No ordinary day...

If you've been following this blog for any length of time you just knew you'd see a picture of Teagan here today. It's her birthday, and she's in Heaven and we're down here...not my ideal way to celebrate a birthday, but someday we will all be up there with her and I can't wait!
Teagan loved a good party...balloons, presents, cake, family and friends. However, she had a thing about growing up. When she turned four, she said to me over and over, "I just want to be four forever." I didn't understand why she would say this. I would try to talk her out of it. I'd tell her she was wrong and that it really was so great to grow up and do big people things. I told her how beautiful she was going to look , especially dressed like a princess in her wedding gown someday.
Teagan stood firm no matter what I said, and simply said, "I just want to be four forever." She had two separate birthday parties when she turned four. Twice she got to blow out the candles on her cake. I know in my heart when she closed her eyes and made a wish that she wished "to be four forever". She was killed in July that summer. One of the first things that I thought of when the doctors told me she was gone was, "She got her wish...she gets to be four forever." Maybe that's why I am able to celebrate her birthdays with happiness. I don't know- but it still gives me an occasional chill when I hear her voice saying those words in my head. I know that Heaven is where we all hope to be someday- and she's already there- so I live with an inner sense of peace everyday.
We have lots of big purple balloons at our house today {thank you, Rachael & Emily!!} and the girls definitely know something is going on- but they probably just think it's their crazy momma doing crazy things again. They had their swimsuits and sunglasses on by breakfast and it's been a fairly happy place to be today-a far cry to how we were all feeling this time last week! [If you remember, Wyndham spent the afternoon in the ER on IVs.] Brock was an excited kid when he got a purple lightsaber from Teagan on HER birthday. What a great big sister she is- all the way from Heaven. I even got the coolest pair of purple Victoria Secret loungepants. It's amazing to me how when I set out to find or create joy- that it actually works and comes back to me more than I could have expected.
I hope that you find this to be true in your own life. There is joy and goodness and peace all around. No matter the day, no matter your circumstance- these things are out there, and they are available to everyone of us. Today I've received love, peace, joy and goodness- all in memory of my little girl who had more joy, love and goodness in the 4 short years she had on this earth, than some people have in their whole lifetime. She even got her wish. "Happy birthday, Teagan" from a Mom who keeps getting more joy and love and goodness out of life than I ever deserved. The sun has beamed down on me all day- You and all your angel friends must be smiling and having the party of your life. Thanks for never leaving my heart and soul!