Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A mother remembers. {Long, detailed post}


"Because of you I have laughed my loudest, cried my hardest and searched the deepest part of me. I have realized my weaknesses and discovered new strengths. I have shared my soul with others.
Because of you I have learned to live in the moment and appreciate the present. I have learned to be quiet and reflect on the past. I have gained new insights and sought new purpose in life. I have learned when to hold on and learned to let go. I have learned to embrace what I cannot see and I have deepened my faith in the future.
Because of you I am more grateful, more humble, more sensitive and more forgiving. I am more open, more joyful, more confident and more hopeful. Although you only physically touched me for four short years, your spirit still inspires me each and everyday.
Dear Teagan~ My life is enriched beyond measure...because of you."

That's the journaling for the layout pictured here today. March 18, 1997 she was placed in my arms as she took her first breaths. My heart and life were forever changed from that moment on. I found new purpose in my life. Teagan made my heart want to burst and my selfishness suddenly was put in its place when she entered my world.
I never dreamed there would come a day less than four and a half years later when my heart and life would forever change because of her again. July 29, 2001, I woke her up and brushed the hair back from her neck as she slowly opened her eyes. There was cold air rushing into her room from an open window, so I tucked the blanket up under her chin and kissed her. She looked up at me with her amazing blue eyes and smiled and said, "I love you, Mommy". I wanted to crawl in next to her for a long morning snuggle, but that was not to be. Chip was ushering at early church that day, so I instead told Teagan to warm up for a quick minute and then it would be time to get ready for church.
She was so agreeable that morning. It wasn't like her to be so easy-going... especially when wakened early. But that morning was different. I didn't know it then, but I do now. Even when I pulled her dress over her head and then brushed her hair, she was just being so sweet. I tied a ribbon in her hair and then pulled her close to me and held her hands in mine and said, "Teagan, you look more beautiful than I've ever seen you look!". She smiled and said, "I know".
And then we were off to church. Chip, me, Teagan, Brock and Wyndham. After church Chip asked if we wanted to go to brunch. He suggested The Old Depot restaurant. We'd never been there before, but he said he heard they had the best pie around. Who was I to argue with the idea of a great piece of pie?!
We headed the opposite direction we normally took and had hardly driven a mile or two and Brock started acting up in the car. We shrugged it off, but by the time we got to the restaurant we had scolded him a couple of times and Chip even commented, "If you don't settle down I'm going to turn the car around and go home". I turned to Chip and said, "Teagan's being an angel...this brunch is going to go fine".
Moments later we were seated at our table and a nice family meal was underway. Teagan sat at the end of the table because when we walked in she said, "I want to sit by everyone". Wyndham was strapped into her infant carseat and for some unknown reason that day I kept the straps buckled.
Teagan ordered chocolate chip pancakes served with a side of peanut butter. She was sipping creamer of a glass coffee mug and talking with Chip as our meals were served. A moment or two into our meals I was suddenly thrust into the air and heard crashing and banging and I began to scream Chip's name. It seemed as though debris was coming at me for several minutes and then suddenly there was a loud 'bang' and I felt my body slump to the floor. I jumped to my feet in an instant and there was dust clouding the air, but I could see Teagan just a step or two to my left and she was lying down where her chair should have been. I scooped her up- even though I know you're never supposed to move an injured person. I couldn't help myself. I turned and carried her out a gaping hole in the wall and walk several paces before laying her down on the ground. Her head was bleeding severely from the back. As I placed her down I noticed her lips were turning gray and her skin looked pale. But she looked beautiful besides that. She had no scrapes or marks in those moments. I was surrounded by people within seconds. Someone began to do CPR on her as I stood up and ran back through the hole in the front wall. I saw a car. A woman sat inside looking straight ahead. I started yelling Chip's name again. I couldn't see Brock or Wyndham or Chip. I could feel my heart starting to pound at that point.
I turned and walked quickly back outside and stood over Teagan's body. I told the strangers around me that the rest of my family was missing inside. I leaned down and held Teagan's hand again. It felt cold and I remember saying over and over, "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Help."
I back into the building at least 3 or four Italicmore times. Each time feeling more deperate than the time before. On my final time I bent down to peer beneath the car and all I saw were man's legs in khaki pants. Chip had on tan pants when we went to church that morning, so I just knew it was him. I was about to run to the front of the car when a man grabbed me and started pulling me back yelling, "We're going to flip the car...you have to get out." He let go of me and I started toward the front of the restaurant and noticed the woman in the car then unbuckled her seatbelt, picked up her purse and she got out.
I walked over to Teagan again and said to her, "You can go if you have to Sweetie"...just like I'd seen in the movies. Someone offered me a chair to sit on next to her at just that time and as I sat down I noticed my back was throbbing and my feet felt like they were on fire. I looked down but saw nothing wrong. My injuries were all internal. I was bleeding inside, and also had a huge cut on my heel, but there was so much dirt and debris inside of it that I didn't even notice I was bleeding.
I heard crying. Someone was bringing Brock to me. He had dirt all over his eyes- I held him on my lap and asked someone if I could use their cellphone to make some calls. I called my parents. They weren't home. I called my sister. She thought it was some kind of joke. Chip's parents weren't home either. But his sister answered. She thought it was a prank call too. But there was a strange urgency in my voice that both of them found ways to get in touch with our families.
Chip came walking out of the hole in the front wall/door and I heard him calling my name. My back was to him as I sat on the chair holding Brock. I turned and thought I was imagining the whole scene. His head was gashed open across his forehead and cheek. Blood dripped down his face and his tie was flung over his shoulder. "Chip", I said quietly. "Chip...Teagan doesn't look good. She's not going to make it." Then someone had Chip sit down in a chair. Next someone was carrying Wyndham's carseat to me and she began to wimper. Her eyes were shut, but I heard her crying. I looked over my shoulder as Teagan continued to receive CPR and I knew then and there that there was no hope for her.
I had no idea what the extent of the rest of our injuries were at that point, but I was feeling an odd sense of calm that God was in control. Just a few moments earlier I thought I had lost all my family. Now I sat there feeling the early stinging pain of muscle/tissue and nerve damage, but none of that mattered. I felt relief that my family had a chance.

Today, July 29, 2009, eight years later those moments are still so vivid in my mind. I type through tears, head pounding and heart racing. I will never forget that unspeakable scene; the unimaginable situation that thrust my life in a whole new direction. I write all this for me...it feels right to put it down somewhere. Eight years feels like the blink of an eye. I can still "feel" how Teagan felt in my arms when I carried her out of the building that day. I can still "hear" the sound of the 'whoosh...BANG' as the car first crashed through the wall and then fell to the ground. I still think of how there was no warning- we were eating a meal with never a thought of danger and there weren't even any windows so nobody even saw the car coming. I still remember the icy stare of the woman who drove the car as she sat just a few feet away from me watching the horror of the traumatic scene behind me.
I remember the ambulance ride. It felt like it took hours to get to the hospital. I was one of the last injured to leave the scene and I couldn't stop wondering what I was going to do when they finally let me see Teagan.
That wouldn't happen for hours. She was airlifted downstate and I continued to be treated at our local hospital for lacerations and x-rays. They brought my bed (I was on a backboard) next to Brock's and told me that both he and Wyndham would be airlifted to Hurley as well. When I was finally stitched up I was placed in a wheelchair and brought into Chip's ER area. We just looked at each other. I don't think I had any words to say. Even as one who is always too wordy. My eyes filled with tears and Chip mustered some half-smile as his own face was being stitched, and he said, "It's going to be okay". A doctor came in a few moments later and said he had received an update on Teagan's condition. "As a father of two kids myself", he said, "I'm not going to lie to you. It doesn't look good". I think both Chip and I knew what he meant.
It meant our hearts and lives were changed again.
Because of her.
Our little blond-haired, blue eyed, rambunctious, smart, funny, adorable, always ready with something funny to say, or a hug or kiss to give you, was gone. She was hooked up to life support for the next 24 hours or so and we found ourselves talking to people about donating her organs and we were surrounded by many family members the last time I held her hand and pinky promised to love her forever. One would think that would be the worst moment for any mother to endure. Yet I write here- even 8 years later- recalling the sense of peace and calm I had in my heart. My head felt like it would burst, but my heart never felt more assured that everything would be okay.
I cannot begin to tell you exactly what faith is. I write about it alot here on my blog. What I can tell you is that my faith in God never felt more real and more 'right' than it did in those couple of traumatic days in the ER with all my family clinging to life. If there is nothing more to life than just "this"...this living that we all do, well then, for me and my family, life is just a cruel hoax.
Beyond what the Bible says, and I believe it is true and can be trusted, I 'know' in my heart that there is a God and there is a Heaven (and a hell) and one day-because of the death of Christ on the cross and my belief in the forgiveness of my sins because of his death- I will be reunited with Teagan again. One day all the pain and suffering I have lived through forgotten and all the tears I have shed will be wiped away. One day God will redeem the brokeness of my heart and Chip's heart and countless others and we will rejoice and be whole once again.
My faith through this tragedy, has been nothing but strengthened from day to day. I have asked tough questions and cried and shouted and wished things were different and I've wanted Teagan back along with "the way things were". But I can honestly say through all the years of missing her I have never doubted that God loves her, me, us and others and He can even use this ugly situation for His purpose in life. He can bring beauty out of our brokeness. He has carried us through our darkest hours. One day I look forward to falling on my knees at His feet and saying, "Thank you".

57 comments:

Allie in AZ said...

Reading this post through my tears...

My heart aches with you the loss of your precious Teagan. I also rejoice with you in the knowledge that she lives in the arms and care of our Saviour.

He IS using this to His glory. You are strong enough and brave enough to let Him, to surrender your control and to continue to praise Him through this. You are incredible.

Teagan was just beautiful. We, here on Earth, are worse off for not having her here still with us, but her story is reaching untold masses.

Thank you for sharing her story. Thank you for sharing your continued faith and love and trust in our Redeemer. You, Chip, Teagan, and the rest of your precious kiddos are quite an example to the rest of us.

Sending my deepest sympathy as you deal with yet another year without your precious, darling, blonde angel.

Monica said...

Dear Jody,

First, I want to let you know that you are in my prayers. I don't post often but I know that this date has been growing closer and you have been on my mind often.

My son is was born less than a month before Teagan, so her story hits very close to home for me. I love hearing about her, seeing her photos and appreciate that you have shared her story and her life with us. She is such a beautiful girl, and is lucky to have not just a wonderful mother, but a wonderful family.

Hugs to you Jody...and thank you for being an example for the rest of us in so many ways.

Michelle said...

I have no words Jody... just please know that I have been keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I know how hard this month and especially today is for you.... I pray for you and your heart and that you will get through this specially tough day.

P/S: I'm not great with words like you are, but I hope you know that I love you and wish I can be there to give you a great big HUG!

corinne5 said...

I too have no words while tears are streaming down my face. I can´t even imagine th epain you have gone through by losing a child. I also felt the peace and calmness one day when I went to say goodbye to my boyfriend who died a few days before that and it is almost not put into words how the lord gave me this feelingof peacefullness inside that it is going to be ok. I have to tell you it was one of the best feelings I ever felt in my life.
thank you for sharing this Jody, love you!

corinnexxx

Janet said...

You are so brave! God bless you and your precious family, especially today! With love from South Africa xxx

alles is anders said...

No words can explain..this is beautiful and painful to read, thanks for sharing, wishing you a lot of happiness and fulfillment, you are doing so well and are truly remarkable for sharing your life lessons with us so that we, as well, can learn. Annemarie

Claire said...

Oh my goodness. What a story, what a mother, what a family, what a beautiful girl. I'm so glad I found your blog today. I'll be praying for you. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Cxx

mandiegirl said...

Praying for you and your family today, Jody.

Jenna said...

Jody, thank you so very much for sharing this with us. I am just praying today for God to be near and for you to feel His love. Teagan was a doll and she is touching every person who reads this blog in a such a deep way. I am glad to be one of them! We are all better for knowing your family. With love, Jenna

Michelle said...

Jody, Thank you for sharing with me. Your blog encourages me that no matter what I am enduring... God is still here. I cannot imagine what you have gone through and my heart just aches to read your words because it is every moms worst nightmare... and yet you have allowed God to use it for His glory because He has given you hope and a future. Much love from TX today, You are in my thoughts and prayers as we start out this day. Michelle

Anonymous said...

Oh Jody! I so appreciate your sharing a Mother's-heart here and as I type, I too have tears streaming down my face. The song about God always never letting go is one of my favorite worship songs but the words have new meaning in reading your description of that day. Teagan's short life has got to be making a HUGE difference in your sharing here. Only in Eternity will you know to what extent!!
Blessings to you, Chip and the rest of your family!! Thank you for your transparency!! Thank you for the boldness of sharing your faith! My deepest continued sympathy to you as well.....
WSL

Beckypdj said...

Thank you for sharing your story. As a mother whose son is in Heaven, I know how beneficial it can be to have writing as an outlet. It also helps others to read of our faith. We serve a mighty and loving God.

Hugs to you today and everyday.

cwa said...

I have never left you a comment before, but I should have, because I have often lifted your family up in my prayers. Your blog is the first blog I ever read. I stumbled upon it while googling "scrapbooking" about a year and a half ago. I know now that it was a God thing. He led me to you and I have been returning ever since.

My heart aches from the pain I know your family is feeling today. When our daughter was 4 years old we were in an auto accident. She was critically injured. I know the fear and pain of carrying the limp body of your precious child in your arms while searching for help. I understand the faith and courage it takes to tell her that it is okay for her to go on ahead to heaven and wait for you, because I did that too.

No one thought our daughter would survive, but miraculously she did. Our lives were changed in that instant though. The path we are on now is very different than before the accident. It rips my heart out every time I think about what happened to us, and how everything in our life was changed in a split second.

Today I pray for you and I cry with you. I can only imagine how much grief you bear everyday, but especially today. Life is full of mysteries and tragedies. I so often wish God would reveal to me why they occur. I have come to accept the fact though, that I will probably never know on this side of heaven.

Hug each other lots today, and remember that you are not alone. Many people you don't even know are loving your sweet family and praying for your right now. Blessings to you.

Barb said...

My heart is so full for you as I read your story and Teagan's story. Full for your unimaginable pain and sorrow and shock, full for your determination to find God in the hardest of circumstances, and full of peace and faith in our God who does not fail us.
Thank you for sharing your deepest feelings. I will be thinking of you and Chip and Teagan and your family all day today.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of your family today.

Susan said...

Thank you for this post. My son also died on Sunday July 29. He was 7 and his July 29 was 2 years ago. What a gift to read your words today. I know you didn't write it for that purpose but I just want you to know how much I appreciate knowing I am not alone on this walk and that 6 years from now, perhaps I will find I have survived. thank you for the insight on your faith and how you reconcile it with your loss.

I will think of your beautiful Teagan today.

Beth said...

Blessings to you, my friend, on this day of the 29th of July.

You are a woman who is full of grace, and I am honored to read your words today (and every day).

I stand in awe of the God we serve, and look forward to someday meeting your sweet Teagan in Heaven. What a blessing her life has been to so many others, and God has used tragedy for HIS glory!

Hugs & loves to you, from one Mama to another ~ you all are in my heart and prayers today.

Beth,
Michigan

Joey&Casey said...

What a beautiful, enduring example you and your family are of the love of Jesus Christ. We had a sermon at church recently that was all about how to we view our faith in our darkest hours. Do we turn from God and blame him for everything or do we turn into him and rely more heavily on him during those times. I cannot even begin to fathom how horrific and traumatic your life experiences have been but I can see so clearly that you have turned into your faith every step of the way and I am so blessed, inspired and convicted by your example. May the Lord bless you and your family for your courage and strength in the faith.

the story of us said...

woke up thinking of you today as this is the 2nd july 29 that i have followed your blog. praying for your family today. thank you for reminding me to hug my girls a little tighter and a little longer today ♥

Mia Castrillo said...

Hello Jody!

You don't know me but I just want to say that I have been a lurker of your blog for the past year already and have been touched by your strength and courage. You are definitely an instrument of God! How you put words so eloquently to describe your ordeal is commendable. As a mother and as a woman, I admire you tremendously and constantly think of how you manage everything. In God's grace, I know. You are blessed! And you are also a blessing to others!

Hugs to you,
Mia

Kim said...

Dear Jody,
I have been reading your blog for about six months.
You and your family are such an inspiration to us all and you are often in my prayers.
Thinking of you all today.

Kim in Great Britain xxxx

Anonymous said...

Wow, Jody- thank you for being so transparent in your faith. You have inspired me for years! I have read your blog for so long and I can't tell you the impact you've made on my life. Thank you for sharing your stories and your heart in all the good times and the bad and just the in between. Thanks for just being you- I look forward to reading your blog every day. ~ Jenny F in Denver, CO

Nona said...

thank you, my heart is broken and uplifted to the Lord because of you and yours.

Vicky said...

So hard to find words today. I'm choked with tears every time I read about this day. But the way you've told her story, your story, and shared her with us is a beautifully moving tribute to her precious life!

Its made an impact on how I live my life. Her life mattered and is still making a difference and I thank you.

Anonymous said...

Jody: My heart aches for you and for all that you have lost. Teagan was a precious gift and there will be a great reunion for you all someday. Praying for peace and comfort as you relive through this experience again.

I commend you for sharing your life, your heart and your tears with us.

You are truly an inspiration. Thank You for sharing your gifts with us. Heidi

Lauren Kelly said...

With tears coming to my eyes I say thank you for this, thank you for sharing your faith and your story. Thinking of you today. Love you, Jody!

Debbi said...

You are such a strong person. I know your faith takes you through each day. July is hard for us too. We lost two children in my immediate family, a little girl on July 5 and a little boy on July 16 a few years back. But as with you the love and sadness is daily.

I love reading your blogs about your family and Little Miss Teagan. Expressing your feelings in writing is not just beneficial to you, but to me and I'm sure many people. It makes that extra hug and kiss just that much more special.

You are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Jodi, you may have written this down just for you, but you & Teagan have touched so many lives through your blog. I too was reading this post through my tears and will lift your family up throughout the day in my prayers. Thank you for blessing me and inspiring me by sharing your faith. Sheilah

Nina Diane said...

wow Jodi...thanks so much for sharing your strength with all of us. we are so humbled..

Susan from FL said...

Thank you Jodi! Beautiful post - I am praying for your family today. You have been an inspiration to me over the years - you are a beautiful writer...

Dana said...

I have no words other than you guys are amazing.

ScrappyB said...

I have tears streaming down my face right now. I was having a bad day with my daughters 6 and 3 and really needed to read your post. I am reminded to enjoy all the moments with your child. Thanks so much for opening your wound and sharing. I lost a child as well, but it was at birth...I never got to know his little personality but I too have the faith and hope that I will see him one day.

Danielle said...

I can't read this enough times or share it with enough people to calm the storm that rages in my heart when I hear you tell your story. I ask why and how? Though I see sadness everyday, and babies dying for "no good reason." I wish, in my work, I got to see the follow-up--the lives that were changed, in good ways, after the heartache. You do good, justice by telling your story. Thank you.

Erika said...

Jody,

My heart aches for your family and all that you have been through. I really needed to read your post today- you are so uplifting, even despite overwhelmingly sad circumstances. Your story about Teagan's last day and the "incident" was beautiful and moving- and made me sob big, fat, wet tears. She was a beautiful girl- and I know in my heart you will be reunited with her one day. Sending you many hugs and keeping you in my prayers,

Erika

Anonymous said...

A very loving and touching post. The light of God shines through you and touches all of us. I admire boldness in shareing your faith with us. You and your family are in my prayers. God bless you

jen k said...

Thank you for sharing your story. I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family today. I can't imagine all that you've gone through. But, what a beautiful tribute you wrote to your daughter! Big hugs!

Monica said...

I used to be a lurker on your blog and checked it out once every few months. However, I haven't read it in awhile because it is saved on my favorites of a computer I hardly use anymore. Although it's not on my laptop's favorites, I was sitting here today and thought of your name and your blog. I was shocked that I happened to google you again on this particular day.

Years ago when I first heard your story, I myself wasn't a Mom yet. It touched me then, but somehow it hits somewhere even closer to my heart now.

Even though you wrote this post for yourself, I hope you know that countless people will be touched by it (even those of us who don't usually comment).

Because of your willingness to share your heart, someone will hold their kids tighter, say I love you more, and come to know God when they wouldn't have before.

Thinking of you on this difficult day,
Monica

Patti said...

I am so so so sorry that you had to go through such a loss. My 11 month old daughter is napping right now and everything in me wants to go wake her up and hold her in gratitude to the Lord. Even as I write this, tears are streaming down my face. God is so faithful and your faith is absolutely inspiring. I have followed your blog for awhile now, even before you were pregnant with Crew and love your attitude toward family.

I am so sorry that you lost your little girl, I truly can't even imagine and pray to God that I will never have to experience that level of grief. You have a beautiful family and thank you for sharing them with all of us.

Laura said...

your faith is amazing.
thank you for sharing your story.

Hall Family in MD said...

((Hugs)) to you and your family. Thank you for being such an testimony of faith and beauty from ashes.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing that. You and your family are amazing.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful, heartbreaking - yet hopeful - thank you for sharing.

Jackie said...

(I came from Vicky's blog... She's such a sweet person.)

My dear Jody...What an amazing testimony to the peace that only the Lord can give. You have the understanding and the peace that He has given you to KNOW that Teagan is forever in the presence of the Lord. Only He could give you that peace. Man cannot give it...nor can man take it away. I hug you in the times that your heart aches, and I feel the hug from you to all of us through your post...reminding us that we praise Him always. What a strong and loving family you are. Teagan is blowing kisses your way right now...saying, "Mommy...everything is all right. It's wonderful here!" Thank you for an inspirational rememberance of a precious daughter. Love to your family from me.
Jackie

Martha said...

I completely dissolved at the words "pinky promised". My own daughter is four, and I tell her often that I pinky promise I will always be the best mom I can be and that I will love her always and forever, across space and time, no matter what.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing some very precious moments of your life. Your blog always encourages me to see faith in new and different ways. I will pray for peace in you and your families hearts,

Madeline said...

There are no words. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for over a year now and just realized that my Emily is just a week older than your beautiful Teagan. I know you miss her so much. You write beautifully of your love for her, your loss and especially how God has given you such peace in a horrible situation. I always tell my husband that you have such a great place to share your faith and struggles to many that read your blogs. will be praying for you these days as your remember your precious Teagan and make memories with your other beautiful children as well. I live in Florida, but have been spending the summer with family in MI. We love Michigan. Karyn

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Hello!! I'm here because a friend sent me...I'm actually supposed to be on a blogging break...but my heart is breaking for you today as I read this, and so I MUST comment...As I read this, I am reminded of Natalie Grant's song, "Held." You probably already know it...And like me, you probably cry when you listen to it...
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOufqWodFNo)

But I am so very glad you know Him...and that your faith is strengthened...Yet, I understand, too, that the ache will always be with you...I may not know you, but you are my "sister"...and if I could, I'd give you lots of hugs... anniversaries such as these are so, so painful... I am so very, very sorry...you will certainly be in my prayers...With love, Janine XO

Anonymous said...

This is so hard Jody.Yet, I know you rejoice in knowing someday you will see Teagan again.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you remember your beautiful girl this week. Thank you for sharing your story with us.God's blessings to all of you!

Sarah

Carol said...

I cannot imagine the grief and horror that you have experienced. I cannot imagine sitting in a restaurant one minute and having tragedy strike in the least imaginable way possible....your words have painted a picture that no movie could recreate.

I am amazed at your strength and your faith. I know someday you'll all be together again...

Sneaky Momma said...

I will hold my young daughters a little closer after reading your story. Thank you for pouring your heart out on your blog, for sharing this story with others who need to hear it. Saying a prayer of peace for you and your family. Jill

Visiting you from The Westra World. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh Jodi.

Love,

Jane

LucieP said...

I'm touched all over again as if this was the first time I heard about your precious Teagan.

She will never be forgotten.

Sherry said...

Jody, I thank Jesus for you...I've read your story before and it touches me each time in a different way. I too know the peace you talk about, the clam that Christ surrounds you with in times of great pain.
Thank you for reminding me again to cherish the moments of everyday things.
My prayer is that when the Lord returns I might share your joy as I watch you embrace your sweet angel. What a marvelous day that will be! God Bless!

pakosta said...

this is so beautifully written and I cannot imagine the pain you have gone through and still your faith comes out on top. you are an inspiration.
tara pakosta

Susie said...

I know I'm late on this post, but I wanted to thank you for sharing your memories. I have been following you for over a year now, and am very taken by Teagan's story. I don't think you've gone into such specifics as you did in this post, and it was incredible to read.
I admire your faith and enjoy your blog very much.

Laurie and company said...

bawling for you. I know if this ever happened to me, I would cope the same way you do...I love that about you...I'm so very sad for you every anniversary...and think it's great that you cope with your grief in such a real way...and that you keep Teagan's memory alive!

God bless you, Jody...so humbled by your blog...

sob...Laurie