Wednesday, January 23, 2008

We had it so easy...

Before there was an "us", Chip and I had it so easy. We had jobs and free time and money to spend on dating and life was fairly easy. Our big concerns were paying off student loans and trying to get the same days off in our schedules so we could be together.
Then we got married. It was wonderful, but not as easy. Suddenly there was a monthly bill for our townhome and utilities. Our commutes were longer and our cars had more wear. I remember how frustrating and stressful it was when one needed a muffler repair and soon after the other needed brakes redone. Our 'fun money' seemed to be constantly spent on things I didn't find fun or amusing.
Along came Teagan. She was beautiful and more than I imagined a baby would be in our lives. She took all my energy...and lots of love too. It was a wonderfully difficult time in our lives. Adjusting to 'we're a family and not just an "us" any longer' was a big step for Chip and me. No one is ever fully prepared.
Then we moved far away from family. I realized about a week into our move that we had had it so easy- when we were 'home'. What were we thinking? Why we moved from all our help and stability to unknowns and more stress never really got answered...but we made do. We could look back and see how we had grown and changed and even laugh at how we used to think we had it 'so rough'.
Over the course of the next few years we grew from 3 to 5. It was wonderful. Three kids seemed as challenging as one had been in many ways. The adjustments were smaller and we learned to enjoy our time at home- much the way we used to enjoy our time when we were dating and having 'fun'. We were having fun- it's just our definition of fun had changed.
After Teagan's death we learned again how 'we had had it so easy'. Before she died we had no clue what grief and pain felt like , nor did we know how 'hard' it would be to live through it. With our tragedy came a lot of 'baggage' and major medical concerns. The most serious of them affecting Wyndham on an ongoing basis.
Bella and Ava have come along and we now appreciate the little things and love that life has become a gift to us to treasure daily. Things like car mufflers and sleepless nights don't cause us the type of stress they once did. We truly can look back and see how we used to have it so easy.
The truth is, easy wasn't better, and we didn't even realize we were living the 'easy life' until it was gone. I hesitate to even dream about the future or imagine what our lives will look like 6 months from now, a year from now and so on. I can only guess there will be more living and learning, and there's a good chance we could be saying, "remember 2008? We had it so good back then".
We are still dealing with a sick little girl. Wyndham was back in the ER last night and treated for deyhdration. She has maybe a touch of an ear infection too, and just can't keep anything down right now. She is so sore from IV sites and blood draws and just the feeling you get when you're tired of being sick and tired. She has been able to keep some fluids down since early this afternoon and we just continue to let her rest, while at the same time try to encourage her to sit up and drink or just be alert for short lengths of time.
We're unsure at this time if she continues to be sick from a flu-like virus, from the new medicine she is taking, or just that her body is worn down from all she's been through. It's a waiting game at this point and we are staying in close contact with her caregivers and hoping for her to turn the corner soon.
It's no fun to watch a little one so weak, so sad, so sick. But curling up next to her for a few minutes of rest today made me realize that no, we don't have it all that easy some times. But I wouldn't trade places to be anywhere 'easier' right now. This is exactly where I feel I was meant to be. Thanks again for so many prayers and emails. Forgive me for not replying to many of your personal notes, encouragements and words of comfort. I hope you can take a little step back from whatever stresses you may have in your own life at this point in time and just feel 'blessed' for a moment that you have just what you have in your life. Appreciate today- just as it is. One day you may look back and realize just how wonderful and 'easy' it really was.


scrapnic72 said...

Yes, Jody, I am hugging my children a bit closer these days....know that Kennedy and Hayden have prayed for Wyndham by name over the past week. We continue to lift you...let me know if there is any way that I can help.


Colleen W said...

My heart is filled with prayers for you and your family - for continued peace and better health. Your reflections and attitude are an inspiration - you move my heart and help me gain perspective!

Anonymous said...

You are a very inspirational person. I continue to pray for your family and to look more for the positive in my life and realize how much worse my brain injury could have been.
I live in Muskegon too, so let me know if there is any way I can help you out.
Katy "Lady" Vallie

paige said...

i so agree with you jody.
i just recieved an email minutes ago from a friend--an amazing godly mother--who's daughter is dying, very soon. she was dx with a rare cancer & was to begin holistic care this week. she began feeling sick again 5 days ago & now she will go to the lord at any time.i am blown away right now-my heart is heavy for so many.
he hears every prayer though & he does see our every tear.
still praying for your baby girl!

Marva said...

Jody, I find your blog to be very inspirational, and I love that you love the Lord and trust in Him the way you do. Knowing you're going through some challenging times brings to mind a comforting song about how the Lord is always there for us, and you can listen to it through your "Project Playlist" website. It's called "With Me Always" by Mark Bishop. This song lifts me up and reminds me I'm not alone. God bless you and your family!

Shauna said...

Thanks for the encouragement. This week has been rough in my house but you are right - I wouldnt want to be anywhere else. Easy or not. Thanks for the words - you inspire!

Anonymous said...

Jody, I love reading your blog and all your perspectives. How awesome that you touch so many lives with all your experiences. Thank you! I too need reminding to be content where I am right now in my life. May God lift you and bless you! JW

Catherine (France) said...

We, your readers, are supposed to find and send you words of comfort,but in fact, YOU're sharing with us your wisdom. Since I read your posts, you make me become more conscious of every moments of simple joy in our family life. Thanks again. I live far from you , but my thoughts are beside you,your family and your little Wyndham. Catherine

kristajean said...

Just read through your last few posts about Wyndham being sick. I stop by your blog often and just felt like I should comment today and let you know I'm praying for you! For strength to get through it and for God's healing for little Wyndham. Bless you guys!!!!

Nancy said...

Thank you for the reality check! Thinking of you-

Anonymous said...

Praying, praying, praying.

Rhonda & Family

Tina Vega said...

Thanks for sharing such important reminders! I always say to my faithbooking friends, "Today's worst day might someday be your best day." It is so important to cherish there here and now, no matter what is going on around us. I love what you said, "... and there's a good chance we could be saying, 'remember 2008? We had it so good back then'."

So true, so true.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog for quite a few months now. I want you to know what a blessing you are to my daily life. I am a divorced mom of 3 kiddos, and you have helped give me a new look on my life, and the blessings I have in my life. Somehow reading your daily journaling gives me a different outlook on everything. You may not realize how much advise you give in everything you write.....thank you for your time and for sharing your life with me! You are an inspiration. Sweet Wyndham and your family is in my prayers!

Holly T. said...

I follow your blog from time to time and my prayers are with you, your very sweet precious (right now sick) little girl and your whole family.

Tammy said...

Thank You Thank You Thank You...
Because of your words I am sitting here realising that I whinge and whine at my babies too much, I worry all the time about the little things. When wha I realy should be doing is making the most of everyday I have with them.
Thank You.

Magpie said...

Girl, you should really think about writing a book about your life experiences. You have a real gift with words and I always find it heartening to read your posts. Even when you are faced with difficulties, you look for the silver lining, and in lifting yourself up, you lift all of us up, too!

Jan said...

Oh, Jody, isn't it the truth? We don't appreciate how "easy" we have it until we look back. This morning I began my prayer time lifting up you and Wyndham and your family and just thanking God for the blessings and "ease" of my own life. Sure there are bumps, but who knows what lies in my future that I may then look back on THIS time and say, "wow, I had it so easy then". Thank you for reminding me to appreciate it NOW! Your writing is so inspiring and thought-provoking. Love that. Blessings,

scrap {n} flava said...

sharing the way you do really brings so much presective to how we should look at life- and our time here. Please know that you & your family have been in my prayers.
The path you are on may be the narrow and bumpy path, but it is the path that you find the comfort of the Lord on your journey making it worth every step of the way.

Leslie said...

you don't know me...
but someone that i don't know commented on my blog and shared your blog address.
i just got done reading the article on your blog about the accident in which you lost your daughter teagan.
tears were hard to hold back and i couldn't believe what i was reading.
people who i don't know have started commenting on my blog lately because i lost my husband about a month and a half ago...
like you, i love to hear from people whether i know them or not. reading blogs of people who have lost someone has brought some comfort to me... and sharing my feelings with others has also brought some comfort to me.
i am grateful for what you have shared with anyone who reads your blog... i am grateful for the faith of others that can help strengthen my own through this extremely difficult time in my life.
thank you.
leslie *
utah, u.s.a.