a few signs of her personality coming back, and she stayed awake longer periods of time. Still, she needs to start eating and drinking a lot more than she is, and we're hoping that kicks in by tomorrow. Thanks for more cards for her and emails and calls. It's nice to know that she has so many people pulling for her. I hope it helps. Soon!
And now, for the really great quote I found this morning...
by Rev. Stacey Rector...
"Our God is not the one who sits high upon a throne in heaven ruling over the world in abstentia but instead bends down low to embrace us where we are. Our God is not one who seeks to be protected from our pain but seeks to be present within it. Our God is the One whose promise to us is that there is no fire so hot, no darkness so deep, no pit so low, no cross so painful that God will not move heaven and earth to share with us."

Innocence...

A double blogpost day...because Bella said this,
"Does Santa have to stop for bathroom breaks on Christmas?". We do 'believe' in Santa at our house although we celebrate Christmas because it is recognized as the day Christ was born. The most important part of this holiday season is to focus on what that birth and Savior meant to the world, and to us, as sinners and believers now.
I am thankful for both the fun that this special time of year allows our family, but most importantly I am thankful that we have a Real Reason to celebrate. Jesus is the Reason for the Season!

My favorite things and another cute line...

I turned on a Christmas cd during dinner and when one of Ava's favorite songs came on (Come on Ring Those Bells) she said, "My heart is dancing from this song!". Tell me, what's your favorite Christmas song? Mine is Silver Bells.
The above image is the one I have saved as my desktop background right now. I just think it is simple and festive. You can find it here. There are others available too. I'm just sharing my favorite.
I've decided to share some of my "favorite things" from now til Christmas. They will be random. They will most likely be inexpensive...I am a tightwad when it comes to money. So feel free to share some of your random favorite things with me the next few weeks as well. Especially if they are a good deal. =)

So I don't forget this...

I am blogging about it. Brock and Bella both have rooms downstairs at our house. They go to bed about the same time each night and it's a race upstairs in the morning with those two. They are like clockwork.
Well, a few days ago Bella came bounding into our bedroom and said, "Guess what? I just had a bad dream...I got Brock's dream! It was the wrong one!" You should have seen the scowl on her face...and it only deepened as Chip and I both burst into laughter. It was so funny.
I think she must think there is a 'dream fairy' or someone that goes around and 'loads dreams' into your head at night...much like a dvd or Gameboy game. She was so serious about the dream mix-up that when Brock woke up, it was the first thing she announced to him. That she had gotten "his dream"...and I think she fully expected he was going to tell her what he had dreamed up in the night- that would have been more to her liking.
As for yesterday, it turns out I had one of my worst hair days in a long time, the wind was fierce and cold as I headed back to the classroom, and I couldn't get all the lights to light up on our prelit Christmas tree...but it still ended up being a 'great day'. I had my moods- ups and downs. But it ended sweet with my kids and I snuggled on the couch watching 'A Charlie Brown Christmas'. You know, I don't watch much tv...but I applaud ABC for still airing this Christmas special as is- Scripture references and all. I'm sure they get their fair share of 'it's politically incorrect' email/calls, and yet they run it each year.
I love when people are willing to stand by what they believe. No matter what others say.

Simple truths...

"All change begins with thinking."
I heard this quote today (in regards to personal enrichment/spiritual growth) and just wanted it to sink in a little bit more. I love when truth is so simple. I'm just trying to figure out why it can be so hard sometimes.
Here's one more that I heard a couple of days ago. Yet true none-the-less.
"There is no such thing as a happy selfish person."
Think about that.
Then leave me any great quotes or profound statements you've heard recently. I love a good, thoughtful quote. It may even end up on a scrap page. I've got a little idea spinning in my head. One of these days my great ideas are gonna make it from there to the page. =)

On my mind...

As the days draw closer for school to start, it reminds me again how much I miss Teagan and it makes me wonder each year, just what she might look like, how grown up she would be as she would be anticipating a new beginning. My heart used to ache for the things I missed out on because of her unexpected death.
But this year, as I started imagining her and trying to 'fit her' into our lives based on what her age would be (she would be 10 yrs. old and about to start 5th grade!) I just couldn't. My mind just can't even wrap around my 4 year old being in middle school. As much as that makes my heart hurt and the tears burn in my eyes, it is just as much a blessing in my life. To know that I can't mentally bring her back into the picture of my real-life actually stirs my soul from sadness to one of joy and peace.
For I know that Heaven cannot begin to compare to the experiences that the rest of us go through from day to day. I know that Teagan is in Heaven, and it is a comfort to me like no other. The fact is she DID miss out on a lot of things here on earth. But none of them would be worth coming back to this world for. The things I found myself realizing the past few days is that she is only missing out on the bad, the scary, the nerve-wracking, the hurtful. School can be a wonderful time for kids- and it should be. But when I think back to that time in my life I can also recall tears that I shed over things like "friends" talking behind my back, or having my feelings crushed for whatever the reason may have been. There were times I got picked last for the team, that I forgot my locker combination or that I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw and it threatened my self-image and esteem for a long time. I remember the mixed emotions inside me at that time in my life. Sometimes I just wanted to be silly and innocent and free...yet I knew that life was beginning to expect more from me and there were demands and expectations that I knew existed and I just didn't want to let anyone down. Least of all, me.
What I imagine now when I look ahead to the coming days and years is that, yes, I am sad to a certain degree that Teagan isn't here to be a part of our 'memories'. Everyday I find I miss her presence and all she would add to our lives. Yet it makes my heart glad to know that she is not missing out on any goodness, love or grandeur. She is in Heaven- the place we all wish to be someday. Chip and I have laughed together and enjoyed fond memories of her... but some of our sweetest are ones that we never had to actually experience. She never dated the 'wrong guy'. She never had a broken heart. She never had to feel rejected or unloved or insecure or unimportant or uncertain. She lived a life of joy and gladness- more in her 4 short years than some will ever experience in a lifetime.
Just this past weekend it has been 6 years since we had our first memorial service for Teagan. I remember that day so vividly. Chip and I had never fathomed such a day would actually occur in our lives. We couldn't begin to imagine how we would feel, what we would do, or how we would get through such an unimaginable event. Nothing in life prepares you to say a final goodbye to the one you love- especially when just days before Teagan had been the light of our lives, the joy in our hearts and one of the main things that our whole lives centered on from morning til night. She would laugh and dance and run and play and talk and hug and kiss- almost non-stop. And suddenly that was gone.
One moment stands out in my mind as the most difficult and surreal moment of our tragedy and her death. As we prepared to head to the church for her memorial service, we were surrounded by family and friends whose hearts were broken alongside ours. We had lots of family and friends staying with us, and so we drove several vehicles to the church. I was the last to leave our house- along with my mom and dad and my aunt Dorie. I was unable to walk at that time because of the extensive nerve, muscle and tissue damage in my legs as a result of my injuries, and so I had been using a wheelchair, as well as trying to use crutches.
There were three steps to manuever down our front entry way for me to reach my wheelchair. I was deteremined to walk down them on my own- with the aid of my parents at my side. As I stood on that top step, my heart, mind and body literally froze. I could not move. My parents thought at first, that I was just in so much pain and needed to take my time.
But the fact was that I was so heartbroken that I physically couldn't take another step forward. I knew it would be admitting to myself the reality of what faced me- just moments away- the final farewell to my little Teagan and the beginning of my life without her in it. It just didn't seem possible, and I was frozen in that moment not wanting time to move ahead even one more second.
It is that same sense that I feel at times like these- as I watch my other kids grow and transition and look forward to their future in new and exciting ways. It's true, Teagan never got to do some of the things parents dream for their kids from the moment they are born. But it is me who is missing out on such dreams. Not her. She's in Heaven; and I cannot begin to wrap my mind around the beauty that graces her now.
With that, I have to share a quote by Emily Dickinson that was printed inside a card that a close friend of ours gave to us just before Teagan's service. It says,
"This world is not conclusion, a sequel stands beyond,
invisible, as music, but positive, as sound."
One day I know we will write the ending of our stories, together. For all eternity!

Music and lyrics...{not the movie this time} =)

As you know, July is my deeply reflective month, and this year it has hit me off and on as in years past. Especially so when Wyndham struggles with things- like being sick for a few days and getting her shot each night and just the things we still do for her that a 'normal 6 year old' would be doing independently. It's those moments when life hits me hardest. NOT that I would trade having Wyndham in my life...not that I can't handle her challenges...not that they haven't been some of the very things that help 'pull me through' at times. They just are. They are reminders and at the same time, they are reason enough for me to know see that God has His hand in everything that happens in our lives- good and bad.
So when a song played on the radio the other day I got home and I just felt like I had to find the lyrics. It was one of those songs I just felt the words 'speaking to me'. I am learning that often times that is God's way of speaking to me- through music and song.
I came upon not only the lyrics to this song [By Your Side by Jamie Slocum] but some thoughts shared by the artist as well. What he was saying resonated so clearly with some of the very thoughts and questions I experienced in my own life just days and months after Teagan's death and as I struggled with trying to adapt to all of our injuries and with the emotional trauma that I was dealing with everyday. The 'trauma' part has turned from 'drama' in our lives into more of acceptance and routine. It has been and, as I am finding, sometimes still is a part of life...but it doesn't affect us deeply as it once did.
I am grateful everday that God continues to walk with Chip and me and our family...that He shows Himself to us when we have moments of hurt and doubt and that He clearly has blessed us in so many ways. Even with pain and heartache, we are finding that the good outweighs the bad; that there is a plan and a purpose for everything. I don't necessarily know what that is or where it will lead...but I know that God can be trusted. I know that He is good...all the time.
Here then, are the thoughts and lyrics from the artist of the song that spoke to me. Maybe they will speak to some of you, in some way as well. Just my thoughts on a Monday...when life is 'normal'...and to me it's the most beautiful thing.
Jamie Slocum-
I think "It was one of those days, you know?, when all the possibilities, good and bad, come rushing in on you, and you begin to feel the weight of the unknown. For a moment it was overwhelming, reflecting on the ups and downs of life, the inconsistency in my walk with God and those I love. Then, suddenly, I was overwhelmed by this one thought-that regardless of whatever I didn't know, there was one thing that remained constant and true, that no matter what happens-trials, success, failure-I know where my home is, my heart knows my home is with God."
By Your Side-
And I know there’s a plan for you
Your life has a purpose
There’s hope beyond your broken road
Jesus set a place for you
At the front of the table
with the weary and the wounded
And He’s showing the way, the truth, the life
for every day
So when you lose your way
Don’t give up, don’t give in
This is a race that you can win
Every time you get passed by
There is a reason why
God loves and believes in you
He knows the pain that you’re going through
He’s with you every step of the way
And He’s by your side
When your life comes crashing in
You’re a ship without a sail
Everything you’ve tried has failed you
Never thought you’d feel so sad
It’s a nightmare without end
It's getting harder to defend it
God will send his heavenly host to fight for you
and help you walk on through it
Don’t give up, don’t give in
This is a race that you can win
Every time you get passed by
There is a reason why
God loves and believes in you
He knows the pain that you’re going through
He’s with you every step of the way
And He’s by your side
By your side every day every night
Don’t give up, don’t give in
This is a race that you can win
Every time you get passed by
And you’ve lost your way

Time, love and tenderness...

This post has nothing to do with Michael Bolton....that title just seemed fitting while I sat here waiting for the pictures to upload. I'm not really into musical reviews. Although I suppose I could do that...and show you w good look at who I am- musically speaking. =)
I've had a busy week...and can't believe I missed a few days of blogging. My mom is probably going through Nitty.Gritty. withdrawal, while the rest of you are just getting caught up from Father's Day and didn't even notice I was gone!
These pictures are a few more from our family day at Meijer Gardens. I was happy to catch the kids having fun and so into what they were doing that they didn't even notice me taking their photos. In the bottom photo they are all making silly putty strawberry pies...much like 'grandma' used to make. =) Not my grandmas...they were both expert pie makers...and I still love Grandma's pie at Thanksgiving.
I found, as I went about my tasks and activities this week, that priorities had to shift and my schedule was full where it normally has some down-time, and I'm not as a good a juggler as life demands sometimes.
Brock had lacrosse camp; in addition to therapy Wyndham had a field trip to a Whitecaps game; I 'crafted' with my girls, I helped with a church garage sale, and also my Shabby Rockstar Collection goodies arrived for me to play and create layouts from SIS tv. That was all on top of the usual 2 loads of laundry a day, chalk drawing on the driveway, baking zucchini bread, and other fun stuff. =)
While driving to pick one of the kids up, I heard a message on the radio and one of the quotes jumped out at me. It's fairly simple, but sums up so much. It simply went like this:
"The greatest thing in all the world is Love.
The greatest way to express your Love is through Time.
The greatest Time to express your Love is now."
I just wanted to share it with you, since it really meant a lot to me...and many of you that read Nitty.Gritty. mean so much to me. I was feeling badly that I couldn't share more time here. So I am making up for it by saying how much I appreciate the love and support and new friendships and encouragement that I get from so many of you every single week.
I have been blessed to know that there are many people who understand this concept...that Love IS the most wonderful thing. That Time IS precious and says more about how much we love than our actions do oftentimes. That even when I have nothing to say- whether I am too busy, too up, too down, too reflective, too introspective, too off-the-wall, too all-over-the-place...that you are willing to wait it out and you keep coming back for more.
Even if you're not my Mom.
=)