A tale of two ladies-

I'm no Charles Dickens and don't intend this post to be a great literary piece, but just had to share this real-life story that played itself out in my life last Thursday morning as I headed to my weekly doctor appointment for a check-up, due to late-stage pregnancy. If you aren't familiar with Dickens' work, his Tale of Two Cities starts out this way, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times".
That's where I draw the title for this post- talk about a contrast in people/conversations within just moments of each other! Here is a bit of those conversations that I think taught me a lot in just a short amount of time.
I stood for just a moment waiting for the elevator door to open and as I stepped inside another 30-something, business-dressed woman walked quickly up to the door and I held it as she stepped inside. She was carrying a pie in a box and smiled at me as the doors shut.
"How long until your baby is born?" she asked me. I said, "one week".
She looked at me with her eyes growing larger and said, "Oh wow! I would have never guessed your due in a week. You look great!"
"Thank you", I replied.
"So", she continued, "Is this your first?"
"No", I said.
"Second?", she asked.
"Nope", I replied.
"This is your third?", she inquired.
"No. This is actually baby number 6 for me", I answered.
We were only up to the second floor at this time and still had one more to go before our elevator stop.
"Good for you!", she said with a big grin on her face, "do you know what you're having?".
"Yes, it's a boy, this will be my second boy".
"Well," she said as the elevator came to a stop, "I am so happy for you and think you look amazing...I really applaud you and wish you the best...how exciting!".
"Thank you", I said again.
Then as we walked down the hallway toward the offices, we talked about baby names for a moment and she smiled and said once more just before we parted ways, "I just think it's wonderful and I really think you look terrific, good luck with everything!", and then I was at my destination.
I was still feeling good after checking in and finding a seat, when a moment or two later, a more elderly woman [I'm guessing her age to be young- 70's, since I have a parent and inlaws in their 60's and I don't want to say "an older woman"- but she was definitely older] =), came and took a seat just two spots from me. I should tell you that the whole waiting room was open at this time; I was the only person there other than her in the room. SO, as soon as that happened I picked up a magazine next to me and hoped I would find something REALLY interesting or at least appear that I was deep into reading about the lastest kids' room decor.
Apparantly I am not a very good actor, because she started right in...
"You'd think they'd at least have a hot pot of coffee for us to grab a cup while we wait this early in the day".
"Hmmmm, I guess they figure we get our own breakfast before we come in", I replied.
I guess I must have said it really nicely, because she wanted to keep talking.
I didn't look up, hoping that was the end of our conversation and I could just savor the one I had previous to this for another moment.
"How do you wear such high heels?", she asked me, as she looked at my crossed legs/feet, "don't those big wedges hurt your feet?"
"Not after the first time I broke them in", I answered, "they're actually one of my more comfortable pair".
"Well,", she went on, "I guess they say that a little heel is good for you, but I've never found anything that works. They all hurt my feet."
I turned the page of my magazine.
"So, how soon until your baby is due", she asked.
"Next week", I replied, still not hardly looking up from my magazine. I felt like the rudest person on the planet, but I knew she would have no problem talking, asking and probing no matter if I looked up or not. So I just kept turning pages thinking she would get bored with me or I would get called back by my nurse.
"From where I'm sitting, I can't even tell you're pregnant...this must be your first baby, huh?!", she stated.
"No", I said.
"So it's your second one, huh?!", she replied.
Again, I replied, "no".
"Well,", she said, both my daughter-in-laws are expecting their second and they're both due later than you and they're both much bigger than you already. So...three kids, huh."
This was the first time in the conversation I actually felt like offering more information, so I replied, "Actually this is my 6th baby and it's a boy".
Her mouth basically dropped open, but unlike the woman I had just had an engaging conversation with in the elevator and through the hall, her face nearly twisted up.
"Six kids! I'm expecting my 5th and 6th grandchildren and I think that's too many", she said.
"I do a lot of laundry, that's for certain," I said looking at her; smiling.
"How many do you plan on having?", she asked me, which personally I didn't feel I needed to answer, but I didn't see the nurse anywhere near the door, so I closed my magazine and said, "We thought we were done three babies ago, but here we are expecting baby #6."
"See?, " she said, "that's the problem; people don't think things through, and I don't think my kids can even handle two...that's where the problems are...people don't think anymore."
I felt like picking up the magazine again, but didn't. I just looked at her for a moment and then reached in my purse to check the time on my cell phone.
I guess it was too much for her, because she suddenly started talking directly at me in a much more "concerned" voice.
"Hmmmph", she started, "Don't people know about the economy these days? Kids aren't cheap and the price of stuff keeps going up...and there are people losing jobs in Michigan every day, and the national unemployment rate is going up every minute! People should think things through."
I thought of a hundred things I could say to her at that moment, but just as I was about to respond, she started in again,
"My own kids can hardly afford two; I don't know how anyone expects to live in this slumping economy with more than that...this country has issues..." and she went on to name a few more.
I liked how she just kept using the term, "people", but clearly she meant "me".
I sort of wished she had stuck to the topic of shoes, and I was thinking it would be a really great thing if the office DID have a coffee pot, because that would have taken a bit of her time and she would be sipping on her cup, rather than blaming me for the fall-out of our nation and it's slowing economy at that point.
I never did respond to her concerns in regards to my pregnancy and contribution to the downfall of our economy, as the nurse opened the door with a big grin and called, "Jody, come on back with me...how are you feeling?", she asked me.
I thought of a hundred things I could say in response, and ended up saying, "About how I'd expect to feel a week before my baby is due...I have a few pains and complaints, but overall, I feel really great".
"Good for you", she said...and I set my things down to step on the scale.
* * * *
I ended up staying for an extended office visit that morning and into the afternoon and also had an ultrasound which eventually led to my induction the next morning. There were concerns with Crew's heartrate and his decreased movements and so it was determined the best plan was to start labor- even though I was a week early.
I just couldn't help but think over the conversations I had with these two women, though, and how their perspectives and opinions were so different toward me- though I had done nothing different. It sort of opened my eyes to how many of us live and respond to the world. We choose our attitudes and make up our minds sometimes, and many times we have no idea what the circumstances are behind the 'stories/people' we encounter. It made me realize I never want to be president, because just as I had done nothing different- I responded to the questions I was asked, and yet I was perceived by one person as practically the next recipient of the Mother-of-the-Year Award, and by the next person I was to blame for our nation's failing economy. =)
It made me realize that you need to know who you are and what you believe and be able to love yourself for that- and not be swayed by 'public opinion'. It made me realize that I have a big job as a mother- to instill in my children the wisdom and understanding of "the world" that sometimes its kind to you and other times it wants to bring you down.
I want them to know that they are loved unconditionally- even if they ARE the cause of a economic fall-out. I wouldn't trade them for the world! I want them to know how to love others gracefully and to respect others' opinions, even when they don't align with theirs, but to always know in their heart that many times there are two sides {or more!} to an issue and the best thing is for them to be grounded in truth and knowledge and love. That way, when someone wants to disagree or try to drag them down, they will already know who they are and what they believe and most importantly, that they are valued and appreciated- just as they are.
There you go.
My literary work of genius. Ha!=)
Not really, but for a sleep-deprived mom of 6, not too shabby either, huh?! I really just wanted to note this story for myself to be able to look back upon it, and really, it has made me smile and laugh this past week too. To think that I was less than 24-hours from giving birth and one woman couldn't have been more proud of me and another was ashamed. It was one of those things where you step back, shake your head and be thankful that you fall somewhere in the middle. I'm just lucky enough to have fallen more and more in the middle of love- with my family, my baby and a little bit more with myself- if that's okay. I think maybe that's what the elderly woman needs to do. She should buy a fancy pair of heels and dance in them in the middle of her house and just love being her. I bet she'd appreciate more things, if she could just loosen up a bit.
I hope I never get so opinonated that I blame someone for an entire nation's economy. I'd rather be the kind of person who applauds people for taking on more than I'd expect from them. And I hope to always compliment people on their shoes. =)