Once upon a time...

In the months after Teagan's death and in light of my injuries and all my family's recovery that seemed to define us and be the only thing on our hearts and minds from morning til night, and often throughout the whole night, I wondered if we could ever feel or care about anything other than our pain. It was so intense and all-consuming. I couldn't imagine that the hurt would ever lessen enough to be able to live a "normal life" ever again.
Part of me never wanted to feel "normal" again, because the truth is, that would be it's okay to live without Teagan and the relaity of how our lives had changed in one instant. But as the years have passed, and as the pictures and words I share here testify, our lives have changed to include lots of "normal days" and caring about the little things of life.
This morning feels like a really wonderful, ordinary day in my not-so-fairytale life.
Ava pulled her little chair to the counter and just helped me make banana bread which is now baking in the oven and filling the house with a comfortable aroma. Crew is happy and crawling and smells like the mashed bananas I fed him as I made the bread. Brock and Bella are at school- counting down the days til summer is here. =)
Wyndham just started feeling better after being sick for the past 3 days. She's still in jammies and is gearing up for a bath. Chip is on his way to pick up my mom from the Chicago airport. We're all very excited to have Grandma Genie coming for a long weekend visit. We don't get to see any of our extended families often enough- so this is definitely something special, without a lot of fanfare though, like at Christmastime.
As I closed the oven door on the little loaves of banana bread, I closed my eyes and thanked God for bringing all my family so far. It's these kind of moments- the ones where all my senses are engaged and I actually can look back and see that it's been a struggle worth fighting for. The struggle back to finding and creating a "new normal" that is equally as good as the life we once had. Different than it was once upon a time, but truly ordinary and wonderful in its own special way.
May you be able to say, "Thank you God for the gifts you've given to me in my life, including and maybe especially for, the struggles". It's a joy that gives life a whole new meaning.