Thursday, April 19, 2012
Not quite home.
The top three pictures are of our house back in Michigan. The one we still need to sell. The one that still "feels like home", if you ask me. The fourth picture is of the kitchen we have right now. It's big and grand and has a lot of "upgrades". I thought I would give an update about our home situation since this week marks 4 months since we moved from Michigan to Minnesota.
A lot of people keep asking, "Are you all settled in now?". The answer is no. We are SO grateful for the home we are in and the fact that we get to rent it at all. We prayed hard to get in this house- it wasn't technically on the market for renting at the time we were looking and needing it to be. So the fact that we were able to rent it and be here is a blessing and an answer to prayer. We have more than enough space and it is very comfortable for our family.
And here's the thing. I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I am not. I'm just sharing my heart and how I feel right now. I feel torn. That's the best way I can say it. Like I said, I am so glad that God opened the hearts of the home owners that they were willing to rent this place to us. But...
I still miss our former house. It too met a lot of our needs. It wasn't as big or as grand or gourmet. But it was a great place and had a lot of things about it that met our needs even moreso than this current house does. So that's where my feelings come from.
Trusting that God knows best even when we haven't hardly had a single bit of interest on our home in Michigan than needs selling, and shelling out two house payments each month is a hard thing to trust in. His ways. I've blogged so much about trusting His higher ways. And I do. We do. It just seems like He would find a buyer at a decent price and allow us to find a home that suits our needs at a decent price on this end of things too. We're "in limbo" as people often say right now. And I am learning that I don't function at my best when I'm "in limbo". I like to make our space our own. I wish the kids could unpack all their stuff and feel like this place is more like their 'old place'. More like home. But the fact is we will be moving again at some point and so we are keeping lots and lots of stuff in boxes. We keeping the walls bare and just living in the space- but not changing anything about it to make it feel like home.
So that's been hard on all of us for four months. It adds a dimension of stress that I never thought about as we prepared to move. The good news is that the more we have been in this place, the more we are finding out what we do or don't want in our next place. Hopefully that will help our next home purchase to be even more of what we want and need and therby it will feel more like home soon after we move in.
The other really big thing I am learning is that a house is a house. What has really been helping all of us to feel 'settled' in our new place is the people that have been opening their hearts to us and building friendships with each of us. That has been the biggest blessing of all in this major move. The boxes are still stacked in the garage. The house in Michigan still sits empty and takes a portion of our income each month. But even still, I can just tell that God is in this move and He has our best interest at heart. Even when I would do things differently right now. The friends we have been making and the ways we have been shown kindness truly gives us a peace that God has us right where He wants us right now. I don't know how much longer we will have to wait on His timing for the move and home sale...but I can tell you that I am sure it will happen exactly when He wants it to. Until then, even though we're not quite home, we are leaving our fingerprints all over this place and we're doing our best to not miss our old home at the same time.
I can only imagine that this is a tiny foretaste of what living here on earth is like compared to the day when we will finally be home in Heaven. There's a lot to love down here. But this isn't home. When we finally reach our real home, it will truly be like no other place we've ever been. It's going to be Home sweet Home forever!