I'm no Tara Whitney, but...

For those of you who don't know who Tara is- she is a wonderful photographer and mother, who happens to capture life in really casual, beautiful pictures. I love the way she frames her pictures. I love the way she captures a certain feel. I can't do it like she can. I've tried. I just don't have the knowledge and experience and warm California beaches to photograph my subjects at. But what I can do is take pictures. So I take a ton of them.
These are a couple of pictures I took of Ava last week after I dressed her up as a princess and hoped to get some shots of her smiling- close up. No such luck. She just doesn't like when I get the camera out and turn it on her. Apparantly I've done it too many times already- the novelty has worn off.
Two years ago at this time I was being admitted to the hospital to give birth to Ava. I was probably being very nice to the hospital staff and my husband, as the labor was in it's early stages and I'm usually fairly nice until about 5-6 cm. I remember the experience very clearly. Although this was my fifth go at it- it didn't matter. It was as exhilarating and memorable as the first. I have a fondness for the movie "Big Daddy" starring Adam Sandler, because it was playing during my labor. And parts of it even made me laugh, despite the IV and the contractions I was having at the time. [side note here: For me Adam Sandler was comical during labor and delivery; Al Roker was not- Al Roker was in fact, far from funny, and particularly annoying at times during the peak of contractions. If you are planning on having a baby soon, I recommend you stay away from the Today Show and Food Network- stay far away. Sorry Mr. Roker.]
Back to my story. So I was just reflecting on the fact that Ava was born nearly two years ago...her birthday will be tomorrow, and I remember that day so clearly. I don't miss the way I looked and how much I weighed. I look back and think of how lucky I was to get such a sweet little baby girl.
I cried when I held her not just because she was finally here- but because she was the second little girl to come into my life after losing Teagan. We didn't "plan" her. We weren't "trying" to get her. In fact, both Ava and Isabella were "surprises" in our lives. I know they are both meant to be in our lives. I feel like the luckiest Mom to have them as my own. I wouldn't trade a minute of their lives for anything.
So, my princess Ava turns two tomorrow. My other princess Teagan's birthday is on Saturday, March 18th. If she were here with us, she would be turning nine. We will celebrate both Ava and Teagan this week. It's a happy time and yet it makes me think deeply about how life could be, should be or would be. I've come to realize that if I could change things that have happened in my life, I would. I've also come to realize that because I can't change certain things, accepting reality is the best thing I can do in life. I've realized that by accepting life as it has come, has allowed me to live with joy and I've gotten unexpected gifts along the way. Ava is one of those gifts. If I could change my present life, I wouldn't.