Friday, September 14, 2012

Sometimes I think my biggest issue in life...



We are living in a beautiful rental home right now, awaiting the sale of our home in Michigan. We've been in this house just a few days shy of nine months now. Most of the people in our small town have been very warm and welcoming. But we have a young couple living next door to us. Our front step is probably 10 yards from their driveway. We have them come and go a hundred times or more. We have large, full-sized windows that wrap arund the side of our home that faces theirs. We spend a lot of time in this living room. It's hard to not notice when they come and go.
And yet, not once, in 9 months, have they said hello. Only 3 times have they responded to our waves. And when I say "our waves", I am talking about when the kids or I are sitting on the front step blowing bubbles or eating string cheese or any other snack outside. They look over, but quickly turn away. We have never imposed on their property. We have never been obnoxious- at least from my perspective. =)
I have tried to teach my kids to treat others with kindness and respect. I know from experience that you also cannot possibly know what another person is feeling or thinking. But I still believe in a good old-fashioned neighborly hello and a response to a friendly wave.
I tried on another occasion to bring a loaf of banana bread to this young couple. I know a few things about them. He is an electrician; he drives the company van. They are very particular. They keep their {white} cars washed and spotless. They edge their lawn a few times in the summer. The man rides an orange motorcycle most often on weekends. The woman rides a bicycle with a wicker basket in front. She often wears a colorful scarf. And/or sunglasses.
The thing is, they seem so 'normal' and so I just assume in our small community and in the family-type neighborhood in which we live that they would respond to friendly gestures. It feels "odd" to me that we have lived and seen them and know lots of little things about them- bu have never exchanged names or hellos. Or bread. =)
Yesterday I wrapped up a little loaf of pumpkin bread and attached a small tag to it and set it on my counter to bring to them when they got home. It just so happened that they didn't return until after dark. So my attempt at being a nice neighbor fell to the wayside.
Chip has told me to just "drop it". Get over the fact that they don't want any type of relationship with their neighbors and let them be. I feel bad that we live in a society where people no longer feel the need to be 'social'. Given the realm of "social media" and the way people connect all over the world, to me it is a sad testament that online relationships and virutal friendships can and have and are easily replacing "real life" relationships. I just think it's sort of a sad reality that people can be so aloof that they can't even wave.
I realize that maybe one of my big "issues" in life is that I sometimes 'care too much'. I get that I am a people person and I love that everyone has a story. I love that we can be "total opposites" and yet be best friends, or we can be so much alike that we laugh and point fingers at our own quirks. I have many. I am not always the best friend. Both online and in real life. But I do hope that I never become so shut out to people around me that I can't respond to their waves of hello. And in so doing, quite possibly miss out on a little home-baked goodness too.

7 comments:

Cheryl said...

I say if you are feeling motivated to give it to them, it should still be fresh today. The worst that can happen is it will be really awkward and they never speak to you again, the best thing is that you might find that they could use a neighbor who is willing to step out of her comfort zone to say hi and get to know them :)

I can't tell you how many of my neighbors are the type that don't say very much in passing, but if you take a few minutes and make it a point to stop and strike up a conversation once in a while, they are, in some cases, really in need of a good neighbor.

Also, if you extend your hand to your neighbor, think of what it teaches your children...and if the neighbors don't respond favorably, the way you react could be another great lesson for your kids.

Blessings to you,
Cheryl

Beck said...

Hi Jody! I've read for a while, but don't know that I've ever commented. Anyhow, this post resonated with me as I've felt really convicted recently to attempt to connect more with my neighbors. I want to encourage you to keep up the friendly gestures! Aside from the good-neighbor behavior it teaches the kids, it DOES show these neighbors they're cared about, regardless of their response. I, too, find it sad that an increasing portion of the population only feels comfortable being "social" in front of a glowing rectangle, but I read a quote the other day that I keep flashing back to regarding my own unfriendly neighbors: "Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you- not because they are nice, but because you are."

:)

Jo's Corner said...

Hi Jodi ~ It is sad that we can become closer to our web friends, than those who live within feet of us. Just know that I would wave! And, roll my wheelchair over to share that string cheese! : ) Keep teaching your precious children about being kind to all.
That will be something they carry into their adult lives and will create deep friendships.
Hugs ~ Jo

Regina said...

We have the same strange thing with one of our neighbour couples. We absolutely do not understand what might have gone wrong. We only can accept it and have a lovely relationship with the other neighbours in the street.....

Denise said...

Jody I think it's wonderful for you to keep trying. Who knows what they are thinking, feeling. Better to just keep being cheerful and neighborly regardless which is exactly what you are doing. I will take that pumpkin bread! :)

Anonymous said...

Just randomly throwing this out there, maybe its the kids. If they have been trying to have a baby for a while, or can't have a baby, it may be hard for them to see your beautiful family. Just an observation. Maybe they don't mean to be off-putting, they just don't want to be friendly. I wouldn't give up on them, just don't assume its something you have done.

Peg said...

Anonymous said what I was thinking...