Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I'm not always right.

I loved the fact that so many of you regulars were quick to post on the day I asked you to support my guess that you were out there and in so doing you would prove Chip wrong. Thanks again, but in all honesty, I must admit that I'm not always right. In saying that, I admit that Chip sometimes is. It's true. He also thinks that I'm not always totally open with you and that you don't always get the whole Nitty.Gritty. truth.
He's right about that as well, but only to a certain point. Normally, on any given day, I draw the line and spare you the ugly details about body functions and other catastrophes that go on around here. Generally I am not proud of the fact that they occur, and normally they are not the highlights of my day, nor do I ponder them for any length of time. They are just a part of life in my home, and so I kind of skip over that kind of stuff.
For example, remember that Turtle Cake I showed you? Well, the truth is that as I whipped the cream and prepared to stack the layers, one of my children took her diaper off and proceeded to step in it at the same time. Chip's boss and owners of his club and their family were here for dinner, waiting for their dessert. This is what was going on while I made cake. I was summoned to the other room and found a naked girl with dirty feet standing next to her diaper on her Pottery Barn Kids butterfly rug.
Nice.
Nice timing.
Nice that I was making Turtle Cake and now instead of adding a couple of teaspoons of Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla to my cream, I am cleaning a wiggling, dirty girl.
Nice.
So, I clean the girl; Chip takes the rug out to the garage...{where I got to scrub it the next day!}
Nice.
I didn't stress out about this whole thing. In fact, I was probably very "breezy" about it in real life. I'm used to this sort of thing. I live my life knowing that everyday we all are part of a broken world- in one way or another. The cake story is a really simple illustration of the brokeness that each of us faces, but my point is that it touches everyone of us in one way or another.
It might be a broken relationship. Or an illness or some sort of disease- one we were genetically predisposed to, or that simply came from nowhere. It may be a messed up self-image or doubt we carry around. It may be the pain of abuse of any kind. It may be any number of things. I just know that our world, since nearly the beginning of time, when Adam and Eve sinned, affects everyone in someway with brokeness.
Some of you are probably wondering why I am reminding you of something so awful in your life. Well, here's my Nitty.Gritty. thoughts on brokeness.
On the Sunday morning of our tragic incident, Chip and I were sitting in church with our family. I really enjoyed church, and have many friends there to this day. Yet, on that morning something struck me as we sang the words of a worship song called, "Holiness". One of the verses goes like this, "Brokeness, brokeness is what I long for. Brokeness is what I need. Brokeness, brokeness is what You want from me." I remember singing the words and then thinking, "This is crazy. Nobody here in this church wants brokeness. That's not what we want." I remember looking around and even "hand-picking" people who were singing this song and thinking to myself, "That person is totally mouthing the words...there's no way that s/he wants brokeness in their life."
Imagine my thoughts only hours later, as I lay strapped to a backboard in the local ER, where my family members were being airlifted away, bruised, broken and in critical condition. I was utterly helpless and in disbelief.
And do you know what? I was at total peace inside. I wasn't crying hysterically, but I was beginning to ache all over and I was scared when I allowed myself to imagine what might happen to everyone. Still, I was filled with peace. It was at that moment that I realized that brokeness is exactly what we all need in this life. When I realized that my nightmare was actually happening and nothing I could do or say would change the outcome of our circumstance, I was broken at the core of my being and I had no one to turn to but God. I found that in the most horrific moments of my life, when I was shattered to pieces, physically, emotionally and mentally, that God was there and He was all I needed.
I can't explain it in words, but I felt it in my heart and that is what has allowed me to live in spite of the grief and heartache, the doubts and disappointments, and the utter unfairness of it all. It's not that I have it all together. You know by now I will never claim that I do. Instead, I have learned to live with the reality of the brokeness of myself and the world we live in. I simply trust that God has it all figured out and He simply has allowed me to become whole in Him.
I hope you find ways to let God be the one to fix any broken pieces in your life too. He can and He will when you recognize your brokeness and you ask Him to make it right in life. That is one thing I KNOW I am right about. Always.

10 comments:

Kirsty said...

Thank-you for such an inspiring post Jody.I know I sometimes forget that God is all I need and try and take things on, on my own. Your post has reminded me not to. I read your blog everyday, but hardly ever comment, but I always leave your blog feeling inspired. Thank-you Jody.

Janna said...

I know what you mean... I mean I have thought the same thing about that song that says, "Brokenness is what I long for," because brokenness is never really what I have longed for... but I have been broken. My spirit has been battered... but I have never given up on my faith. It's the glue that holds us together! And there's a sweetness to the brokenness because that's when God gets to scoop us up and comfort us and He helps us to realize just how much we need Him and love Him. If everything always went perfectly in our lives, we would have no need to turn to God and to keep our eyes focused on Heaven... but it is because of life's hardships that we are reminded to remain steadfast in our faith and we remember that we are nothing without God.

Thank you for your post! It is one that makes you think... and that's a good thing. :)

jackie carl said...

Thank you, Jody, for today's thoughts.
Sincerly,
Jackie Carl

annette said...

Thank you Jody for putting into words what so many of us feel.

I read your blog each day and love to smile and laugh with you.

Have a super day...
~annette~

Anonymous said...

Jody, once again your words have touched me in a way I didn't know was possible. Thank you so much for blogging such inspirational messages.

Christy said...

OK Jody- Here we go again. Have you ever sat in a large worship area and thought that the minister was talking to YOU? You are among 300 of your fellow worshipers and he is talking to ME. I read your blog, that is going out to lots of people and YOU are talking to ME. God is using you. Nothing like a few tears first thing in the morning with my coffee. Keep writing, you're getting it!

Joyous said...

Wow, Jody, these are some realy powerful and potent words.. I'm telling you, if I could write like you, my scrapbooking would be SO full of journaling. You are so so very...honest in your words. My goal for this week is to write. honestly. thank you.

Nicole said...

Hi Jody,
I think that your message was used by God to talk to me this morning.
Thank you!
Nicole

shawnna said...

loved your post -- as always ;)

I think my brokeness is what finally brought me to a place were I HAD to believe in GOD -- I wanted to - I wanted to put all my trust in HIM - and I think HE knew I would never REALLY let HIM in until I was TRUELY BROKEN -

Brenda said...

Jody,
What a wonderful message that you have given to us all this morning. It will give me something worth while to think about as I go through my day today!
Have a wonderful day!