I told you that I would be reading and reflecting on different happenings in my life the past several years, so today I bring you material from a journal I wrote in before the pain of my life in 2001.
I thought you might like this analogy I wrote about back in March 2000. I was enjoying being a mom (as I do now) and had two kids and a busy household- even with just 2 kids. (Or so I thought back then!) I was writing about the activities and stages the kids were at in their lives, ages 3 (Teagan) and 1 (Brock). Teagan was a talker, a lively little girl, and full of new ideas. Brock constantly tried to keep up with her and was learning from the best.
I wrote, "I'm always so anxious for you both to learn new things to help make my life easier. But then I'm ready to go back to the way it was- where I had more control." Isn't that just the way it is for most of our kids as they grow up? We love them as babies and how helpless they are, but I'll be the first to say I'm glad babies don't stay newborns forever. I'd need sleep at sometime! It is fun to watch kids grow and learn, but it also makes one realize that they won't stay little forever. They have minds of their own, and ideas and dreams.
So the kite analogy comes in here. I wrote this after hearing a piece on the radio from Dr. Dobson on parenting and the bond between parents and kids. Parenting parallels flying a kite...
"At first you work and work just to get it off the ground. Then you let it catch some air and soon it begins to tug at the string." [I think they call that the terrible twos stage.] "You hesitate, but then you realize it's going to stay aloft-- so you let out some more string. This process continues until the kite is soaring. Note here- during adolesence the "kite" is flying so high at time that if it crashes it will be two blocks away somewhere- and it scares you to think about that! And so it goes." I added that as a mom, I felt the best part of the analogy is that I would always be the one holding the other end of the string. I would always be connected.
I guess I felt the connection and bond with my kids, way back then. Even before life threw me a curveball. I've always had my faith, and that is what has held me up each day.
I've lost a lot in my life since Teagan died, and in a sense, with Wyndham's injuries too. We've missed out on seeing their personalities develop, and their hopes and dreams lived out in full. But I'm glad I didn't sit back and wallow in my misery. Instead, Chip and I looked beyond the devastation and believed that there was more life worth living. We were blessed with two little girls, and now we're watching 4 of our kids grow and learn and tug at our heartstrings. I must say, I am glad to be the mom holding on the the end of their strings.
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5 comments:
Hey Girl!!! I thought I would check your blog to get a few last things about your MN trip. But, to my surprise, you have reminded me of the joys of parenthood and a great reminder. Thanks for that!!! Glad you made it home safely!! Love you!
What a great reminder!!!
love that analogy -- -
don't you just love reading through old journals?!
My oldest kite is currently more then two blocks away, and I hope it realizes I do have a hold on the other end of the string, and I WILL KNOW if it decides to tangle with a tree :)
Great analogies Jody! I look forward to reading your blog everyday!
Thank you for writing and sharing your heartwarming and painful experiences with the rest of us :)
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