Thursday, March 18, 2010

She got her wish.



If she were here with us, Teagan would be turning into a teenager today. It's her 13th birthday. We were privileged to be able to spend 4 birthdays with her here on earth. Several times in the days after she turned four she would say, "I just want to be 4 forever". I questioned her and tried to talk her out of such a wish. I told her about lots of fun and beautiful things that life held for her as she would grow up into a lady.
It was simple wish and one I never imagined would actually come true. But it did. I sometimes wonder if her heart and soul were connected to Heaven from the beginning. I tend to believe the answer is yes. I will never fully understand and especially on days like today, it hurts and the wounds of grief feel fresh again. To miss her is one thing. To wonder how things might be is another. And the process of surrendering and accepting this reality of ours continues.
Even as my heart aches, I still have a peace and a comfort in my heart. Teagan got her wish and it changed me. I am glad that our spirits are forever connected- no matter how long or how far apart we are. As she celebrates today in Heaven, and we remember her here on earth, I am glad for the Hope we cling to- that we will be together again someday. It makes me realize our hearts aren't that far apart afterall.
She might have been turning 13 today... but I will always remember her as four. She got her wish; as heartbreaking as that is, it also brings me a certain Joy too.
Teagan will always be the love of my heart.
Happy Birthday to the little girl who changed my heart and life forever...
even at the age of 4.

24 comments:

Beckypdj said...

Happy Birthday Teagan.

65 Roses for Marcia said...

Thinking of you...

Tonya said...

Bless your heart Jody! Wishing your girl a happy birthday and praying for you!

Dave and Amy Carroll said...

happy birthday teagan. jody- thank you for being so open and honest in your blog. it's encouraging to see other christians work through life with the hope of christ. blessings-amy

Susie (So Blessed) said...

Praying for your family today, Jody, as you celebrate the precious 4 years you had with your beautiful daughter.

Lori V said...

Jody~ My thoughts are with you today. I have a daughter who is 4 and I can't imagine not having her with me, my heart goes out to you, Chip and your family!

Jennifer said...

Thank you for sharing Teagan with us. She brings joy + tears all at once. Sending you love.

Lesley said...

Bless you.

Erika said...

Happy Birthday Teagan! You have forever made the world a better place because of your beautiful, four year life. Jody, sending you lots of hugs today. (((hugs)))

Cathy said...

Happy Birthday Teagan. Thank you for being YOU Jody. Even though we don't really know each other - I have been touched by your blog for years. You are the perfect blend of remembering and living. I am so glad I "know" you.

Anonymous said...

i choose to think that her wishing to be "4" forever is God's way of letting you know that she is happy. i remember being 4 and it was so much fun.
Happy Birthday, Teagan!
God Bless you Mom and Dad!
sweet thougths for your children, too!

Lisa D :) said...

Happy Birthday sweet Teagan. How beautiful your birthday celebration with Jesus must be!

Jody and Chip you're in my prayers always, but especially today.

Kathy said...

Jody, thank you so much for posting today. I know it has to be hard. I hope this will warm your heart....A good friend of mine delivered her 5 lb. 2oz. baby girl today and named her Teagan. I knew a few weeks ago that she had decided on that name, and I thought about you because of your Teagan. I had no idea that today was your sweet girl's birthday as well. I will forever have a special place in my heart for both Teagans!!
Many blessings,
Kathy

darcie said...

thinking of you today and wishing your sweet sweet girl a happy birthday - love from Minnesota -
xoxo - darcie

Rachel said...

Thanks for sharing these precious pictures of your beautiful girl and your heart with us. Praying for you and your family as you remember Teagan today. May God bless you with precious memories that have not come to mind in a while. May he give you peace and comfort in trusting His plan for her life. May He bless you with Hope as you realize how many people her life is still touching.
Hugs and Prayers
Rachel in TN

Allie in AZ said...

Oh Jody, your words are so moving, your feelings so inspiring. So sorry that precious Teagan's life was cut so short, she was a strikingly beautiful little girl, and so wise beyond her years! Wishing you God's peace that passes all understanding and His comfort and care today. Praying for you, Chip, and the kids today.
Love,
Allie in AZ

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Teagan. Keeping you and beautiful family tucked in my heart! Thank you for sharing your life stories with us. :)

sherry said...

What a difficult thing to endure, losing a child. Obviously it has helped to create who you are and how you reach so many others in this world. You could have let it all go tho, but you have chosen to glorify God and to honor Him...to be a witness of life and it's realities....You are amazing!!!! I always become inpsired when I read your words!!!!
I pray that the sadness is less than they joy as you think about and reminisce about your precious girl!!!
Your little 4 year old!
Love & Blessings!
XO<3

polly's path said...

thinking of you and the whole family.

Jen said...

love you, jods. thinking of you today.

Anonymous said...

just..... WOW!!!

lisalyn said...

Thinking of you today. God Bless.

pakosta said...

What a lovely, heart-breaking, but beautiful post. She certainly was a beautiful darling girl. HUGS>
tara

Becca said...

Happiest of heavenly birthdays to Teagan!

I love you Jod--thinking of you and praying for you daily.

xoxo.