Thursday, June 07, 2007

Dreaming is easy...

I snagged a picture {with permission} from the blog of a scrapper friend (Kellidarr) of Jeanette Herdman...the idea girl behind SIStv. I had this strip of photos printed out for about a week...just waiting to be scrapped. I finally came up with the quote that I scrapped on the page...which you can see in its entirety at my SIS gallery here if you so wish.
"Realizing your dreams reveals your True Colors to the rest of the world" is a statement, which, although it is fitting here on the page for JJ, whom I have grown to admire and respect and am grateful to call her friend, is also a message that I think is one everyone needs to hear. If the message actually sinks in and begins to take shape in real life...I believe there is no limit to the possibilities and opportunities that people can achieve!
Really. You know by now that I have been on my own personal journey in life. One that has been molding and shaping me into the person I am today...and one that hopefully will continue to grow and change and make me into a better person all along the way. I sometimes look back in my life and see how many times I allowed myself to be 'shaped by others' and that makes me sad. But I realize that's a part of growing up and finding out who I am and what I believe, and certianly there are pressures from culture and from misconceptions we hold in life too often. I look back and see times in my life when I had 'crazy dreams'...and because I started to believe that they were 'too far out', I often modified them so that they weren't so far-fetched, or so they wouldn't make me 'look bad' if they didn't come to fruition. That makes me sad too. That I sometimes shattered my own dreams....
Awhile back I wakened Bella and when she opened her eyes, she said, "Mom! You just turned off my dream!" It really grabbed me, and to a four year old, it simply meant that I woke her from her Pokemon dream that she was having. I made sure to tell her that I never, ever want to 'turn off her dreams', and that I'll always want her to have dreams. But it certainly made me stop and think for a moment about how easy it is for us to actually 'turn off dreams' in our lives and in the lives of others.
I have definitely learned through the years, that dreams often take time, sacrifice and sometimes go through twists and turns before they come to life. I've learned that the better I know myself and the purpose for Living, the more easily it is for me to focus on my dreams...and the better chance I then have of seeing them happen.
I'm not really into setting lofty goals or making long lists of things I want to do before I reach an age...but I do know that my heart has things on it all the time. I am learning to think on those things, and in so doing things move from my heart to my head and then I seek to make them happen. No matter how crazy they might seem.
Like this blog. And becoming a scrapper. And the process it has been for me to love motherhood and believing in myself and feeling confident as a wife and mother. One of my favorite 'memories' and measure of just how far I have come happened with my first...when Teagan was just three weeks old. I was struggling- really struggling with all the changes that had happened in my life when she arrived. I loved her instantly, but was overwhelmed with the responsibility, sleep deprivation, being home 24/7 'alone with her' compared to working 40-50 hours a week in an office full of friends...and just feeling disconnected from Chip, from others, and from the outside world. It was a radical change for me at that time. Somedays I hardly got off the couch; I was so tired and I was just trying to get through the days.
On this particular day, I called Chip at work (which I rarely ever did!) and I think he was scared for a moment when he took my call...thinking for sure something was wrong with me or Teagan. Do you know what I was calling him for that day? I was calling and was so excited because I had made Jell-o!
I am not kidding you! I had heated water to boiling and had stirred in the gelatin and then added cool water and slipped it into the refridge for later. I had MADE something! I think back on that time in my life and who I was compared to now...a mom with one baby, living in a two-bedroom apartment with not that much stuff to make a mess....compared to the four kids I have at home now, in a big house with non-stop laundry and toys and activities all over from morning til child with extra-special needs, and a hubby who works loooong hours each week. Especially in the summer.
If you had shown me a video of my life as it is now, back in the days when I couldn't get myself off the couch- I wouldn't have believed this is me. That's how far I've come. That's how much I've grown; that's how much my experiences and perspective have shaped me.
Now, I start to feel bad when I've only done two loads of laundry in a day and the clothes don't get put away, if I miss posting on my blog, or if I don't make real mashed potatoes at dinner. That kind of thing. =)
Yet I see that it is a process. Each day I now see that I can embrace it and I challenge myself to be better from day to day, but also to not feel like a total failure if I don't accomplish everything I set out to do. I love that my dreams HAVE been modified, but that they now reflect who I am and what I want to become or see happen in life around me. I find it interesting that it has taken me so many years to see that dreams don't have to be BIG all the time...but sometimes the best dreams in life are the ones that come straight from the heart to touch others. And no matter who you are or where you're at in life, THOSE dreams can happen to anyone. You just have to believe in them and follow through.
Here's to dreaming. No matter what size those dreams may be!


Sonja said...

You know, you said your posts would get more sparse, but this one is sooo full. Thank you for these words, they are some things I am working on in my life now and they brought me to tears. I don't want it to seem like I wear a WWJD? (what would Jody do) bracelet, but reading your blog has reminded me to keep my faith at the forefront of my life and helped me work on enjoying the art and science of motherhood. Thank you, Sonja

Priya said...

Dear Jody,

I read your blog everyday. If you havent posted something new, then I just pick one of the older ones and read them. You writing is very inspirational and human. Your words touch my heart. I am not a Christian, but I do believe that there is one God and he takes care of all of us on Earth regardless of religion.
Why am I commenting today- its because your words could have been mine. Same journey- one baby, SAHM, apartment life, one car--- to two babies, house and home made food everyday (made from scratch). Except my phone call to my husband was about me actually having a bath!!
Thanks for being my word-friend,

guinever said...

Jody, I'm so glad to have discovered your blog a few weeks ago. I too am a mother of five--"four underfoot and one in heaven." It seems like the mothers I have met who have lost children are all about the child who is gone rather than focusing on their living children and husband (or maybe I just meet them at grief groups/conferences and that's the topic of conversation.) It is such a balance of remembering and grieving in hope, yet living and doing our daily tasks for our families. So, it is refreshing for me to find you. hugs to you! Guinever

shawnna said...

you are just so darn insightful - can't get enough -- GOOD STUFF
and as for your layout -- SUPER COOL commented in the SIStv gallery :D

~Lea~ said...

Hi Jody! That layout is really super cute, and I bet your friend loves it!

I love this post today, because I am a total dreamer. Now, I am a conscientious dreamer...but a dreamer nonetheless. Especially when it comes to this crazy scrapbooking world!

Have a great weekend!!! ~Lea

Shabbyjuls said...

Very inspiring thoughts..thanks!!!

Diane Dolan said...

Your post reminds me of the Mark Harris song that I sang at graduation last weekend. It's called "Find Your Wings". The chorus begins....."I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams and that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things...." You sort of are this song.

Diane Dolan (Jeanettte's sister whose house - I mean lodge - you'll be staying during the CHA show in July)

Anonymous said...

I really believe following your dreams (following your calling in life) is how we thank God for the talents he has given us...we need to USE our talents!

I don't know who the famous person is who said "never laugh at someone's dreams" but that is so true. Dreams = faith and we have to keep them going.

Karen in CA