That's all I can think of when I think of my blog lately. I am busier with work and class schedules and I can honestly say it is a challenge for me to be out of my house for more than an hour each day! I didn't realize how much of a home-body and 'quiet' person I am...{my sisters and a few of my friends are probably laughing at that statement!} but having to hang out with kids (young kids; K-2nd grade) for at least 3 hours per week and then to teach some senior high students a few afternoons each week is really draining on me. It's not that I don't have 'material' to blog, or pictures to post (I went on the kindergarten field trip to a local dairy farm operation yesterday...LOTS of pics!), but rather my mind has so much going on I am not even keeping up. I don't know how people do it with more demanding lives than mine. Seriously. =)
Then the other part of me has had a spiritual struggel going on. I have really tried to focus on living my life as a daily sacrifice to God and others the past several months, and part of me is pleased with the spiritual growth that has occured in my heart and life...while another part of me is overwhelmed at the reality that I will never be able to give enough of myself away...still another part of me says, "You are just you. You are nothing on your own." and that thought sends me back to the Word and thanking God for His grace and mercy, while at the same time struggling with what to do with myself now that I claim this undeserving gift.
I know that some of the people who read here understand that free gift and the responsibility that comes with it. It is one of the reasons I try to keep up with my blog so often and to share the ups and downs- the Joys and sorrows of my life. I KNOW that I am living life in light of an eternal salvation and that brings me unspeakable joy and peace. I know that it is because of this gift that I am forgiven and free and the blessing and knowledge of that inside of me just wants to spill over into all parts of my life and I don't want to keep it all inside! I want others to know, not just the things I do...but why I do them. In addition, I want everyone to know that what I have to be excited about, and to have joy and peace and Hope about, is not exclusive to me. It is available to anyone who is willing to ask and receive.
Therein lies my spiritual struggle. I live a life of peace, contentment and Joy {yet still have occasional days where a bad attitude jumps up from out of nowhere and threatens to steal it all away!} through nothing I have done on my own. I have simply opened my heart, soul and mind to God and have accepted Him at His Word. In so doing, I have an eternal Hope and future, but I also sense that life is fleeting and my desire grows more deeply and more urgently to have others come to know this same faith in which I live each day.
I'm trying to seek God and His will for my life. The things I do each day I do in hope that in some small way they will be evidence to those who question...to those who don't have a solid faith, but yet long to believe and to know the Truth. How teaching classes and packing lunches and scrapping and loving my kids and husband and getting groceries and blogging fit into all of that is the part that's not always clear. Well, some things are...but others are a bit hazy.
That's what's going on in my heart and mind. And to think some of you have checked back here just for this. =) It's not really all that exciting...it's just what's real in my life at this moment. Right Now.
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8 comments:
That's why we visit you, Jodi...because you are real and speak from the heart!
I am always inspired by your willingness to share it all. I love your blog!!
Also, in my own life I find that the spiritual struggle comes up most often for me when I am up to something big in my life, something bigger than I am. Then I often try to take back the reigns & slow things down. I have to remember it really isn't up to me.
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself.
laura
Thanks for sharing that - it's something God and I have been talking about lately. I want to live my life for him and it is a challenge to always make sure that all parts of my life honor him - even the boring housewife stuff. My biggest concern is that my scrapbooking will honor Him and not prevent me from doing other things for Him - like teaching Sunday School.
Sorry - didn't mean to go on. Thanks for being so 'real' in your blog, I enjoy reading it.
Jodi, your blog is one of the highlights of my day. Your spiritual sharing is a blessing.
You are a blessing - spiritual, faithful struggles are the real part of my life right know for so many reason - your writings really hit home.
It is not always easy to remember God is in control and that He is good and we need to be faithful to that! You would think, with that understanding, that everyday life would be easier than it really is.
Thank you for your real words that are full of truth and wisdom.
Jodi! Let me just tell you that I love how open and honest you are about your faith. I share the same faith in our Lord and I have been experiencing the same spiritual struggles. And I think we all go through them at some point or another. We are human beings yet we have experienced God's grace and mercy and know salvation unlike anything that the world could ever offer. I often try to figure out how my attitude, my hobbies (scrapbooking and singing) can bring glory to Him and share the gospel to those who don't know Him. My immediate family are just a few who I am praying and trying to reach daily. (So if you ever think of me...pray for them!)
Okay long tangent *smile* Thank you for sharing what was on your heart. I will say a prayer for you today.
make your work a prayer..
WOW..Just had to say that you are a total inspiration..love your thoughts on life here..I feel the same about our purpose here..seeking God for direction about everyday life situations!! Thanks for sharing.
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