Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Treasured memories.

A few nights ago I came across a box of things I hadn't seen in a few years, including this Barbie suitcase. It has been 'missing' and presumed gone for more than 3 years now. You can't imagine how happy I was to find this treasure! Inside were all of Teagan's Barbie dolls that she spent hours playing with when she was alive. In the months after her death, I used to imagine at times that she was still upstairs in her room playing Barbies. It was hard to accept the reality of her death, and sometimes I would find myself just waiting for her to call me from her room asking me to come up and join her in play, or to see what she had done with her Barbies.
I remember some days, usually when I was making lunch or throwing the laundry in the wash machine that I would find myself aching with my stomach in knots over the fact that I couldn't hear her laughing and playing or singing the jingle from Barbie ads ("Great time to be a girl...Barbie!").
I sometimes pulled out the Barbie suitcase just to look at the dolls and remind myself of the happiness and innocence that filled Teagan's life- the simple joy she had playing and being a little girl. I had a longing in my heart for those stolen moments...I wished I had soaked them up more when I had the chance. My heart hurt that I didn't have pictures of Teagan- other than the ones of her in my heart and mind.
So, when the Barbie suitcase 'disappeared' in our move to our current home, it was a little thing...but it was still a 'big then' when you consider the sentimental value of a suitcase of Barbies that held so many memories. I had basically given up ever seeing this suitcase and dolls again. In fact, just a month or so ago I went on a hunt looking in places I thought I had missed. It turned up nothing. What a sweet, unexpected surprise for me to find the suitcase tucked in the bottom of a box oy toys and videos and puzzles...all which brought back forgotten memories of Teagan.
I pulled out the suitcase and explained to my girls that this suitcase of Barbies was extra special and that Teagan had played with these Barbies and now they could play with them too. Each Barbie is special in some way...the first one she ever got...the one she got that looked 'like Grandma Genie'...the one I gave her just two or three days before she died- just because I wanted to make her happy that day and I had one tucked away to give to her at some point in time. You have no idea how often I was grateful that I didn't wait for an excuse....but instead I gave it to her for no particular reason. And it happened to be the last chance I would have- but I didn't have an incling that it was to be the last Barbie Teagan would add to her collection.
My heart is glad today. I am typing to the voices of my girls playing Barbies and having fun together. I remember longing and wishing for another chance like this- the very thing that is happening in my home right now. I can't help but think that God IS watching out for me and my family and that He is happy to give me such moments in life. Moments where I recognize the simple desires of my heart are not vague memories...but that they are reality at times. Unexpected blessing showed up in the form of a suitcase full of Barbies. Bringing with it fond memories, new memories and more gratefulness in my heart. I am glad more times than I can count, for the almost 4 and a half years that we had Teagan in our lives, and for the joy she has brought and that continues to grace our lives everyday.
I have a feeling the Barbie suitcase won't go missing ever again. I plan on keeping it safe and sound...while still allowing my girls to play and have fun with the goodies inside. =)


Regina said...

Makes me want to go home and give my munchkin the train car I have been saving for our upcoming marathon car trip. There are 4 - giving him one early would make ME feel good!

Anonymous said...

I love the first photo you posted here - the one with both the girls. It sets the scene so well.

Thanks for the reminder to show love to my children every day.


FlipFlop Mom said...

awwwwww I never ever ever owned a Barbie Doll.... so when I had my daughter I bought her every barbie I possibly could.. and we would play for hours.. I saved every tiny barbie shoe that landed on the floor... etc.. Now my daughter is close to 17.. I miss those days when she would say "mommy can you put her shirt on.. I can't get the arm in... " or "Mommy can you braid her hair just like mine"....

Thanks for my sweet moments of memories!! I hope barbie double blesses your girls!! Ü My daughters all time fav.. super hero barbie... !!

Rosie said...

Thanks for sharing. I just took a picture of my 2 year old with a bandaid on his nose. I knew that it would be off in three minutes but he "needed" that bandaid. It was a sweet moment when he showed me the nose and it was "all better". Thanks for sharing. Enjoy those moments!

Anonymous said...

that is the most beautiful thing i have read today.

susan opel said...

Oh, yes, I fully understand the memories held in a Barbie suitcase. What a treasure for all of you!

shawnna said...

Blessings to you and yours

Anonymous said...

Hello Jody
Let me introduce myself--my name is Cindy and I am from Kentucky. I have visited your blogsite several times, but this is the first time I have left a commet. I love your blog and you are such an inspiration. The pictures of the girls are beautiful. I have two boys, (one in college and one a senior) and there are so many things I wish I had done and didn't. (I would have taken more pictures, having just been introduced to scrapbooking in the past year.) Thanks for sharing such a sweet spirit.

MsGrace said...

What a gift to find that suitcase again.
Your blog always reminds me to enjoy the simple precious moments.
Thanks so much,

Laurie said...

Absolutely beautiful and such an awesome blessing!!! Such an awesome reminder to just take in those little things that happen everyday and to listen to your heart and not save all those gifts for the appointed holiday! Love love love it! TFS!

Kristi Ann said...

Wow....i really do enjoy reading your blog.
You bring things into perspectivie a lot of times and remind me that each day is NOT a given.
I can't thank you enough for that.
Your girls are GORGEOUS, and congrats on being "published".
Hugs to the kids.
and thanks for making such an impact in my little life! :)

Anonymous said...

you made me cry again.
i am so glad your found the suitcase.
and thanks for reminding me once again to enjoy every second of every day w/ my children.

sarahdv17 said...

What a wonderful blessing to find the suitcase! This post really touched me. Thanks for sharing.

christy p said...

Giving you a HUGE (((HUG)))

Starlight said...

You are an extraordinary woman!
I admire you even if you don't know me...I'm always here reading your posts and I just wish the best for you and your family!
God Bless you!

Layle Koncar said...

Hey. Love reading your blog. Always leaves me with teary eyes, and a nice warm, fuzzy feeling. And a really deep need to be a better mom to my boys and to let all of the silly, minor, inconsequential stuff go that they do day in and day out that drives me absolutely batty.

Thank you.

Ralna @ Just Scrap It! said...

Jody, I too love reading your blog. It helps me remember to cherish every moment of my relationship with my daughter. Even the moments I want to rip my hair out of my scalp. Those moments pale in contrast to the sweet little things she says and does that bring me joy. Reading your words help me to remember the little things are the big things and I shouldn't take them for granted. Thank you for that.

Wade, Melanie, & kids said...

I have visited your blog several times and I truly enjoy your post! You are such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your life!!! This post really reminded me to let the small things go and enjoy every minute with my 3 babies! Have a wonderful week!!! Melanie Smith


I have so many pictures of me and my sister playing with our Barbie dolls! We would play together for hours, until we were teenagers! My dauhgter got her very first Barbie doll before she was born, but never liked it! She got many of them for birthdays and christmas, but played for a few days and forgot about it. When she was for, she got a Polly Pocket from my mother, and then it was love at first sight! Now she is 9, and she still loves her huge collection of Polly dolls, just like me with my Barbies. And I try to play with her and have lots of pictures! They grow up too fast, we need to save time for this little moments!
I love reading your blog, and today I really relate to what you wrote. BTW, your girls are beautiful!

~*AMY*~ said...

you are truly such an inspiration...thanks for the reminder to appreciate every second with my kids.