We had it so easy...

Before there was an "us", Chip and I had it so easy. We had jobs and free time and money to spend on dating and life was fairly easy. Our big concerns were paying off student loans and trying to get the same days off in our schedules so we could be together.
Then we got married. It was wonderful, but not as easy. Suddenly there was a monthly bill for our townhome and utilities. Our commutes were longer and our cars had more wear. I remember how frustrating and stressful it was when one needed a muffler repair and soon after the other needed brakes redone. Our 'fun money' seemed to be constantly spent on things I didn't find fun or amusing.
Along came Teagan. She was beautiful and more than I imagined a baby would be in our lives. She took all my energy...and lots of love too. It was a wonderfully difficult time in our lives. Adjusting to 'we're a family and not just an "us" any longer' was a big step for Chip and me. No one is ever fully prepared.
Then we moved far away from family. I realized about a week into our move that we had had it so easy- when we were 'home'. What were we thinking? Why we moved from all our help and stability to unknowns and more stress never really got answered...but we made do. We could look back and see how we had grown and changed and even laugh at how we used to think we had it 'so rough'.
Over the course of the next few years we grew from 3 to 5. It was wonderful. Three kids seemed as challenging as one had been in many ways. The adjustments were smaller and we learned to enjoy our time at home- much the way we used to enjoy our time when we were dating and having 'fun'. We were having fun- it's just our definition of fun had changed.
After Teagan's death we learned again how 'we had had it so easy'. Before she died we had no clue what grief and pain felt like , nor did we know how 'hard' it would be to live through it. With our tragedy came a lot of 'baggage' and major medical concerns. The most serious of them affecting Wyndham on an ongoing basis.
Bella and Ava have come along and we now appreciate the little things and love that life has become a gift to us to treasure daily. Things like car mufflers and sleepless nights don't cause us the type of stress they once did. We truly can look back and see how we used to have it so easy.
The truth is, easy wasn't better, and we didn't even realize we were living the 'easy life' until it was gone. I hesitate to even dream about the future or imagine what our lives will look like 6 months from now, a year from now and so on. I can only guess there will be more living and learning, and there's a good chance we could be saying, "remember 2008? We had it so good back then".
We are still dealing with a sick little girl. Wyndham was back in the ER last night and treated for deyhdration. She has maybe a touch of an ear infection too, and just can't keep anything down right now. She is so sore from IV sites and blood draws and just the feeling you get when you're tired of being sick and tired. She has been able to keep some fluids down since early this afternoon and we just continue to let her rest, while at the same time try to encourage her to sit up and drink or just be alert for short lengths of time.
We're unsure at this time if she continues to be sick from a flu-like virus, from the new medicine she is taking, or just that her body is worn down from all she's been through. It's a waiting game at this point and we are staying in close contact with her caregivers and hoping for her to turn the corner soon.
It's no fun to watch a little one so weak, so sad, so sick. But curling up next to her for a few minutes of rest today made me realize that no, we don't have it all that easy some times. But I wouldn't trade places to be anywhere 'easier' right now. This is exactly where I feel I was meant to be. Thanks again for so many prayers and emails. Forgive me for not replying to many of your personal notes, encouragements and words of comfort. I hope you can take a little step back from whatever stresses you may have in your own life at this point in time and just feel 'blessed' for a moment that you have just what you have in your life. Appreciate today- just as it is. One day you may look back and realize just how wonderful and 'easy' it really was.