Special connections.

I have had several emails in the past few weeks as well as a few comments asking me different things about Wyndham and her special needs. I have no problem talking about her condition and have doneso in posts here from time to time. Apparantly there are quite a few 'new people' reading and so I thought I would just give some details and a little update on how Wyndham is doing these days.
The photos you see here were taken just today. I thought they were special {as I think ALL the photos I take are special} but moreso because they capture Wyndham and her growing connection or understanding of who Crew is on our lives and hers. I was going to just snap some photos of Wyndham in her room, so I laid Crew done on her bed while she did a short photoshoot. Of course I had to snap some of Crew too, but I loved that I got a few of the two kids together.
I asked Wyndham if it was okay that Crew was sleeping on her bed and she flashed me a big grin. I knew that smile meant "yes". She is getting more and more comfortable with having a baby in the house, and even getting more and more interested in him when he squirms or squeaks or just sleeps. I didn't capture the kiss she gave him in that one picture, but it was very sweet and gentle and it's obvious that she is loving him more and more each day. Just like the rest of us.
We often 'forget' that Wyndham has 'special needs' and I write special in quotes because I really think all my kids have special needs- Wyndham's are just more pronounced and often take medical interventions and extra resources. Her issues came about as a result of a closed-head injury which she received at the time of our incident in which Teagan was killed and the rest of us injured at the restaurant back in July 2001. Wyndham was strapped in an infant carseat and was just shy of 7 months old, and weighed about 9 pounds. She was small but was meeting milestones and doing very well with her development. With her head injury, she spent several weeks on life support and ultimately ended up having brain surgery and a permanent shunt placed in her head.
Based on the severity and location of her internal brain bleeding, the neurosurgeons were not all that promising of her prognosis. Some just told us, "she'll likely never walk or talk", one said, "she's retarded" and then one told us she couldn't predict how or what Wyndham was capable of learning or understanding, but that the best thing we could do for her would be "to treat her as normally as you can and wait and see what happens". That's basically what we have done for the past 7 years with Wyndham. She has been in ongoing therapy since leaving the hospital in August of 2001.
We've been amazed at times at the progress and things she has learned and mastered, including walking at age 4 and 3/4 years old. Nobody tries harder to meet her goals and 'be like the other kids' than Wydham. She pushes herself more than I would, if I were her, and rarely "complains"- even if she doesn't like what she has to do.
Her speech is her biggest issue at this point. She has been learning American Sign Language for a couple of years now and knows more than 300 signs. However, she rarely uses them unless she is prompted to do so. Meaning, she can be dying of thirst and even though she knows the sign for drink or even specific types of drinks (ie. water, milk, juice), she will go thristy rather than show you she needs a drink. There is a big disconnect as a result of her head trauma which somehow blocks the messages from getting out. Wyndham can hear fine and she also makes sounds- she laughs and hums and mimics and even has said a few words, but we don't know if she will ever talk fully or not. We keep working on that and we are always hopeful!
For those of you who have asked about sign language, I recommend "Signing Times" as a resource for learning sign language as well as for great products to enhance learning. Wyndham has several dvd's and they have been so good for her, for me, and for the rest of the kids to learn basic words and phrases. There are also some great books available that make it easy to learn the basics. I encourage anyone to learn the alphabet and simple signs- it seems like more and more people are using sign these days for many reasons. One of the biggest concerns for Wyndham is that she is learning lots of signs, but that creates a growing gap in the way others can communicate back to her. The more people that know and use sign around her, the more it reinforces what she knows and opens doors for two-way communication.
I never thought I would be a mom of a handicapped child. Oftentimes when I put the little hanger up on my rear-view mirror I feel sort of 'funny'. I don't always feel like Wyndham fits the typical profile of handicapped, and yet technically she does. We have tried so hard as a family to 'be normal' and to just do all the things we would usually do, and yet there are things that are challenging to us and still cause us to be 'labeled'.
I hope that sheds a bit of light on our situtation for some of you new readers. We thank God for sparing Wyndham's life even though we have had to struggle with her and she has had some uphill battles and many setbacks through the years. We know that God has allowed her to overcome so much and we love that He has healed her in many ways. She is such an easy-going girl much of thetime, and she brings lots of joy and happiness and smiles to the people around her each day. She attends half-day kindergarten [3 days a week] in a regular classroom, she has therapy [PT, OT and speech] 3 afternoons a week, and then works with an independant assistant 2 afternoons a week. So she is busy learning all the time.
We always apprecaite prayers for her health and growth and learning. We love that she is doing so well right now and really, if you saw our family out and about, you would likely think we are just a 'normal family'. We have all worked hard to pull that off. =) Hopefully we will look back and see that some of these special challenges have not only been overcome, but have also allowed all of us to make special connections with others we might never have had the opportunity of meeting in life. Wyndham's needs have made us more aware and more sensative to others, and even though I don't wish special needs/handicaps on anyone, I have to admit in many ways they have been very good for all of our family. For that we have been changed forever and we feel blessed to have such special needs.