Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Sometimes you miss it...

I've just noticed this week, as I've unloaded and reloaded the diswasher that there are fewer sippy cups in there than 'regular' cups these days. This is a new thing, and too often this is the kind of stuff that goes unnoticed until months or years later and then we look back and see such enormous growth and change.
Ever since Teagan died {and even before then, if you read some of my old hand-written journals} I have tried to make a point of noticing the details. The little, seemingly insignificant details of our lives from day to day. Our family has never been wealthy- in monetary terms- but I have come to see how 'rich' we are and blessed as I've learned to appreciate the details and the seasons of life as we grow and learn a little bit more every single day.
I remember wanting to 'hang on to Teagan' for dear life in some respects, just days before she died. She was gearing up for preschool in a few weeks and I {and she!} were having a hard time coming to terms with such a major change. I was not ready to have her gone from our house a few hours each week. I was sad thinking about it sometimes and dreading how much I would miss her activity and energy around the house. She was one of those kids who didn't miss out on anything that was going on...and she was so happy being underfoot and 'in the way'. She was so full of life and had non-stop conversations and games and ideas coming from her heart and mind. I adored her and the way she interacted with me all day long- and Brock and Wyndham too.
I even held off taking her for the dreaded preschool physical- not just because I hated the idea of her having to get that nasty tetanus shot...but also because it would be yet another 'sign' that school was about to begin and our life would change. {She never did get that nasty tetanus shot. That thought still makes me happy when I think about it. She really did have a short, sweet life!} Now when I think back to those days, in light of how life actually played itself out for us that summer- it makes me nostalgic, for one. But two, it also makes me keenly aware of how fast time goes and how glad I am that I have been obsessed with remembering the details of our lives.
They may not matter to anyone else or even change the course of our lives to any degree. But to me they are like little nuggets of gold when you notice them or remember them. I may not be the wealthiest mom in the world. But I still have treasures and riches beyond measure when I take the time to savor the things that matter most.

11 comments:

Tami said...

A beautiful reminder. Thank you.
This hits home. My girls are 6 and 8 and I refuse to remove from our silverware drawer the colorful plastic utensils designed for chunky little hands. Or the matching plates. Or the bowls that are now too small to hold enough cereal to fill their tummies. They are colorful and they are contant reminders of wonderful memories. So they're staying. Might as well save them for the grandchildren. ;)

Heather said...

Amen!! i feel the same way and i too notice all those little changes and my heart tugs a bit. tonight my 2 year old is getting her very first haircut and the wispy baby curls will be gone...

Bird's Words said...

I had to stop shopping in the little boy's section! My son can actually now wear some things from the men's department, and I am heartbroken. I savor every moment because one day some other girl will be picking out his clothes. not too soon though....

All moments remembered said...

OH you hit on my heartstrings with this one!! I have 4 kids. 19 yr dd, 15 yr ds, 7 yr ds, 5 dd. When I look at my 19 yr old now it makes me savor every single second I have with my little ones. It goes by so fast. I have two sippy cups still in the drawer and refuse to give them up. They just make me smile every time I open the drawer. We all want our kids to grow up happy and healthy but if it could only go slow!! It goes way to fast!!

3QTGUYS said...

Yep! What a great thing to notice, as the sippy cups slip away.

Our nursery has ID bracelets, and each Sunday when you drop your child off, you pick up a bracelet with two parts. You get one, the child gets one. Then, when you pick them up, you have to match them up.

Well, when our youngest "graduated" from the pre-school dept. I told them I was keeping his last "clippy" (that's what we called it). It was such a vital part of our life for 6 years. The clippy, every Sunday, Sunday night and Wednesday night.

And, now, two years later, it still hangs on our key holder.

Sweet moments!

Thanks for sharing Jody!

The Foxes said...

Jody,
This post brought tears to my eyes. I have two boys...8 years old and 4 years old. I love them with all my heart and soul.
I just sit and stare at them sometimes when they are playing. The clock ticks away moments that will never return. I look at their precious little hands..so busy while they play.
I am a new reader to your blog, as I have read about the tragedy that you and your family have endured with the loss of your beautiful daughter Teagan. My heart breaks for you, but at the same time you inspire me. Your faith is so strong. I commend you for sharing your thoughts with us.
I'm sure you are such a blessing to so many. Including myself.
Jennifer
in Tennessee

Shauna said...

Thanks for bringing that to mind today. Take note of the details! It is important to be reminded of that sometimes! God bless!

angi said...

Little nuggets of gold...loooove it :)

Kat said...

Jody
A beautifully eloquent eulogy to a treasured daughter. Your choice of words is at once perfect and uplifting,
Thanks For sharing,
Kat

Hooliganmama said...

Thanks for such a great reminder. Bless you sweet momma.

jacki janse van rensburg said...

you are such an inspiring person! as i get to know more about you and your life, by reading some of your older blogposts, i see that GOD has blessed you by giving you the ability to find meaning and growth in even the most painful and terrible situations. and He has given you the ability to inspire countless people through your difficult journey. i love the way you can show that although you miss teagan, and you are sad for wyndham, you are also happy, and blessed, and fulfilled. sometimes people get angry when they see me having moved on. they want to see more grieving. but, one can grieve and be happy at the same time. and just because they don't see the pain all he time, it doesn't mean it is not there. it is, and it makes the happiness all the better, because i know now how special happiness is.
having lost my husband almost 6 years ago, i find myself often 'missing' the now-things. i wonder what he would have thought about our son's life, what he would have been doing today, what success he would have achieved in his career, what he would have thought about my business venture, etc. the 'if-he-was-here-now' things. hey, this is becoming a blog post in itself! i'm gonna copy it and paste it into my blog, and flesh it out. see how you inspire me?