Her 'highs' are higher...

This is Wyndham as she appeared yesterday in one of her proudest moments ever. I have to admit I was equally, if not more, proud of her myself. This series of pictures shows her sitting, climbing and sliding on the arm of our couch.

My other kids have done it more times than I can count. Yesterday Wyndham climbed up on there all by herself, and at first just held her hands up and wiggled her fingers; she could see them in a mirror on the opposite wall of the room. She was fairly happy with that, and it was her laughter that drew me into the room in the first place. I was totally caught off-guard when I looked up and saw where she was and what she was laughing about- I never would have guessed she would be up to such antics.

My other kids are told to get "down from there" when I find them on the arms of the couches/chairs. But yesterday, for this moment, I just had to grab my camera. By the time I got back to take pictures, Wyndham was no longer just sitting and wiggling her fingers in the air at her reflection in the mirror, but she had {almost} held her breath and mustered enough courage and she was 'sliding down' onto two pillows and onto the couch cushion. It's about an 18 inch 'drop' to the seat...but her shrieks of laughter made it seem as though she was riding the world's biggest roller coaster! She was laughing so hard when she 'landed' that she had to stop and breathe 'on purpose'. It was literally magic to me to watch it all unfold.

She finally stopped laughing and turned and in a serious manner climbed back up onto the arm of the couch. It took some effort on her part. She sat there and bounced and then her laughter started to return and then after a couple of minutes she slid down onto the seat cushion once again. Her mood went from one of almost panic/fear to one of the most pure kinds of laughter that there is each time she climbed back up and slid back down.

I think she did it 7 or 8 times total. It was one of her shining moments in life; I must say.

Some of you are new readers, some of you just don't know the 'whole' story as I don't go into extensive details in regards to Wyndham's condition, but it is really the heart of the matter here today. It's hard to summarize her life in a single blogpost, but I'll try to at least bring some of you up to speed. At the time of our incident, Wyndham was just under 7 months old and she received a closed-head injury. (She is 6 and 3/4 now.) She was not expected to survive those injuries, but she did. She has had ongoing issues with gross motor, muscle tone, speech/language development and physical growth and thus has been in rehab and therapy since we took her home from the hospital originally in August 2001. It has been a constant part of our lives- we have logged more hours in doctor appts., in ER's, and in therapy sessions than I could begin to count. At age 2 Wyndham weighed 14 pounds. She gets a shot for growth everyday and likely will get them for the rest of her life. She sat up around age 2 1/2. At age 4 and 3/4 Wyndham hit a major milestone and began to learn how to walk. She went to preschool for two years and attends kindergarten with a personal assistant this year- she's in a 'regular' class and doing very well.

She has caught up in growth quite a bit in the past 2 years and 'looks like' a normal kid in class now. She comprehends fairly close to her age appropriate level. Meaning, when you tell her to do something, or when you ask her if she wants milk or juice, she understands. She can change the channel on tv and start a dvd if she wants. She can open the fridge door and she has likes and dislikes {her favorite color is orange}. =) In many ways she seems very 'normal'.

But on the otherhand, she has challenges in her life that other kids her age have never had to or ever will face. Things like aversions to certain textures or noises...things that make her feel 'threatened'- especially in new/different environments. We're still in the process of getting her potty-trained. Her greatest challenge at this point is her ability to speak.

While her comprehension is very good, her speech development presents at a 6 month old level right now. Although she has said a few words, that's just where she falls in the language assesment. She has gotten much more vocal and 'verbal' in the past few years, and she has been learning sign language as her means of communication. It has been something where we're not doing a formal program, but instead just learning signs that help her to make choices and give her the ability to express herself a little bit and also for the rest of us to be able to put words to the 'world around us'...like colors and animals and foods and the alphabet. That sort of thing. She has done really well with learning signs, but still, because of the type of brain trauma she received, her challenge is using them on her own. She makes progress each and every week, and has in the last year grown a lot with her ability to show you what she wants and to initiate signs or point to something she wants instead of always just waiting for us to ask her. We are waiting for a communication device which we are excited about. The hope is that it will give 'her a voice' and open up the communication both ways- especially when she is around people who don't know sign language.

I had gotten some emails and comments recently about Wyndham, and after this big event yesterday, of climbing on the couch and sliding down and the fun she had in that moment, I just felt it was the perfect time to let you into her 'world' a little bit more.

I never imagined my life with some of the challenges and issues we have gone through and continue to face each day, but I have to say that it has probably been one of the best things to happen in my life. Not that we have had to deal with pain and injuries and trauma, but for the fact that it put life in a new perspective for me. It has made be more patient and strong at the same time. It has shown me that there is SO much blessing in life when we just stop and pay attention.

My life was fairly easy and was whizzing by me in a blur before Teagan died. Now the little stuff has become some of the greatest highlights to date. I wrote in a journal shortly after our trauma that "life would forever be tainted for me"...no matter how great the day went. I just couldn't imagine seeing beauty or happiness ever again, without having tears and heartache rushing to the forefront of my mind because of Teagan's death and all that we would face in life as a result- most of the challenges would be physical and emotional injuries and scars.

But because of Wyndham and the triumphs she has made, I can honestly say that I no longer believe the words I wrote. Life can be and IS beautiful and graced with blessing and happiness even along the long, broken road that our family is on. I am amazed to have a 'front seat' at some of these events. I cooked dinner last night with a knot in my throat, not because this amazing moment was somehow 'tainted' by our tragedy...but rather because it would have been practically meaningless without it.

Teagan is my angel in Heaven as I go about my days...somewhere her spirit soars. But I have realized many times now, that Wyndham is equally an angel in my life...and her spirit soars too.