Saturday, July 14, 2007

It hardly seems possible...


...that these pictures were taken 6 years ago today. I remembering tying that ribbon in Teagan's hair into a bow and how she was all smiles and happiness as we spent the afternoon/evening at a family wedding reception outdoors. It was a sunny day...and one of the last times that Teagan saw many of her relatives that live back in Minnesota. These are a couple of the last photos that were taken of Teagan, and how I wish I had owned a 10.3 megapixel camera back then, like I own now. The pictures I have of Teagan are not as crisp and clear as I would like. And as I looked at them today, I got a recurring knot in my throat as I realized that my memories are getting as fuzzy as some of the pictures. It makes my heart hurt, but at the same time...I realize that she's been gone longer than we had her in our life.
It hardly seems possible.
Even though the pictures and memories fade... sometimes I miss her like it was only yesterday.

38 comments:

Britney said...

i'm really sorry you're pain is so raw today jody. you're honesty definitely does you credit as I'm sure every day has a bit of a struggle in it. praying that He eases the pain today,

britney almaguer

Anonymous said...

Hi Jody ~ Just a lurker here, wishing you strength in the coming days. I can't remember what led me to your blog . . . but the raw sharing of your emotions is so true and admirable that you have this forum to get the feeling out. ~ Jodi in Oregon

Shawn said...

Sending hugs your way. The photos are beautiful. Thinking of you.

~Hugs~

Shawn

Christal said...

Your in my thoughts today Jody, and I will be thinking of you and Chip in the days to come! Hugs!

shawnna said...

Prayers for you today
July is always so bittersweet
for me as well and I am so sorry your little girl is no longer here on Earth with you

Kate said...

Jody, you'll never forget. God will keep the most precious memories of Teagan in your heart forever. Your mind may get a little fuzzy around the edges for details, but your heart will keep them crisp and safe. It's not the amount of time she spent here. It's the quality of her life with her family. How many lives were touched and how many lives you touch now. Extra special prayers for you today.

halfbakedscrapartist said...

Jody:

I am praying for you even more earnestly and frequently in these July days as the anniversary of Teagan's death nears. How you remember her is so beautiful and raw and honest. You have taught me a lot about the depth and beauty of a mother's love, as you have so many others, too.

Blessings,
Nicole

Laurie said...

Sending your prayers of comfort and strength on this difficult day and every other day! The photos are beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing those photos and your feelings.

floating-away said...

Jody,

I have been reading your blog for just over a year. I just want to say thank you for being so open with your story and life journey. Many prayers for you during these days appoaching the anniversary of Teagan's meeting with Jesus.

Amy - floating-away@hotmail.com
Indiana

Cris said...

The pictures are beautiful.

((((((((((((((Jody)))))))))))))))))

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. i am in awe at your strength...
thinking of you.

motherkearney said...

I don't know anything about you or your story, but reading this post today helps me understand more, and my heart hurts for your pain. I am sorry.

Michelle

Bethany said...

Jody,
I read your blog because you are an inspiration - your writing is beautiful and your raw emotions so moving. The pictures of Teagan are beautiful. The smile she has makes me think she must be dancing daily with Jesus in Heaven, smiling and laughing the day away. You have a beautiful family - hugs to you all, especially in the upcoming days.
~Bethany

Adrienne said...

It will always feel like yesterday, which will help the memories become crisp again, in a good way...I have been praying for all you guys this month as I know the anniversaries will always continue, until the wonderful reunion, and then new memories will begin...I pray for comfort in your hearts, peace in your minds and rest for your souls as you remember...as you always remember.
Love!
xoxox

Webgrl said...

Hugsssss. God's love is so great. He will continue to keep your little angel safe and happy and your family here on earth too.

almadr said...

just to let you know I think of you and pray for you

Anonymous said...

Hi Jody,
I live in Amsterdam, the Netherlands and stumbled upon your blog a few weeks ago.

Teagan always looks so happy and full of smiles in the pictures you post, she got to live in THE most awesome family who loved her intensely.

I'm praying for you Jody, praying that God will comfort you and give you strength.

You are an inspiration to me in the way you handle life and seem to enjoy it despite all the difficulties.

Julia.

Suzanne said...

I have no real words, just {{{hugs}}}...

Anonymous said...

Can't even imagine, Jody. Praying for you, love you. Thanks for sharing. ~Jodie R.

Denise Ward said...

I'm so glad that I found your blog--it's a daily inspiration for me. I know that your memories of Teagan will remain crisp and clear, even if the photos are a little fuzzy; those we loved so dearly are forever etched in our hearts.

a friend to knit with said...

Hi Jody,
Of course, reading this with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.

Thinking of you.......xo

~Lea~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~Lea~ said...

She was beautiful Jody. I know your heart hurts, especially around these days, and I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

HUGS-
Lea Lawson

PS: I removed my last comment because it made no sense!

Sonja said...

I can't even imagine an ounce of what you must be feeling because just reading your words knocked the breath out of me. I am praying for you and all of your family today.

kerry lynn said...

i lub you jody!!!

Karen said...

Hi Jody-this is the first time I have been to your blog -I am doing the clear tutorial on Emma's blog and saw your link- all I can say is wow! Thank you for sharing your story, your Teegan and your amazing faith. She is precious and so are your other 4! May God continue to bless you and your family. I will be praying for you. You are such and inspiration for us all!
Karen-IL

peg graham photography said...

Jody- I just want to send you hugs!

david rudd said...

Jody,

she's beautiful. thanks for letting God use your story so powerfully...

on another note: i can't find your email address. can you send it to me?

bishoprudd at gmail dot com

thanks!

Dena said...

BIG HUG!

ashlee said...

beautiful. aren't you so glad you have those pictures to jog your memories and keep them fresh? she was a beautiful girl and the memories may get fuzzy because we are only human, but the moment you see that face in heaven they will be crisp as the moment they happened. Thank you for sharing these precious parts of your life with us:)
ashlee

Anonymous said...

Jody where is this woman now that took your innocent child from you? has she ever once contacted you and apologized?

jackie carl said...

Hi Jody,

Thinking of you. Praying for you.

I just passed the 5 year anniversary of losing my dear brother. I realize it's not the same as losing a child, but the pain, heartache & irreplaceable void is still very real.

Hoping you will feel Jesus' warmth & love during your heartache.

Wishing you peace.
Love,
Jackie Carl
Marion, IN

colorfullady said...

Jody,

When the pain hits, "reasoning" doesn't make much difference does it? Only God knows the real reasons, and sometimes He chooses not to tell us why. I'll pray that you continue to trust Him with/in your pain... even if it's the pain of starting to forget.

patterns of ink said...

I never tire of hearing you talk about special days. Thank you for sharing these unforgettable details of ordinary moments and "the ache of joy."

Carrie said...

Beautiful pictures and memories and words from you. Thinking of you. Wishing you all the best, my friend.

stephanie said...

hugs and prayers to you & chip...

Gigi said...

jody...{{{{Hugs}}}}

love you
& i'm thinking & praying for you
& your family especially during these days...

here's to rainbows & wonderful little girls who light up your life even though the pictures are fuzzy :)

xoxoxox

gi

karen said...

((Hugs))