Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Making your heart His home...

I was singing along and listening to the words of an older song by Watermark, "My Heart, Your Home" and for a couple of days now I have been praying about what that means for me. This post is just my thoughts as I think them through...take them or leave them. Or add to them in the comments, if you're moved to do so. =)
I strive everyday to seek to live for God and what He desires in my life. I admit, somedays... MOST days, I fall short and oftentimes I even fall backwards! It is no easy task to try to live a life worthy of what God has called any of us to... being a son or daughter of the Most High One is the ultimate challenge. Yet it is the very reason God created us- He longs to call us His own.
That thought alone can make some want to run the other way- I have been there in my life at times too. That feeling that I will never "be good enough" or that my life is so far from holiness that it seems to not even be worth my effort to try is one that comes and goes- still. It is a struggle to understand the depth of God's love and how He has enough grace to 'cover me'. But that is what the Bible says- Christ died for ALL of us and longs for us to embrace His sacrifice so that we can live as His children.
I've got lots of those (kids), so it is through my role as a mom that I am trying to see and understand more fully how God loves me and what He wants our relationship to be from day to day. My house is lived is a bit of a mess- daily. If it weren't for me, the kids would have it in near shambles...they are young and have alot to learn about being 'tidy'. Yet at the same time, this is where they are most comfortable and free to be themselves. They are learning expectations and finding out what their interests and gifts are in their young lives. When they 'mess things up' or make mistakes, I am often right there to help clean the messes up or to offer guidance and correction. I am happy to be part of their learning process; there is joy in seeing them grow and learn.
Our house is the place where my kids know they are secure and loved no matter what. I hope that they know that they can be open and honest and transparent with their thoughts, emotions, hopes, fears and dreams. In that same way, I can't help but think that this is exactly what God desires from each of us in our relationship with Him. As our Creator and Father, He knows us more than we know ourselves...just like I know and understand my own kids and their strengths and weaknesses more than they can see from their young persepctive. As they grow, and as I grow, I can understand this relationship between myself and God so much more. It is starting to make sense to me that God doesn't want to just be in my thoughts and life on Sunday morning, or when the going gets tough and I feel the need to come to Him in prayer for help. I am beginning to understand and appreciate that He longs to be in every little and every big aspect of my well as everything in between. Not in a way that 'controls' my every move, but in a way that He is a part of my decisions- more that He is 'considered' in my thoughts and deeds out of my love for Him and the realization that HE knows what's best for me. No matter what.
I was thinking about how I would be scouring and cleaning every nook and cranny if I knew that God was coming over to my house today. The fact is I claim that He lives in my life- and therefore I should be ready to 'entertain Him' any time- day or night, tidy or not. If my parents were to drop in unexpected, I would be simply delighted to have them here, and I know they would not judge me for having the shelves dusted or the floors vacuumed. They would be welcome here and I would embrace them and invite them in and it would make my day to have them here. I want my relationship to God to reflect this same desire. I long to live a life that is pleasing to that is inviting and says, "God, you are welcome here today and everyday; it may not be spotless around here, but I am happy that you are here and I appreciate that you love and care for me and you don't judge me." I thank God for His unconditional love and His grace and mercy in my life- that He is willing to live in my heart knowing full well that I make mistakes and messes along the way is humbling, and yet it is so freeing at the same time.
It makes me feel like a kid again. There is nothing I can do- nothing can change the way God sees me and He loves me no matter what. I hope today God will feel a bit more 'at home' in my heart. It may not be the best on the block or the ultimate 'Parade of Homes'....but it's open to Him and from what I know about Him...that's all He requires from me anyway.
Thank you God for your unending love and grace in me. I do not deserve it...but I thank you for it, and I invite you to be at home in my heart today and always.


Anonymous said...

hi Jody,

your post struck a chord with me. I have been thinking lately that God feels about me like i feel about my kids. For some reason, this makes me feel like i am ok. Thanks for sharing you!

Jessica said...

Hey girl - do you have watermark's album the Purest Place? If you don't, you definitely need to get it. You should also pick up the Robbie Seay Band's new album. It is one of the best worship/rock albums I have ever heard. I know you will LOVE it.

Tina Vega said...

I've been feeling noticeably IMPERFECT lately; I haven't been spending as much time with Him and feel it is starting to show in my actions. What a wonderful reminder that He's there to help me "clean up my mess"... to pick up the pieces and try again. Thank you, Jody!

Brittany said...

Your post was perfect for me to hear this morning. I am a mother of 3, ages 5,4 and 3 and one on the way and my house seems to always be a mess. It's so easy to get frustrated and lose your patience sometimes. You remind me to slow down and savor every moment, even at the most chaotic times. I love your perspective on life. You are so positive and bring such inspiration to me. I found your blog from a link from Kayla Aimees blog. Your life story has truly touched and changed me. I love the thought of inviting God into your home, knowing he'll love being there, clean or not. You had me in tears this morning. God Bless you for your beautiful spirit and awesome faith in Him.