Thursday, January 24, 2008

When you've had enough...

This morning the day got off to a good start. Chip took Bella and Brock out for breakfast before school, just to spend a little bit of extra time with them and let them know we really think they're special too. It can be hard to give everyone the time and attention they need when Wyndham demands so much extra from all of us right now.
Chip stopped back home before heading into work, bringing with him a muffin for me, which he promptly warmed and served me at my computer desk. The perfect accompaniment to my coffee and devotions today. I was thanking God for His care and feeling relatively on top of things, when Wyndham awoke soon after. However, things began to spiral downward very quickly. She was crying when she woke and had real tears and it just broke my heart after 30 minutes of that. It's so not like her to express such sadness and nothing seemed to be able to shake this emotion. On top of her sorrow, I was supposed to be getting her to take fluids and medication. Which not only didn't go over well, but was met with opposition. She was pushing me away and getting almost 'rough' with me- no matter how gently I tried to encourage her and comfort her.
I called Chip just to let him know what was happening...and ended up choking back tears. Which, if you know me at all, is not like me either. I rarely get to the point of tears anymore. I just felt I had no more strength to deal with yet another day of trying to just stay one step ahead of having Wydham head back to the hospital.
In a matter of minutes, Chip was home and showing Wyndham some 'tough love'. He was making her drink her medicine and making her sit up and try to get a couple of bites of nourishment into her weary body. She was fighting it and showing her sadness some more, but Chip was somewhat successful. At least I felt like we were making a bit of progress.
I, myself, decided to color my hair and put on some make-up...just to feel a little bit more human myself. It's easy to let yourself go when you're caring so much for another person.
I decided to take on a bit of Chip's role and at lunch I 'made Wyndham eat'. She kept down a few bites of scrambled egg, and drank a bit more juice. My head hurt from that place of wanting so much for things to be different, and trying to figure out just what step we can all take to get a bit closer to that end. Today was the day I felt like I had had enough. That point where you throw up your arms and say, "Help me"...does anybody care? You see, it's one thing to dpend on God, and another to simply cry out to Him at times. I don't think He gets angry when, in our human-ness we sometimes reach that point. In fact, I think that's when God hears our cries the most.
That's literally where I was today, when I got an encouraging phonecall from my sister who lives out-of-state. Her voice and care just made it seem like she was sharing a piece of the burden. It was something small...but it meant so much. Just as I was hanging up the phone with her, I saw our mail lady leaving a package on our front step.
Inside the package was a whole bunch of 'individual love and care' for me and all my family members. My group of Michigan 'scrap' friends had sent a bunch of goodies to encourage us and show their love, care and concern. Wyndham got an adorable 'Build-a-Bear' puppy, while the rest of us got personal gifts as well. The words on the card just spoke to me, and I found myself in tears again today. Not just from feeling overwhelmed, but from sensing that God really DOES know and care about the cries of our hearts. He knows when we've had enough, and the timing of this package and the thoughts behind it just affirmed to me that He truly cares and sends people into our lives at just the right time to let us know JUST HOW MUCH He cares.
At this time Wyndham is resting and we just keep hoping that she'll start coming around and start feeling better soon. It seems like it's been so long since she's been her happy self. We're anxious for her to feel better and hope more than anything it starts to happen soon. In the meantime, I just had to post a few pictures of all the gifts we were given, as well as a picture of me and Ava from just minutes ago. I thought I had reached my breaking point and had enough today. But a little love and care and encouragement from friends and family and God has restored my hope and Joy once again. I can't thank God enough for knowing me so well, that His timing makes even the trying times beautiful once again.


Jodie said...

I'm so thankful that He has lifted you into His arms and encouraged you today, Jody. I can't even begin to imagine how drained you must feel right now. So amazing, isn't it? That the Sovereign Lord of the entire universe cares THAT MUCH about us - to make sure that the phone call and package you need arrive at just the right time. I don't know how people can say that God doesn't care about "the little things." Clearly, He does. Praise Him for that! I'll keep on praying for you guys.

Love and hugs,
Jodie R.

Anonymous said...

Holy cow! You are a strong person to go as long as you have. I continue to pray for you and have faith that God is there with us all of the time even when we may not know it!

Katy "Lady" Vallie

Holly T. said...

I believe in God's perfect timing...God had that package delivered for you, right at that exact moment. Not a moment too soon and not a moment too late.
He is the healer of all our hearts and in our physical bodies.
My prayer for you and yours continues.

Cathy said...

I feel like sending the strapinstyle people a muffin basket. I'm so glad God provided in that way, through friends.
prayers lifted for your precious family...Cathy

Greta said...

Jody, I wish I knew what to say or that I could help in some way, but at least know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

kim brimhall said...

you are amazing!

Sonja said...

Jody, I will keep praying for you and your family, I wish there was more that I could do...please let me know.

Sharmaine said...

I remember those days, forcing a babe to eat because you know its the only way they are going to get what they need to get better.
I love hearing about how you can just rest in God and know your going to get through this time

Tammy said...

I hope tomorrow brings the turning point in Wyndhams health.
Have a wonderful day.

Anonymous said...

Poor sweet little girl! I'm praying that Wyndham soon feels better, and that you stay strong.

Laura in IL

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how our tears flowed so easily many years ago....

We do become somehow stronger but it does feel so good when we let go and allow ourselves to grieve for just the everyday struggles and the most difficult ones.

Praying for you and your family.


Juli said...

Isn't God amazing sometimes how he puts in front of us what we need. Even when we don't know we need it. Know that you are loved. I think it is awesome how you and Chip work together so well. When one can't the other steps in and can. That is something that a lot of people don't have in their marriage. What a gift. Keep your chin up. We are all praying out here for you, Wyndham and your whole family.

Big hugs,

scrapnic72 said...

God's timing is perfect. I am praying for his unending strength and grace for you. I'm glad to know that He worked through us to bring you some encouragement today. Many prayers continue to flow your way....


KatieButler said...

Prayers for strength for you and Chip as you care for Wyndham, and that she is on the "upswing" soon, health-wise.
God Bless,

Lori said...

Jody, I'm so glad our package arrived at just the right time!!! We are always here for you!!

Wishing for a better day for you tomorrow and for Wyndham too!!


Pretty Brown Girl said...

You are exactly right...time and time again the people in the Bible "cried out unto the LORD" and that is when He showed His hand. Remember that He already has everything worked out, He's just waiting for you to be desperate for Him. His grace and mercy is sufficient.
I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers!
Be Blessed!

mimisherry said... heart aches for you and your family I pray that precious Wyndham wakes up feeling "all better"...I just love how God used the angels in your life today to touch you right where you needed your sweet spirit! You continue to be a gentle inspiration and reminder of what life is really made of, and how we should handle it! I say this every time, but I believe it to be true, I am CERTAIN God is pleased with you as He watches from above....saying ....well done!!!!
Love & blessings!

CD said...

God Bless you all Jodi, we are praying for your family.
It is so hard as a mom and a wife NOt to be friustrated or feel guilty when one of our little ones seems to need all of what we have to give. We deal with this in our house and thank goodness for God's grace and love and for him knowing how much we can handle. He is holding you in his big loving arms through this whole journey my friend, and I know he has so much more in store for you.

sending lots of love and hugs

Tina Vega said...

It pains me to hear about your day; I am so sorry you have to watch your little one struggle. I am thankful the Lord has surrounded you with such love. Continuing to lift you in prayer...

Magpie said...

Your post today brings to mind my very favorite quote, so I hope you don't mind my sharing it with you:

"Life is this simple: We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent, and God is shining through it all the time. This is not just a fable or a nice story. It is true. If we abandon ourselves to God and forget ourselves, we see it sometimes, and we see it maybe frequently. God shows Himself everywhere, in everything--in people and in things and in nature and in events . . . we cannot be without Him. It's impossible. The only thing is, we don't see it." --Thomas Merton

I congratulate you on continually recognizing God in the events of your life, even when you are feeling at your lowest. He is always with us, but most of the time we don't see Him! Taking the time to be thankful for His grace is a wonderful thing. {GBH}

paige said...

i love it when that happens--the part about a tangible expression shown just when you need it.
praying she continue to improve. thinking of ya'll often