How do kids know?

I'm wondering if it is in their DNA as kids- to have the ability to know when they are pushing too hard, and suddenly there's a moment when they have to turn on the charm...
Isabella has been so good at this lately. Last night she pulled this stunt on me at bedtime. She's a handful at getting tucked in and making her stay or at least read books quietly- she seems to get more and more energy as the night wears on. So, last night was no different, except that I was on my own at bedtime- with no nanny or Daddy to jump in and have them take a turn with her. She was begging me to come lay down for a few minutes. Normally- no big deal. Last night- uh, let's see...I'm trying to get my life all in order for this weekend when I'll be gone to Alabama. I had plenty of things to do, and the least pressing item on my to-do list was lay down and snuggle til my 3 year old falls asleep.
But, being the mom-in-th-moment kind of mom, I decided to lay down- rather than threaten and yell and lose my patience- which in case you're wondering, does wear thin on occasion. Last night it was getting pushed- but still had some give. So, I settled down next to Bella and expected her to start singing or story-telling or asking me if we can get a dog or something. Instead, she just turned over and said, "I love you, best Mommy. Merry Christmas."
If I were the kind of person to tear up easily, I would have been bawling. (No tears from me last night- thanks mostly to my staunch German heritage.) I did grin from ear to ear and I stayed a few minutes longer than I would have had Bella not poured on the sweetness.
So, that's my Nitty.Gritty. mushy story for you today. And to think I never, EVER, EVER wanted kids- when Chip and I first met. You know people are always telling people without kids that it'll be so different when you get your own. Well, the truth is, it's not different. Kids can be a real pain when they want to be. They can stress you out more than you dreamed possible. They can make you worry til you think your heart will break. But, they can be the most wonderful thing in the world- at a moment when you think you're almost running on empty. They can change a moment from being one you dread into one you hope you never forget. With a simple sentiment at bedtime such as, "I love you....Merry Christmas". In the middle of April, no less!

Nitty.Gritty. Wedding Song Game

I think the real winner in this whole thing is me! I got to "meet" some regulars here- thanks so much for your kind notes and for guessing too. We have a winner...Missy, you may email me your address and I'll try to get something in the mail before I take off for my weekend.
The song Chip and I danced to was "Fly Me to the Moon". I fell in love with it from the movie "Once Around" (Richard Dreyfuss and Holly Hunter), and on one of our dates Chip was whistling the tune as we walked along the hallway of a mall. I had just doodled the lyrics as I sat in one of my college classes earlier that day.
You know how when you're falling in love with someone, everything just seems so meaningful?! That song was it for me that day. Later on in life, it was one of the songs that Chip could sing to Teagan and she would calm down for him so well. As she grew up she learned all the words to it too. Funny how a simple song can hold such meaning.
Anyway, I'm glad to see that there are still a few of you out there reading Nitty.Gritty. Don't worry. I don't plan on shutting this blog down anytime soon- even if I stop getting comments altogether- I'm doing this first for me. You just happen to get in on the deal! If your comments link to a blog or webpage, I want you to know I check you out too. Sometimes I leave comments as well.
Thanks again to all my "new" blog fans. And congrats to Missy for getting the song right! Ciao for now.

Wanna play along?

I've noticed my "ratings" dropping off around here, and so I'm pulling out my big guns today. Are you ready to play along? Here's the jiggity-jig.
Be the first person to correctly guess the song that played while Chip & I danced our first dance as husband and wife. You may guess up to three different songs- but there's a small catch. You must NOT have commented on Nitty.Gritty. prior to this post- I'm looking to see if there are people out there reading, but not responding (besides you, Andy!) The winner gets a Nitty.Gritty. piece of mail and probably a tiny fridge magnet or something like that.
Just so you know, I read all my comments- so don't try to sneak in the game. Unless I hit 24 comments and nobody has answered correctly. At that point I will open it up to anyone who wants to play along. (I picked 24 comments because I've topped out my comments at 23 people so far.) Good luck and I look forward to "meeting" some of you!
***Edited***
Hubby thinks I've gone blog-insane to post a game such as the "wedding dance song" game, but I guess I'm okay with that. I know he still reads this and loves me the same- no matter what I write about.
So, I am now opening this silly game up to anyone who wishes to play along- and who doesn't think I'm as wacko as my hubby thinks that I am. You may guess once- because here's a big clue...We danced to a classic tune by Frank Sinatra. It was a tune that came up early on in our dating relationship, and it kind of just stuck out as the song for us that day. When I hear it at the weddings I work at, it always makes me smile!

Gearing up...

We had a happy Easter at our house this weekend. I am happy to say that although the chocolate bunnies and colored eggs are a fun touch, Easter has much more depth and meaning than that. I hope you found your celebration to be more than just enjoying food and family, even though that is a good thing, and were stirred inside at the thought of the deeper meaning of this holiday. For me it is a reminder of the HOPE that awaits me for all eternity- my religion celebrates a living God and Savior. It means that I pray to a God who hears me, cares for me, has a plan for me, and has a place waiting for me in heaven with Him someday. My faith is more than just going to church or doing good things in hope that I am counted worthy of getting into heaven someday. I hope that you already have this same hope and assurance through your faith. If not, I hope you will seek it with all your heart until God becomes as real to you as He is to me!
That's the meaningful stuff for today. The rest of my thoughts are consumed with my preparations for the rest of the week. Three days til I'm on my way to Alabama for my Scrap weekend! The tough part of the trip is all the stuff I have to do before I leave home. I'm the kind of person who likes to have all my bases covered- you know- the obsessive, over-thinking mom...that's me. I was thinking, if something happened where I did check out "for good" it would take a small team to fill my shoes. That's a good and bad thing. It makes me realize how much I do for my family- and I feel good about that; they deserve a lot of me- but it means doing a lot of extra work so that life runs smoothly while I'm away.
I've been having fun making little goodie bags for the ladies that will be teaching the scrap classes in Birmingham- you know, Elsie, Carrie Colbert, Heidi Swapp and Cathy Zielske. The fabulous four! I made a bunch of mini-magnets for each of them by pulling pictures and logos off their blogsites. I figure most of them probably have a magnet board somewhere in their scrap area- or at the very least they have a fridge that they can stick 'em on. Or they can give them away to someone who really wants them.
I guess I've got plenty on my Nitty.Gritty. to-do list this week. Wish me luck!!!

That special connection...

Twenty-nine years ago a young lady made a decision in her life that affected my life in a permanent and special way. I'm sure it was the most difficult decision of her life; one that has caused her to shed more tears than she can count. That woman is my youngest brother's birth mom. Jeff came to our family in a unique way. I believe it was planned out before the world began- so it was no surprise to God- but it wasn't totally unexpected in the lives of my parents and us as his brothers and sisters back in 1977.
My dad had recently sold a farm and given up his life as a dairy farmer in order to go to college and pursue a degree to do ministry- specifically as a church minister. My mom stayed home with my siblings and I- there were four of us ages 2-8. Needless to say, we had a very busy household and a full life. Or so we thought.
A simple phonecall to my mom in the middle of the day changed all that. The man on the phone asked if she would be home that night because a baby would be dropped off at our doorstep. My mom laughed, but went along with what she thought seemed to be a prank, and much to our surprise, in the middle of an April thunderstorm, late into the night there was a knock at the door and a man handed over a baby to my dad. He gave him a slip of paper and told him to contact by phone the lawyer written that note. That was it. My dad didn't ask questions.
Imagine the surprise and delight in our home when me and my sisters and brother woke to find a new baby in our house. I remember all the questions we had... "Where did he come from? Are we gonna keep him? What should we call him? Where did he come from again? I didn't know we were gonna have a baby!"
I was four years old at the time. I was so in love with babies and puppies and anything small and cuddly at that age. I "claimed him" as mine. My mom told us he may not stay with us forever, that his other mommy might come back and take him back to her home. She found me sleeping on the floor in front of his makeshift bed that second night he was with us. When she woke me to take me back to my bed she asked, "Jody, what are you doing sleeping here on the floor?" I matter-of-factly replied, "If his mom is going take him back she's gonna have to step on me first!"
Thankfully Jeff stayed in our home and lives for good. He has been a part of our family since he was five days old, although his adoption wasn't complete until he was 11 months old. I have always felt a special connection with my brother Jeff. He and I have shared a bond as brother and sister that isn't always typical. We never had the spats and fights and rivalry that a lot of brother/sister relationships have. We have laughed and goofed around and been good buds since day one.
This past fall Jeff married his beautiful wife, Marci and they have two wonderful kids, Rachel and Owen. Jeff's life has had its share of struggles, as well as joy and moments he has accomplished so much! I am proud to this day, to say that he is my brother. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it- he has added a dimension that although it wasn't planned or decided by my parents, has added much happiness to all our lives the past 29 years.
Today I say thank you to his birth mother, Robin, and I hope she knows deep in her heart that she gave us a gift we cannot put a price tag on. To Jeff, I say "Happy Birthday." I believe in fate and purpose and I'm so glad that God put you in our lives in a very special way. Best wishes for another year of happiness and joy! All my love, Girl.

It's not about the cardstock.

My blogging took a backseat to papercrafting yesterday. I know there are a lot of people who just don't "get" this thing I have with paper, plain or polkadot. But it's more than that to me. It's something that goes much deeper- back to kindergarten and first grade, when I remember being so proud of getting S+ and Os for grades in things such as cutting and basic art. It has to do with an inner characteristic that exists and gets jazzed up inside me when holiday times come around, or any other idea that comes to mind that can be recreated in reality.
For me the fun started when I realized I could pull out a bunny from my great big book of clipart and do something with the silouette. One thing led to another and before I knew it I had an arrangement of bunny cards ready to pop in the mail to say "Happy Easter/Springtime" to some of my family and various friends.
It makes me happy to make stuff- especially when that stuff includes Heidi Swapp photo corners and 3-D embellishments like the cottonball tail on these bunnies. Can't you just feel the love in these simple little cards?! You should, because Bella sat up with me gluing and cutting and "helping" until 11:30 pm. She's my budding obsessive crafter/artist, which of course, I will only continue to encourage her to pursue.
My point here today, besides mentioning how much I love mail, is that we all have something in life that we enjoy doing. As much as I am good at math, I'd go crazy sitting at a desk doing accounting all day long. Yet I know people who love that line of work. Others people love to compete- and they fuel themselves by preparing for sporting events. I get worn out just thinking of what actually goes into running a marathon!
One of the fun things for me to see through this blog is the diversity we all posess. Every person in this world has something to offer. Spring is the season of new beginnings and fresh starts. I encourage you to do something in your own life that taps into the thing that you "shine" at. That thing that gets your heart pumped just thinking about it. You know what it is in your life. Maybe you do it everyday- if you're lucky it's your job and you get paid doing what you love. Consider yourself blessed. If it's not your job and you haven't enjoyed your special talent or gift in life for awhile, I challenge you to carve out time in your schedule to do something that makes you happy- just because. It may be really simple- like my bunny cards- but it will do good for your heart and soul. And doing good things for my heart and soul always creates some sort of positive ripple effect in my life. Some of you will be getting some mail soon. I hope you enjoy the ripple.

Glitch and perspective...

Okay. There was a glitch in the system. Now it's back to normal, but at one point there were two of the same posts here. The second post wouldn't allow comments. Thanks to those of you for contacting me and sharing your thoughts by regular email instead!
Here's an update to my previous post just hours ago.
To keep my reality in check, Bella was in true form this morning. She did the whole run with her arms open for a hug this morning, but then things took a major turn from sweetness. She normally does very well in the bathroom by herself, but this morning as I helped her two sisters get changed and dressed, Bella took it upon herself to take her jammies off and then she proceeded to dangle the pants in the toilet.
I stepped around the corner of the door to check on her and this is what I saw. She looked up at me and said, "Um." I said, "Um....what are you doing?" (See Chip? Most moms would be freaking out yelling at this point. No. Not me. I just said, Um....what are you doing. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she had a really good reason to be sticking her pants in the toilet. Turns out she didn't- but the point is I could have lost it. Really. It would have been justified at 9:45 am. I just happen to have a high tolerance for obscure behavior and a bit of patience to boot.)
Bella just stood there. Then she said, "I'm cleaning my jammies." I said, "We don't clean our jammies in the toilet- ever, okay?" She hands the last dry corner of one pantleg to me and said, "Okay." Then I wanted to make sure that her 3-year old "Okay." meant, "Yes, Mommy. I totally get it. I will never stick my pants or any other clothes in the toilet again. Okay." So I tested her. "Bella, where will you never dangle any of your clothes again", I asked. "Um. I don't know", she answered. "In the toilet?" I suggested. "Oh...in the toilet." she replied. Once more, just because I wasn't so thrilled with the amount of coaxing I had had to do in the previous test, I tried again.
"Bella, is the toilet a place where you are ever gonna put your clothes inside? Think for a second about this. Do you think Mommy wants you to put clothes into the toilet?" "No, Mommy. It's not a great idea to put jammies in the toilet. You can clean 'em in the wash." I smiled. "Thanks Bella. You're so smart. Now Mommy is going to do some laundry. Is that a good idea?" She jumped up and down twice while saying, "Yeah!"
I'm so glad I can blog about the joys of parenting. Oh yeah. I love it all. Especially when you realize that your kid has just learned a valuable life lesson and it's not even noon yet. Love that!

Equal airtime

Being a mom, as all of you moms already know, is life's biggest juggling act. It is my standing disclaimer here at Nitty.Gritty. that I am not an expert or sometimes even qualified in this arena of parenting, I simply have a lot of kids- which means I am experienced and have a few good tips. On the good days I can come here and brag to the world in picture and in word. On the bad days I am doing everything within my power not to chop my own head off and give up. Of course it's a disgusting thought- and I would never come close to doing something like that for real (I'm much too cool of a mom for THAT!), but life gets harried around here at times. Even striking a yoga pose and humming a monotone note with my eyes shut while breathing through my nose wouldn't bring things back to normal at times. Yet there's something about kids that makes you want to try. To try to be great- even in the day to day.
So today I am giving Bella her rightful blogspace- as Brock had his pancake post and Ava and Wyndham had their recent spotlights as well. I've got friends and family who check here for pictures and updates- so I'm being "fair and balanced" as a mom. [Incidentally, if you like fair and balanced journalism, you can check out www.foxnews.com for more of that subject.]
I couldn't help but pull out a photo of Teagan at the same time I give you Isabella- so that you can see the striking resemblance they share for yourself. It still stops me in my tracks on occasion, when I find Bella with a certain look or mannerism that was so "Teagan" at that same age. While Bella will never fill her big sister's shoes, I do look at her at times as my sort of "bonus kid", in that Chip and I were not even remotely thinking of more kids in our life when we found out we were pregnant with Bella. I did pray long and hard for another girl once I found out I was going to have another baby...but believe me, I never expected to get one with so many shared features to Teagan. Bella has been a big reason I'm the person I am today- post tragedy- with happiness and joy in life. She has been one of the reasons I've wanted to breathe again and experience the goodness life still affords to me.
Although keeping up with her energy and enthusiasm for even the little things in life can be exhausting (like her not going to bed until roughly 10:30 - 11:30 most nights),I can't help but love everything about her. I love the way she comes running to me in the morning with her arms open wide to give me a tight hug. I love the glint in her eye; the way she smiles mischieveously when she's planning her next adventure. I love that when she's being scolded she says through her tears, "I want to be a nice girl". She has a big heart. She has the energy to match and it makes my job enormous and full everyday. Bella, along with the rest of the gang in my house, is the reason I strive to be my best. I don't deserve all I've been given. But I recognize the gifts in my life. And I a realize my good fortune of being a part of theirs everyday.

"She makes me want to be a better person"

I basically stole the title of this post from Jack Nicholson's line to Helen Hunt in the movie, "As Good as it Gets". But, you know, it's so true. For the rest of my life I don't think I can ever tell too much about Wyndham that I will tire of her story. How does a person get sick of talking about a miracle?! From age 3 weeks, Wyndham has had to fight for her life- literally at times. She's small in stature, but she makes up for it in perseverance and heart. I snapped these pictures over the weekend. They make me smile; I think they should make you smile- even if you aren't her mother.
You see, a year ago at this time Wyndham was only crawling on her hands and knees to get around. She could stand steady, only if she were leaning against a wall. She had just learned to climb up the stairs, but she couldn't go down the stairs. She was rarely letting us know if she had preferences of any kind. For example, if she were hungry, even though she knew some basic signs, she wouldn't let us know she wanted something to eat. She wouldn't fuss or cry or throw a fit. She would simply wait for us to bring it up or wait until mealtime.
These pictures give you a small glimpse of just how far she has come. She is in a wonderful rehab program and has therapy three times a week. (occupational, physical and speech therapy) All the hours she logs there are obviously paying off. Wyndham is walking independently, she is signing much more often, and in one picture, she even got her own little cup from the cupboard and poured herself a drink from the spout on the refrigerator. I was so proud of her! I wonder just how proud she is inside herself. I know she understands that she has certain limitations in life. What she'll never know is how much she inspires me every single day. Some people will never witness a miracle in their life. I get to live with one everyday. And sometimes it's nice to share my good fortune with people like you.

Weddings, weddings, weddings!

Good thing I love weddings, because basically from now until October I will be going to at least one wedding reception each weekend, and sometimes two! I work at a golf club which is host to these receptions and so I show up, help with last minute setting up, coordinate with the caterer and musicians, as well as tend bar. It is a fun job for me because I get to see how each bride has such different taste in decorations, formalwear and the cakes can be an event in themselves. So, if you find me slacking on the ol' Nitty.Gritty. blog on Friday and Saturday nights- most likely it's because I'm off watching the bridal party dancing up a storm or trying to keep the groomsmen from having too much fun! If you love looking at wedding stuff as much as I do you can click over to www.emilystreet.com for some couture veils; I also love thumbing through Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine for great design ideas- I look at how I can turn "wedding stuff" into "other stuff"...like party favors for a kids birthday or how I can talk my hubby into dressing in 60's or 70's vintage clothing along with me and the kids on location for a funky family photo. See the retro layout in the current Weddings issue for the effect I'm going for. And of course, if we ever do the "flashback family shoot" I will post photos here first! Now, I'm off to get ready for a wedding reception. How lucky am I?!

Why would you take advice from this face?

Money. Dinero. Moolah. Cash. Pounds. Francs... No matter what you call it, this stuff is a big part of the lives of most people in the world- particularly Americans. Why you would take my advice concerning money, I don't know. Maybe because I look a little bit like Suze Orman. I will say upfront that I am not trained in financial advising. I have strong opinions on money and how it should be handled- but I am not a professional in any way, shape or form as far as dollars are concerned. So what you read here should be taken as my opinion and regarded (or disregarded) as such.
I'm not sure if it's the fact that taxes are due soon, or what, but I've decided to post some of my personal Nitty.Gritty. thoughts on money here for you to read. First of all, I want to say that I truly believe that much of the way we feel about money in life comes from the way we were raised in it. My childhood experiences with cash- earning it, saving it, spending it, donating it- all of that influenced me deeply as to how I view it today. I was brought up with very conservative, traditional views of money. I opened a CD account and had a savings account by the time I was in third grade. I remember being so proud of the fact that I had my name printed on deposit slips with the logo from ZAPP bank. I did a lot of babysitting in my neighborhood and I earned quite a bit of money through junior high and high school. (I found waiting tables to be much more profitable than babysitting!)
After putting 10% in the offering on Sundays at church, most of the rest of my earnings I put into savings. I loved to watch my account grow. I got my first credit card when I was in 10th or 11th grade- I rarely used it, but my dad thought it would be good for me to establish a credit rating. I would buy gas for the car, or charge a few necessities when I was at Target, and then each month I paid off my full balance. Having a credit card was a pretty simple thing in my life. I don't even think I realized it could get me into trouble. I understood that I should only buy things in life that I could pay for in the end. I never thought to buy something "big" just to have it, or to pay for it over a series of months. If I really wanted a big item, I saved enough money for it and then purchased it, or decided if I really wanted to use some of the money in my savings account to buy it outright. That is how I did it for years.
Then reality hit as I had to take out a student loan as a senior in college. My money innocence came to a screeching halt as I learned what interest was...and not the kind I had been used to earning on those CDs I had put away as a kid. Life just sort of kept happening, and next there was an engagment, paying for wedding/honeymoon expense. Then came a monthly townhome payment, and car expenses and insurance. I had to sort of undo the concepts I had lived with for so long and accept the fact that sometimes you can't quite pay off a full credit card bill.
I grew to understand what "worry" had to do with money. Most often I brought it upon myself, and most often it was needless worry. The kind that I let affect my moods somedays, or that I tossed and turned about before falling asleep at night- only to find that each month it somehow worked out alright, and I would feel bad that I had even wasted time and spent energy worrying about this money thing.
So this is what has been on my mind off and on in recent days. The tragedy of my life has certainly affected almost everypart of my life- and I realized it even affected my attitudes and beliefs about money. I realize that I rarely "worry" about money anymore. Or at least not in the way I had before my life changed so dramatically. I've thought it about it alot. I don't think anybody has ever died directly because of money. They may have died because someone wanted their money, or that they owed a big gambling debt, or a host of other things- but that all happened as a result of the choices they made (or someone else made) concerning money.
I think I've learned that money is only as important as we allow it to be in our lives. I think that too many times people focus on money as the issue or matter at hand- when in reality there is a driving force behind that issue; usually it is not money-related at all.
I'm not here to solve money issues, or to tell you how to spend or save your cash. I simply am spilling my personal thoughts on this subject and maybe I will come back to this topic again sometime. I am happy to say that money doesn't control my life or {most of} the choices I make. It is a part of my life, but it doesn't affect how much sleep I do or do not get at night. It doesn't make me better than you, or less of a person to you. I hope I make good decisions with my money that enhance my life and make me a better person. Whether it means saving it, spending it, or giving it to other people or organizations that really need it. I think this world needs a money reality-check. The cool thing is that we can each start by looking at money in our own lives. Don't ask me to solve the problem of our nation's national debt! I don't claim to have the answer- just a little insight into what's important in this life. And for me it's not always money! You are more than welcome to agree or disagree with me on this topic. It's my Nitty.Gritty. dollar day today. That's all for now.

Appreciating the life you've been given~

Last night I was glued to the television until 1:00am- totally out of character for me to do so. I found myself mesmerized by a series of shows on TLC about pediatric specialists reconstructing faces and skulls of kids born with abnormalties or other various facial traumas and growth.
Having been through my own medical experiences I find these particular shows very engaging. In part, it makes me realize there are other people and families out there going through more than I. It also jolts me back in the reality of my own life- which sometimes doesn't look so glamorous in the day to day living on the inside of it.
This series of shows, "Born Without a Face" and "FaceMakers" showed me just how blessed I am with the condition of my kids- including Wyndham. It is inspiring to me to watch another set of parents living out what I have claimed to be true in my own life. That being- we don't always get to choose what comes our way, good or bad, but we have the choice to make the best of any situation. It is amazing to see the strength and the courage that people have when faced with the most difficult situations thrown at them. I'm not the only one who has walked a bumpy road in life and found ways to smile along the path. Click to read about Juliana's story or to see the picture of this little girl. She is a living reminder that joy can come in the midst of brokeness and challenge. I will think of her when I start thinking I have it so rough. Kind of makes one realize just how lucky and easy we have it in life...and too often we take it for granted. I hope you appreciate your life a little bit more today.

Inside the mind of a 2 year old...

I have struggled to get Ava to smile for me when I snap pictures of her for about the past year now. She turns her head away, closes her eyes, or just plain won't smile. Smart as I am, I am happy to say that I finally figured her out. At least as far as pictures go. I'm still trying to understand her recent fascination with dumping Lucky Charms out of the box and crushing them all over- usually on my bed. But, this picture thing is a non-issue now. Yep. After a year of fighting her for a smile I found that I simply have to take the picture when she is doing something she shouldn't be doing. Like jumping on the couch- or thinking of dumping the cereal. Then this little chi-chi is all smiles! Now I just need to work on my photography skills and we'll be golden!

"My mom is a fontaholic"

I didn't intend for this to be the follow-up post to my thoughts on Oprah yesterday, it just happened this morning so here it is for you today. In case it ever happens that I get dragged onto a show like "Dr. Phil", I will have proof in pictures, that my children didn't have an awful childhood.
I am hoping that my mothering will actually produce happy, well-adjusted, contributing members of society, but one never knows for sure. So, today when I mixed up pancake batter for breakfast I found myself AND all four kids in such a great mood that I not only made the enhanced pancake recipe off the side of the Bisquick box- I also poured the batter out into letters and shapes too. For you die-hard scrappers- you are probably smiling, like I was earlier, when I made the pancake collage and imagined the newest CK Pancake Batter Font. Like the Heidi Swapp Kitchen-Aid, it has not yet hit the market...but I've sure got the ideas flowing around here lately! Wait til I get home from my weekend Scrap Event!
Back to my thoughts on pancakes...
You never know if your kids are really getting all that you do for them and how much you would sacrifice in your life for the sake of their happiness and well-being. I was the person who never, EVER wanted kids- I think deep down I knew just how much was involved with raising great ones- and in my early twenties I decided I was not among the chosen who should take on such responsibilty. You should applaud me for being so young- and yet so in tune with my inner self and my abilities!
Flash forward 10/15 years and here I am asking my kids if they want their pancake letters "serif or sans serif". [I told you I was obsessed with fonts! It's just a part of me...it's a minor thing in the big picture of parenting- so just let it go for now.] I was thinking back to the memories I have of my mom making 'initial pancakes' for breakfast. It was something she did to make being a kid fun at that moment...and now I realize she did it because she cared about us having a great life. It takes maybe an extra minute or two in the overall scheme of breakfast. But in the overall memories of childhood it actually means so much more. I realized today, as I poured out the pancake batter in the shape of a star that I was so blessed with my family and all the things that made up my childhood experiences. I don't think I've been appreciative enough for how simple and yet, wonderful it really was. I had two parents who loved each other and my siblings so much. I can't think of a single time in which they fought or argued in front of us. They gave us rules and discipline and boundaries- and at the same time they gave us love and rewards and freedom.
I can only hope that as much as my kids enjoyed their pancakes at breakfast, that they will someday grow up to appreciate that it was more than just my love of letters and shapes. It was more than just my desire for them to have a good time at breakfast. It is my longing for them to recognize their value, worth and potential. And my dream for them to be able to live that out however they choose to do so. Yes, that's a picture of my son, Brock, enjoying his "B" pancake and strawberries...and playing GameBoy Advance too. And no, it's not even 10 am yet. I guess that's how balance looks in my home at breakfast at this point in my life. That's my Nitty.Gritty. thoughts on pancakes.

Learn something new everyday!

Here's hoping that this link works to send you over to the Oprah archives- so you don't have to go searching for it yourself. Oh yeah...been with blogger about 6 months now and am just getting the hang of adding links into my posts. Watch out for me now!

Whirlwind...

----Four years ago the furniture in my living room got rearranged so that Chip and I could sit down for a two hour interview with a producer from the Oprah Show. I had emailed a short note in response to the question posed on the Oprah website asking, "Have you forgiven a horrible crime?" I had no idea we would be taping video the next day...and then be whisked off to Chicago to share our story in studio with Oprah and her audience the next day. It all happened so fast. I do remember how gracious and courteous everyone of her staff were to me and my family. I remember how warm and genuine Oprah felt when we met her onstage for the first time. She seemed so sincere in what she had to say to us...it didn't "feel" like just a tv show.
I've watched our show "Incredible Stories of Forgiveness" several times since it originally aired in April 2002. I, of course, wish I could tape a do-over show now, four years later, having grown and experienced and lived- with joy again- because I think it would be a whole new story. I look so sad and serious- it doesn't even really look like me when I watch that tape.
I guess that it's a true testament that what we said about forgiveness and our ability to look forward to the rest of our lives was actually true in our hearts as well. I think there were people who doubted what Chip and I were saying back then. They didn't understand how we could truly forgive someone who claimed the life of Teagan. They didn't think that we would actually live out what we were claiming in our lives.
But here we are, four years later, and the fact that we were able to forgive and move on has been the singlemost important factor in finding purpose and joy and renewal in life. We believe, without a doubt, that we will see Teagan again in Heaven someday. We know that it wasn't fair that she was killed so young, and in the way she died. Yet, we found that forgiveness allowed us to start the healing process that our hearts so desprately needed after our tragedy. We found we weren't so consumed with anger about what happened. Sure, there are times when we look back and say we wish things hadn't happened the way they did. We were very happy and blessed with our lives back then. We have struggled and yelled and cried and hated our reality at times...but in those moments we've learned new things. We've learned that you can turn your pain into something positive. We've learned that if you are willing to believe, in the midst of hurt, good things can happen- they will. We've learned that life has it's dark moments- but they only last as long as you keep hanging on to them.
When I look back at all that has happened, I see that we've had choices all along the way- some of them have not been very easy choices to make. In each instance, when we've chosen the path of love or hope or simply looked ahead, instead of looking back, we've experienced growth, contentment and goodness. It's still amazing to me that we have that kind of power within ourselves- that we can in essence "create our own destiny." Chip and I had no idea we were "writing" a story that would one day be told to a global audience. We had no idea that simply saying you forgive someone, and then actually living the reality of those words could impact our own lives and countless others.
I am grateful, as I reflect on that opportunity that somehow came our way, through Oprah and her staff. It was a whirlwind doing the inhome video, shooting various places around our town, flying to Chicago and then being on stage with Oprah the next day. It happened so fast- and it was a wonderful experience. Especially now as I reflect upon it, years later, and see just how far we've come!
{If you'd like to see some highlights and a video clip of our show, go to Oprah.com and do a search using the words, Incredible Stories of Forgiveness} And I still remember being able to eat breakfast the morning we were headed to the studio to tape with Oprah. I had Vanilla Bean French Toast...it was warm and delicious! I can't believe that in itself didn't have me smiling on camera more- but I guess my emotions took over. You can bet I'd have some smiles if I were on Oprah today! That's my Nitty.Gritty. trip down memory lane for this Monday. Have a sweet one.

My take on the MasterCard Ad...

First date at Mall of America- Dinner Planet Hollywood/Movie "Mrs. Doubtfire"-cost...$90.00

Wedding & Honeymoon in Kauai, Hawaii....$9,000

Owning our first home....$78,000

Number of hours logged in hospitals for birth of 5 kids and other various traumas....feels like more than 78,000

Having you at my side as we walk life's journey together....Priceless.

Happy birthday to my best friend and husband, Chip. My life would not be the same without you in it- you've made me a better person in so many ways; you challenge me, laugh in the darkest moments with me, help me imagine our future and make me look forward to each new day. I can't think of anyone better suited for me than you. I love you with all my heart and wish you many more years of fun and adventure in this life. Happy, Happy birthday. {This is no April Fool's joke...it's all 100% true!}

Had to add this quick thought...

If you haven't seen God lately or heard from Him, it's probably not because He's not there. Most likely it's because you haven't been looking or listening. It still blows my mind everytime I think about how much God cares about little ol' me. That thought alone makes my toughest moments in life bearable. I couldn't walk through this life without Him!

Staying grounded.

Staying grounded in my life means that I have to connect with God and keep focused on what truly matters in my life. If you were to count the number of times that I whisper a prayer throughout my day, you would think that I was trying to earn my sainthood status. It's no secret here that I live my life in light of Heaven. I live knowing that there is an endpoint- that God created me for a purpose, that God wants my heart and my worship- which on any given day or at any moment- looks like different things. For me it doesn't just happen Sunday morning in church. In fact, sometimes during my week I worship more in my heart rinsing dishes as I load them into my dishwasher, than I do in my heart on Sunday morning.
Last night, after washing three little girls' hair, I plugged my keyboard into the outlet in front of the bathroom door, and worshipped God while they finished splashing in the tub for 20 minutes. The more they splashed, the louder I sang. They laughed and played and I imagined what it will be like to glimpse Heaven for the first time.
If you haven't imagined what Heaven will be like- I invite you to think about it at some point this weekend. Maybe some spring flowers are starting to pop out of the ground in your yard. Or maybe your life is so full of chaos and stress that you can't handle one more thing on your plate. I invite you to turn your focus to God for a few minutes and see life from a different vantage point. It's amazing to me how looking at life from God's point of view, can put my life back into place.
It puts a little spark into my day- even in the middle of wet bath towels and drippy kids. God will meet you anywhere. I think sometimes He even enjoys bathtime and doing the dishes with us. We just don't think to enjoy His presence here as often as we should. I wonder where He's gonna meet me in my day today?! Goodness knows I can use Him... that's what keeps me grounded.

I should get my own product line...

I must have a little bit of Scrap Etc Event on my mind, so bear with me. Actually some of you die-hard scrappers will probably be ready to head to heidiswapp.com to place your order for this item- I know what you people are like. If it's funky and new- you just gotta have it!
Hold on for a minute. This is just another design idea I made up in Photoshop this morning. If I had more time I would have done the mixer in a cool, custom pattern, but after yesterday's post I realize I have more important tasks at hand. I am totally digging the idea of designer kitchenaid mixers- even beyond the 240 colors that already exist. I can totally picture a turquoise/orange/green paisley print mixer on my counter. Or a brown and pink polka dot one. How fun would that be to make big batches of buttercream in?!!! And of course I would dig a matching Nitty.Gritty. mixer to go with my tumbler. That would take the cake.
In thinking about and learning some of what is involved with this scrap event I am attending next month I find I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. In a good way, I guess, but still a bit uncertain about what to expect. I love paper and embellishments and design stuff and even different kinds of adhesive... but I'm not really a scrap person at heart. I've only made 2 actual paper layouts in my life. I've done some digital scrapping and I've made plenty of handmade cards- but this event is going to be intense. Here's a good analogy to convey what I am feeling. I have logged a lot of hours in hospitals and ER visits the past few years, and I am fairly comfortable in hospital settings considering how many trips I've taken there. I know generally what to expect when I step through the doors of a medical facility. However, you won't find me performing surgery or even taking vitals. I'm usually more of an onlooker. That's how I feel about this event.
I can tell you that I'm excited about it. I know I'm going to have a great time. I just have this weird feeling other people will wonder what I'm doing there. I'm scared that I may get kicked out of class for not staying on task or finishing a project.
Speaking of project, someone commented that I look like Heidi Swapp- which I take as a major compliment~ so I think I might just make a t-shirt that reads "No. I'm not heidi swapp." =)
To all of you non-scrappers, maybe one day you'll understand all this designer-fun I'm having!!!

How do you do it?

I have had several nice emails that alude to the fact that I am some supermom that has it altogether. Today I am writing, first, to dispell any myths that you are believing to be true about me in regards to this matter, and secondly, to tell you where I am coming from and what drives me to do what I do. I hope you take this the way I intend it to come off- not as boasting....I am totally NOT boasting about myself. I simply want to share a little bit of how my life "works".
I am a busy mom of 4 kids at home, ages 7, 5, 3 1/2, and just turned 2. My 5 year old has developmental delays and special needs. So, that in itself, if you are at all familiar with child-rearing is a daily challenge and definitely a full-time job.
I have a great support system in my husband and nanny/friend at home. Chip and Rachael help me out in so many things- they carry a lot of the work load that comes from a busy home and schedule; I couldn't do what I do without them. I appreciate all the extra things they do, the little things- like dropping Brock off at school each morning or emptying the dishwasher at night- these things allow me to have my morning quiet time and blog time too.
After the death of my daughter, Teagan, I struggled with so many things as you can imagine, and one of the biggest things was that what had mattered in my life prior to our accident, suddenly lost all meaning. Things like vacuuming the floor, or making the bed. Really earth-shattering details, I know. I happened to have been raised by parents who took pride in our home and how we cared for our things and ourselves. Not in an obsessive or glamorous way, but we tried to keep our place neat- we didn't jump on furniture or let the dishes pile up in the sink, or have junk all over inside our cars. I was really torn after our incident- how the idea of homekeeping and self-care suddenly lost it's purpose. I struggled with finding some sort of balance between my grief and heartache, and the fact that life still had to go on.
I don't remember exactly what it was that realigned my focus; it was probably a combination of time, attitude, and my hubby pushing me to accept the reality of my life.
I realized at some point then, that there were things in my life that seemed meaningless, but they still had to be done. I decided one morning to look at my life as a job- meaning mothering and keeping house and all the routine that goes into that. I realized how much I missed Teagan and that nothing in my life was more important than being a mom and wife. I realized that God had given me my family and that in reality I was being who He wanted me to be. I felt like I was "working" for Him. I think it helped to refocus my priorities in life. I decided I was going to get up each morning and be the best person I could be that day, whether it meant making beds, meals and folding laundry, or giving a statment in court before the local judged handed down the sentence to the woman who killed Teagan. I thought about it this way- if I were working outside my home (which I do as an event coordinator at weddings), I would probably go to work and do my best each day. I would want to impress my boss and coworkers and feel good about what I was doing. I would probably try to earn bonuses or get meet goals...all in the best interest of myself and the people I would be working for. I translated these thoughts into what I was doing at home. Afterall, don't I love my husband and kids 100 times more than coworkers? Of course! So why not try to do my best for them each day?!
This is the attitude I live with each day. But it's important for you to know that I do not always have a perfectly clean home, or 100% happy kids {or hubby!}, or a giddy attitude about dust bunnies and piles of dirty laundry. What I have is satsifaction that I am doing my best and that it does matter, to God and to my family, how well I manage myself and our home. Somedays I would win "Employee of the Year award", and somedays I think I should resign from my position- I'm underqualified.
I do know that God gives me strength to do what needs to get done, He gives me the choice to do the work with a cheery attitude (or not), and He loves me even when I fail at my attempts to be a great wife and mom. I'll admit I still need to work on consistency- somedays I say, "There is more to life than crumbs, so let's just enjoy the moment"...and another day I'm about to go nuts if one more thing gets thrown on the floor. I'm a woman, I have hormones and good and bad days and all that stuff- so it's bound to happen.
The good thing is that each day is a new opportunity for me to do it all again~ this time even better! Now, I best go get my bathroom cleaned up and I think I'll start a load of laundry too!

Short & sweet

In case the suspense is killing you, I thought I'd be nice and tell you all that I have received several emails to my new inbox and so three of you lucky people will be getting some real-life Nitty.Gritty. mail. I have to go back to yahoo and check out those names- but in the meantime, if you still feel the need to send me email, you can still send your address, because you never know when I might send you something for no reason at all. Actually it would be because I just really like mail- plus some weeks I am short on good deeds...and sending random Nitty.Gritty. mail would be the ticket for me in that department.
That paragraph was supposed to be the [short] part of this post. Here is the [sweet] part. If you have toddlers you probably have had issues with foods they like or dislike. If they are anything like my kids- they love stuff with sugar in it. I am pleased to tell you that I came across something that contains NO SUGAR...and my kids will eat it. Get this! Their Hello Kitty Toothpaste has a note on the back side which says, "Contains no sugar." I am so glad to know this- first, that I haven't been scrubbing sugar into their teeth every night at bedtime. That is a load off of my mind. And second, I know my kids are developing good eating habits- I mean this stuff has no sugar and they'll eat it! By the way, don't worry and email me the hotline to poison control...these kids don't eat it every night, and when they do it is a pea-sized amount. Their health is not in jeopardy from brushing. As long as I'm on the topic of kids' eating habits- do you think we could start something- like banding together and as a group getting companies to create tasty and fun kids foods? I'm thinking in particular of Pop-Tarts. There are like a million flavors out there... and though they tout themselves as a breakfast item- these things barely, if at all, qualify for breakfast food. Don't get me wrong, I probably have at least two varieties in my cupboard right now, but among the hundred different flavors- about 3 of them are breakfast and/or healthy. Have you seen the latest? Like Strawberry Milkshake, Cookie Dough, or that new 'Retro Wild-Blue Smurfberry' one. (Okay, I admit, I made that last one up.) I guess where I'm going with this is how come they can't make a tasty stripey Broccoli/Cauliflower Pop tart? Or even a simple Peanut butter and jelly kind? I bet the moms would dig this stuff...and we wouldn't feel so bad about forcing our kids to eat their veggies.
Maybe there are some Kellogg CEO's who read blogs. They'd be smart to enter keyword 'Pop-Tart' and read through the post here.
I'm about through with this "quick" post now... and I have a weird craving for a Smurfy Pop-Tart! Gotta run!

Nitty.Gritty mailbox

It has come to my attention this past week that I have not been receiving all of my emails for some unknown reason. I feel badly about this and am wondering how many of you out there think that I am some sort of stuck-up snob who can't return a well-intended note. Honestly. I'm really not normally a jerk on purpose- except to the telemarketers that call me right at 5:08pm and my 4 kids are running circles around me practically gnawing my legs off because they just realized at 5:00pm sharp that they are famished. You know- it's probably been at least 22-26 minutes since they ate or dumped the last snack that I fed them on the floor- so they're really, truly hungry by 5:08!
Moreover, most of you know that I have a weird obsession with mail. I love getting it, sending it, decorating packages with big colorful return labels, waiting for it, reading it, rereading it...in short, I just like mail. It may be an obsession- but it's one that I have well under control- I am not even on any medication for it or anything. It's perfectly normal and healthy.
So, to feed this small obsession and to hopefully curb the problem of not getting certain emails, I created a new email account for myself today. I am excited to post my address here... and I hope that you are as excited to see it for yourself. In fact, I've decided that the first 3 people to send me email at my NEW EMAIL ADDRESS will get a personal, handwritten piece of Nitty.Gritty mail in their real mailbox. (Just make sure you include a home address for me to mail it to you.) How's that for excitement?! I don't know who should be more excited about this- you or me?!
I now present to you my newest email address: nitty.grittyjody@yahoo.com
Please note...the first three people to email me (not to leave a comment) will get Nitty.Gritty mail. I love and still accept comments too. But you already knew that! Now hurry up so that nobody else beats you in this little Nitty game. Go!
Oh yeah, one more thing to note. Of course I still have my other email account- chip2jody@hotmail.com. I intend to keep that open and active and I'll still check it about 6 times a day, as usual. You now have two choices when you really want to send me a note, and I now have two places to read online mail. Boy, first Scrap Etc. event and now TWO mailboxes. I wonder what great thing will happen next?!

I love...I mean, LOVE my husband's boss!!

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I think you should know that I love my husband's boss, because he is the real reason I just got registered and booked my flight to attend this event next month! Chip is headed to Ireland this fall, with his boss- to golf and enjoy the breathtaking countrysides. I wish them well...but more importantly, I get to attend this Scrap Event- just because they are going on their trip. Lucky, lucky me! I'm not going to Ireland- but I feel like the luckiest one here...and besides, my plane ride will be much shorter than theirs.
So, if you are remotely aware of anything inside this ever-growing scrap-industry, you will recognize some of the faces from this promo and should be excited for all these women, because next month they will get to meet me! How cool is that?! They are about to get a real-life dose of Nitty. Gritty. me. I bet they can hardly wait. As for me...well, let's just say this.
I've waited on John Walsh (America's Most Wanted) and Cindy Crawford (Mother and Supermodel), I've had my appearance with Oprah, and now THIS.
What's next for me? I should check with my agent. Actually I just got confirmation that I will be rooming with 'Knitnpurlgirl' at the event. So, for the next few weeks I don't care how many times I'm caught singing the Gidget theme song or sweeping Lucky Charms off the bed...I know in my mind things are okay with my world.
I'm going to Scrap Etc Event. Yea for me!

Post 100!

Wow! I made it...this is the official 100th post to Nitty.Gritty. I guess I've had more than to say and show you and entertain you all with than I realized several months ago when I started this whole thing. I don't exactly know what I intended this blog to be about or to do for me personally- but it's been great! Really. Your comments make me laugh, or think or click or your blogs and learn about your lives. It's fun and interesting too.
I don't know what it is that makes so many of you keep coming back here. I mean, I talk about stuff like my kids and the stuff they do, like Ava yesterday. She dumped out two bowls of cereal all over my bedroom- no kidding- the bed, the floor, under the dresser...and then walked around stepping on the "crunchies". I was throwing laundry in the wash and trying to make zucchini bread. I thought she was munching breakfast in front of the 'Backyardigans'...nope. When hubby stopped home for a minute [unexpectedly] he sees me (mind you, I was sporting a hankie in my hair and looking a little disheaveled at this point) and says, "Hi Beautiful! What's up?" I smiled back and said, "You said 'Beautiful' a bit sarcastically, and if you really want to know what's up, I just grounded Ava from Lucky Charms until she's at least 8 years old."
I've written and posted pictures from my real life and you still keep coming back here. I told some people earlier this week that we really have become a 'reality-tv obsessed' culture. And blogging, to me, is sort of like that. I think this works because not everyone is interested in the latest Hollywood celebrity breakup, or what kind of drama is playing out in the NBA or even what the media is doing to twist the truth about politics in our nation's capitol. Don't get me wrong... I stay informed; I know what's going on in the world- but it's refreshing to just hang out among other "normal" people and watch their lives unfold and read nonfiction about life.
So, I hope for the next 100 posts to give you more of what you've already found here.
Nitty.Gritty.
Unedited, unscripted, and occasionally interesting and thought-provoking too. And don't worry, I'm not really grounding Ava from Lucky Charms for the next 6 years of her life. Maybe the next 6 weeks- after all, I believe that the punishment should fit the crime! Have a happy, 100th-post inspired Friday.