Remembering scars as we face an unknown future...

None of us knows what the future holds. We can plan, we can prepare, we can take control of our finances and set aside time and energy for tasks we have to accomplish and we can set goals and pour all of our energy into reaching them and making them our reality. But the fact remains that none of us knows what the next moment, hour, day, week or year holds for us. Sometimes we are heading down one path when life suddenly takes us on a u-turn. Sometimes we feel like we have it planned out perfectly, and then life throws us the unexpected.

I have been thinking and praying for a young woman I've never met for a month now. October 1st, 2011 was the date that Samantha and her fiance, Chad, had chosen and dreamed and prepared for and been excited about for months. Tragically, less than 36 hours before their wedding day arrived, Chad along with Samantha's brother who was to be a groomsman in their wedding, were killed when the best man lost control of the SUV they were riding in and the vehicle crashed. I learned of this tragedy because Chip's golf club was to be the reception site for their wedding celebration. The families and communities were stunned and filled with sorrow at such a tragic event. I could only imagine how Samantha felt then, and now- one month later.

The dress that she so carefully selected and had fitted, I imagine just hung there bringing more tears as she looked at in light of her pain. Rather than be the dress of her dreams, it now represents shattered dreams and probably brings a flood of tears at a simple glance of it.

I have prayed and prayed for God to pour out His peace and comfort and mercy at this time when no person, no thing, no act can bring a comfort to her hurting heart and the hearts of the family and friends that surround her.

They are broken, grieving, scarred and hurting.

It got me thinking about the time in our lives when we too felt such sorrow, sadness and pain in our lives. I pulled out the above picture of Chip, which was taken about a week after our inital tragedy at the Old Depot- this was August 2001- the place was Hurley Hospital, Flint, Michigan. I had never seen Chip so wounded and scarred before. Just days earlier we were a happy, thriving family of 5 with a big, bright future ahead of us. We had no plans to be side-tracked by death, fractured ribs, brain injuries, internal trauma, muscle and nerve damage and hearts that would hold their own wounds from sorrow and loss.

Our life took a u-turn and we found ourselves in a world we never imagined or dreamed.

* * * * *

In my morning devotional today I read {and shared on my FB status} these words:

"It is God's presence that gives us true comfort, not the absence of affliction". There is such power and truth in that statement. Read it through once more, and let it sink in.

Do you believe that?

If you don't, do you believe that it could be true in your life somehow- sometime?

It can.

I am actually grateful to have the few photos that my mom snapped while we were "at our worst" physically and emotionally from our time in ICU. Seeing the pictures and scars and how tremendous our injuries were gives me a reality check. When I think back to this time in our lives I can still remember how much it "hurt". In every sense of the word. I have never felt more pain than during that time of our lives. But during those same long days and sleepless, painful nights and all the healing that had to take place to even be functional again, we both felt an overwhelming peace and comfort in our hearts that we had never experienced before. We never felt it when life was going splendid.

We felt it when our hearts and bodies were torn and we literally had our lives shattered by pain and grief.

God was there.

He never let us go.

In fact, He helped carry us when we had no strength of our own to keep us going. He held us together when we felt like falling apart and giving up. He poured out His mercy in our lives as we needed to draw on Him to be able to extend grace and forgiveness to the one who had brought us so much pain. He gave us Hope for our future and even laid it on my heart to want joy in life again.

I clicked through and pulled out a few pictures of how we look now. Our scars have healed quite nicely, with the exception of Wyndham's disabilities and ongoing needs. We have added 4 kids to our family since our tragedy struck. We have smiled and laughed again. We have known happiness, peace, comfort and joy.

But not because we had some supernatural abilities. But because of His power and strength that helped us move on. We have a future ahead of us that is filled with unknowns and unexpected events yet to come. I know that we can face them with peace and even with excitement, because we have seen the way God has already worked in our lives and we know that He will see us through whatever else may come our way.

I am so glad that God spared Chip's life and Brock's life and Wyndham's life and even my life, because through our scars and pain we have come to understand His healing powers that much more. We have learned firsthand that God doesn't abandon us when our hearts are torn and laid open with grief, but instead, that is the time when He gently picked us up and gave us new eyes to see Him and we felt His embrace like no other. His comfort was real then. I have faith and trust that it will be real as we walk forward too.

He is a God who loves, who protects, who turns mourning into dancing again.

My prayer is for this Samantha, to know this same grace, love, mercy and healing. And maybe one day she will look back or recall shattered, broken dreams- not with heartache and pain- but with the reality that God was big enough and gracious enough to turn it all into something beautiful that she never could have dreamed.

Maybe you are facing a future that scares you or maybe you are recalling a past filled with pain and "scars" of your own. My prayer for you is that you will call out to God and give your hurts and uncertainties to Him. He will never let you down and more likely than not, you will find that His plan blows you away. Our scars may always be with us to a certain degree...but our future is bright always. Because He is our eternity!