Thursday, July 24, 2008

My thoughts turn...

Back to July 2001. As the weekend approaches and the anniversary is near, I can't help but remmeber. I have been reading through my posts and thoughts from last year at this time. They are filling my eyes with tears and making my heart well up. With both good memories and reminders that year after year, I still feel the sorrow, I still recall in vivid pictures all the details of that time.
I find it interesting that time moves on, but a heart never stops remembering. I invite you to read some of my posts from last year and let them touch you as they may. Tomorrow is Bella's birthday and we are so excited along with her to celebrate this day. She is enjoying today already- her last day of "being 5". I love that God has given us her life to celebrate and to soak up some fun at the same time my heart would rather be filled with reflection and hurt. I am thanking Him over and over for the blessings in our lives that far outnumber the hurts and trials. He has been good and faithful- as only He can be.
I also invite you to join me in prayers for Jaymun and his entire family. I have sat in their hurt and I have prayed for a miracle just as they are praying and having to surrender to at this very moment. My mind has a hard time understanding how such pain can ever be turned into something good in life. But I know from experience that God is a God of healing and He hears our prayers and cries and oftentimes He answers in unexpected ways. Life doesn't make sense when it comes to hurt...the answers may never come.
But there is still Joy and peace and mercy in abundance to all who are willing to seek it and let it come to them in new ways. Even now, as we're marking 7 years since the most unimaginable tragedy touched our lives I sit in wonder as I see how much healing has happened in our lives. I can't believe there is a new life growing inside of me and I constantly thank God that He has everything in control. It's only because of His love and tender mercies that I have found goodness at all. And as I should have expected 7 years ago- even though I never would have believed it could be true- He has filled my heart and life to overflowing. I am humbled by such mercies and can honestly say to Him, "Thank you for the brokenness that has made me much more of who You wanted me to become, all along".


Kara said...

Jody - I am a fellow Bethel alum and a scrapper, so I enjoy reading your blog. As the anniversary of Tegan's passing comes in just a few days, please know that I will be holding you and your family close in prayer.

tolkienfan said...

Jody, thank you for sharing the link from last year.

Your gift with words has brought back so many of my own feelings and experiences through God's healing in my life, years ago now but the memories of which are always sharply in focus every July. It was on July 29th that I gave birth to our firstborn son, John Christopher, a beautiful 8-1/2 pound boy who had already gone home to be with the Lord.

Thanks for sharing your heart with us, Jody, and your memories of Teagan, such a special little girl.

Blessings to you and your family,
(a rookie Minnesota scrapper and mother of 4 sons - one in heaven and three at home with us)

jackie said...

Just to let you know, I have followed the Kaat family story since the first time you posted about them (Jaymun), last year or whenever it was. And, to let you know I am keeping them in my prayers, now, as they are up against this new trial with Jaymun. It is all so hard to comprehend.

I also will be keeping you in my thoughts & prayers as this week-end approaches & you are faced with the anniversary reminder of losing your sweet Teagan.

Hugs to you & your family.
Jackie Carl (Marion, IN)

Anonymous said...

Jody: I always enjoy reading your blog. You are an AWESOME lady! Keeping you and your family in my prayers as the anniversary of Teagan's death approaches! May God continue to BLESS YOU!!

Honea Household said...

I just found your blog on Bring the Rain. You story is amazing. I have been blessed just reading it and seeing the faith you have in Jesus. And I will be praying for you as the approach the anniversary of such a tragedy.

God bless you,

Anonymous said...

Thinking about you and your family this weekend. Keeping you in my prayers. God is AWESOME and He will never stop blessing us!

So Blessed said...

Reading your post really blessed my heart...I am praying for you and your family as the anniversary of Teagan's arrival into heaven approaches.

Madeline said...

I'm thinking of you and your family this weekend. Teagan is a beautiful litle girl, as are all of your kiddos. I love your blog and think you are an amazing, strong, funny woman and fabulous mother! Your blog has inspired me to really enjoy the time spent with my own 4 kids and create my own blog.