Time for yourself.

I find that there are rare moments in my life when I have a block of time and absolutely nothing pressing to fill that space. Most days (besides being on the computer blogging away) I find that my "free time" consists of the few moments I spend in my shower- which actually isn't spare time because I am taking care of personal hygiene- so even that time in the shower has purpose.
The idea of empty space and time- to just think, meditate, reflect or dream is one that I feel I need to allow myself more of in my life. I think I need to reevaluate my schedule, or the things I currently do to fill my time, and create more "breathing space" for myself.
It's something that is easier said than done- because things come at us so fast and eat up our time and consume our days- without us realizing it. I think we are busy people- but there are a lot of things that aren't necessary for our daily living.
This time of year makes me think of the Pilgrims and some of the pioneers who came to this country with nothing. They had to wake up and "do" just to live and survive. Their lives were about basic needs being met- with very little free time. I look at my own life- and although I don't watch a whole lot of tv (especially the "mindless stuff")- there are activities that I could cut out and it wouldn't affect my ability to live.
I don't really know where I'm going with this idea- I guess this daily journaling makes me wonder about each of us and how our lives are important, in and of themselves- but also that if we all had personal mission statements or a focus than we might be able to affect other lives to a higher degree.
Okay. On a personal level this is what is really hitting me. There is a woman in this world- whose life has forever affected mine- in a truly horrific way- and yet I can't help but be consumed with thoughts of compassion for her. I believe that all life is sacred- that God personally designed us individually with specific gifts, qualities, characteristics, moods- everything. But in this fallen, broken world- some people live as though none of that is true. Maybe they were surrounded by evil when they grew up and thought that is how they should live as well...maybe they were influenced by other broken people telling them that they were worthless, or unlovable, or ugly or no good- or any other sad thing broken people say to hurt people around them. I don't know what happened in her life- but she made a lot of bad decisions and one of those choices changed the course of the life I was leading forever.
I have no idea why my life intesected with her life that day. What I do know is that the same God who loves me and created me- loves and created her too. Some days I am angry that He created her- but the faith I know of tells me that my Creator doesn't make mistakes. He does everything with intent and purpose. His nature is one of goodness and love- so that is what I have to trust in. He knows all things-past, present and future.
I didn't mean to write a mini-sermon and discuss my faith- rather I am just writing about the thoughts that have consumed my "free time" lately. I have no idea if I will feel led to act on my thoughts- or what those actions would even look like- but I do know where there is life there is always hope. Hope is available to anyone in this world- no matter how ugly, evil, cold, selfish or otherwise "broken" that person may be.
Goodness exists for all to grab onto and can be channeled out of a soul that is open and willing. Our broken world would be a different place if every individual heard this message and believed it for themself. I hope you believe it...if not, I challenge you to seek out the truth in this message. You matter in this world.