Thursday, May 21, 2009

Once upon a time...

In the months after Teagan's death and in light of my injuries and all my family's recovery that seemed to define us and be the only thing on our hearts and minds from morning til night, and often throughout the whole night, I wondered if we could ever feel or care about anything other than our pain. It was so intense and all-consuming. I couldn't imagine that the hurt would ever lessen enough to be able to live a "normal life" ever again.
Part of me never wanted to feel "normal" again, because the truth is, that would be it's okay to live without Teagan and the relaity of how our lives had changed in one instant. But as the years have passed, and as the pictures and words I share here testify, our lives have changed to include lots of "normal days" and caring about the little things of life.
This morning feels like a really wonderful, ordinary day in my not-so-fairytale life.
Ava pulled her little chair to the counter and just helped me make banana bread which is now baking in the oven and filling the house with a comfortable aroma. Crew is happy and crawling and smells like the mashed bananas I fed him as I made the bread. Brock and Bella are at school- counting down the days til summer is here. =)
Wyndham just started feeling better after being sick for the past 3 days. She's still in jammies and is gearing up for a bath. Chip is on his way to pick up my mom from the Chicago airport. We're all very excited to have Grandma Genie coming for a long weekend visit. We don't get to see any of our extended families often enough- so this is definitely something special, without a lot of fanfare though, like at Christmastime.
As I closed the oven door on the little loaves of banana bread, I closed my eyes and thanked God for bringing all my family so far. It's these kind of moments- the ones where all my senses are engaged and I actually can look back and see that it's been a struggle worth fighting for. The struggle back to finding and creating a "new normal" that is equally as good as the life we once had. Different than it was once upon a time, but truly ordinary and wonderful in its own special way.
May you be able to say, "Thank you God for the gifts you've given to me in my life, including and maybe especially for, the struggles". It's a joy that gives life a whole new meaning.

13 comments:

Beckypdj said...

Really enjoyed this post. My son has been in Heaven for 16 months. It is the attitude of thankfulness that has brought me so far. I have mostly "new normal" days. As you said, part of me never wanted to feel normal again. But God is amazingly good and faithful. He never leaves us.

Thanks for sharing your life!

melissa said...

that was so beautifully put. Thanks for sharing. I wished we lived next door and I would be knocking on your door for some banana bread. WOW that just sounds simply yummy!

N, Kelly, D, E and Zoe said...

Isn't it the truth about the struggles. As hard and as painful as they are, God can and will use them for His glory.

Thank you for the reminder Jody.

Have fun with Grandma Genie this weekend!

Kelly

Erika said...

Thank you, Jody. I really needed to hear this today. You give me so much hope!!!! :-)

-Erika

http://littletinyfootprints.blogspot.com/

lyly said...

you did it again.
you challenged me again to enjoy simple-ness:)

Patti said...

This post was very refreshing. I think you are incredible woman. Blessings to you!

Anonymous said...

This is the anniversary of the death of SCC little girl. I just read Mary Beth's post and have been praying for her and all of them and I pray for you and your family ,too ever since I discovered your blog awhile ago through scrapbooking!!I even used one of your blogs to help me give a devotional at my woman's group at church!!! You are great!!!

Jan said...

You truly inspire, Jody. Your joy brings me joy, especially because it's been so hard-fought. May you have many more blessings to numerous to count... ;)

Kristin, Jeff, and Michael said...

Thank you for sharing that post. I have been reading your blog for a long time. Just haven't gotten enough guts to comment. You and your family have changed my life. You are truly amazing. You have taught me so many little things. I know that God is truly amazing and is always there. Just know that I think about your little Teagan and your family and I am humbled everyday to be able to hear about your daily struggles and how they truly are blessings. You are such an inspiration to me.

Anonymous said...

beautiful. You seem to say the words I need to hear at the right time. You are a true inspiration. Thanks for sharing.

Have a weekend full of love and gratefulness!

teresamay said...

amen! good to see you last week!
"thanks for the trials Lord!"

domenico said...

you are absolutely amazing, I wonder if I'll ever have you strength

~ shi ~ said...

I am so glad your visit with your mom was good! I am so sorry for your new normal...I am so thankful tho for your heart and the sharing...blessing..Shi~