How do you do it?

I have had several nice emails that alude to the fact that I am some supermom that has it altogether. Today I am writing, first, to dispell any myths that you are believing to be true about me in regards to this matter, and secondly, to tell you where I am coming from and what drives me to do what I do. I hope you take this the way I intend it to come off- not as boasting....I am totally NOT boasting about myself. I simply want to share a little bit of how my life "works".
I am a busy mom of 4 kids at home, ages 7, 5, 3 1/2, and just turned 2. My 5 year old has developmental delays and special needs. So, that in itself, if you are at all familiar with child-rearing is a daily challenge and definitely a full-time job.
I have a great support system in my husband and nanny/friend at home. Chip and Rachael help me out in so many things- they carry a lot of the work load that comes from a busy home and schedule; I couldn't do what I do without them. I appreciate all the extra things they do, the little things- like dropping Brock off at school each morning or emptying the dishwasher at night- these things allow me to have my morning quiet time and blog time too.
After the death of my daughter, Teagan, I struggled with so many things as you can imagine, and one of the biggest things was that what had mattered in my life prior to our accident, suddenly lost all meaning. Things like vacuuming the floor, or making the bed. Really earth-shattering details, I know. I happened to have been raised by parents who took pride in our home and how we cared for our things and ourselves. Not in an obsessive or glamorous way, but we tried to keep our place neat- we didn't jump on furniture or let the dishes pile up in the sink, or have junk all over inside our cars. I was really torn after our incident- how the idea of homekeeping and self-care suddenly lost it's purpose. I struggled with finding some sort of balance between my grief and heartache, and the fact that life still had to go on.
I don't remember exactly what it was that realigned my focus; it was probably a combination of time, attitude, and my hubby pushing me to accept the reality of my life.
I realized at some point then, that there were things in my life that seemed meaningless, but they still had to be done. I decided one morning to look at my life as a job- meaning mothering and keeping house and all the routine that goes into that. I realized how much I missed Teagan and that nothing in my life was more important than being a mom and wife. I realized that God had given me my family and that in reality I was being who He wanted me to be. I felt like I was "working" for Him. I think it helped to refocus my priorities in life. I decided I was going to get up each morning and be the best person I could be that day, whether it meant making beds, meals and folding laundry, or giving a statment in court before the local judged handed down the sentence to the woman who killed Teagan. I thought about it this way- if I were working outside my home (which I do as an event coordinator at weddings), I would probably go to work and do my best each day. I would want to impress my boss and coworkers and feel good about what I was doing. I would probably try to earn bonuses or get meet goals...all in the best interest of myself and the people I would be working for. I translated these thoughts into what I was doing at home. Afterall, don't I love my husband and kids 100 times more than coworkers? Of course! So why not try to do my best for them each day?!
This is the attitude I live with each day. But it's important for you to know that I do not always have a perfectly clean home, or 100% happy kids {or hubby!}, or a giddy attitude about dust bunnies and piles of dirty laundry. What I have is satsifaction that I am doing my best and that it does matter, to God and to my family, how well I manage myself and our home. Somedays I would win "Employee of the Year award", and somedays I think I should resign from my position- I'm underqualified.
I do know that God gives me strength to do what needs to get done, He gives me the choice to do the work with a cheery attitude (or not), and He loves me even when I fail at my attempts to be a great wife and mom. I'll admit I still need to work on consistency- somedays I say, "There is more to life than crumbs, so let's just enjoy the moment"...and another day I'm about to go nuts if one more thing gets thrown on the floor. I'm a woman, I have hormones and good and bad days and all that stuff- so it's bound to happen.
The good thing is that each day is a new opportunity for me to do it all again~ this time even better! Now, I best go get my bathroom cleaned up and I think I'll start a load of laundry too!