Happiness in a can.

One of the purest forms of happiness I have found exists in a can of whipped cream. You know the kind. Our local Meijer (that's for you Susan!) had the generic version of it on sale last week for 99 cents a can. Everytime I buy Reddi- wip I am reminded of the times I was lucky enough to squirt it into my little Teagan's mouth, most often before she had even started on breakfast, much to her delight. I loved 'breaking the rules' with her and giving her a taste of goodness before she had eaten a nutritous meal, or simply for no reason at all. Just because I was learning as a first-time Mom that her happiness made me happy! I had doubts through my whole pregnancy with her, that I would be a good Mom or have anything worthwhile to pass on to my baby. I doubted that I would do everything right...that was one of my biggest fears...that I would 'mess up my kids' and they would blame me for my poor parenting skills later on in their 'messed up lives'.
What I learned with Teagan, and what I am still learning through life and many times through interactions with my kids, is that I rarely do things right, and that I do 'mess up' a lot of the time. But more importantly, I am learning that kids are very forgiving, and that my mistakes and imperfections are really opportunities for ME to grow and learn and to become a better person.
Thank goodness I have had five kids now...I have needed to do a lot of growing in my life! =) While I am no where near perfection and still fear that I am making all the wrong choices at times, I have lightened up on myself and really, sometimes I am even sort of liking the kind of Mom I have become. Not that I think I am perfect and great (or fame-addicted {wink!}) in any way...but just that I have matured and experienced enough 'small successes' to see that I just might be okay if I stay headed in the Right Direction. ('Right Direction' is capitalized, as I am referring to God being the source of my direction here.)
A couple of days ago, in one of my moments of being a 'good mom', I asked Chip to snap a picture of me and the kids as we played a simple, yet memorable game. They had actually all eaten a fairly balanced dinner this night, although Bella was ready to run from the table without first stopping by the kitchen to get her face and hands wiped clean. When I told her and the others to "line up", she first held back. However, as soon as one caught glimpse of the can of whipped cream I was holding, there was a quick change of heart (and noise level as well as lots of jumping up and down in my kitchen!). As soon as I told them the one that stands most quiet and calm gets to be 'first', they had a little incentive to actually listen to my directions.
They lined up and basically the game consists of me squirting the whipped cream into one mouth after another as they go from front to back and then work their turn back to the front spot. The fun and happiness in that moment is really priceless. For less than a buck, we entertained ourselves for a couple of minutes, we shared time being happy and seeing each other happy, and for an instant, the world was without care.
I know that the world isn't always so simple and easy and carefree. But when it happens, it is truly a beautiful thing. And maybe, just maybe, my kids will remember some of these moments of unencummbered happiness, and they will know that even though I messed up as their Mom, my intentions were always pure.

ETA: I just came back home from picking Brock up from school. I have to load up three girls to go pick up one boy, and they don't always enjoy this quick trip to school and back. Had you been at my house, you would have seen my less-than-stellar moment of motherhood, as I allowed my girls to ride to school wearing their swimming suits. (Our weather today is overcast and around 50 degrees.) If a cop had stopped me for any reason, there likely would have been looks and maybe questions. But that's exactly what I am hoping to take away from this 'reminder lesson' today.
We have choices and opportunities and sometimes we do it right the first time and things go perfectly as planned. Other times we have to settle for less, or simply let go of the expectations we've placed on ourselves and/or others. As in the case of my girls riding to school in their swimsuits. It didn't hurt anyone. It actually saved me some yelling and hassle that would have ensued had I demanded a change of clothing.
I can't stress enough, the fact is, we are all on a journey in life...living, learning, experiencing, growing, becoming, interpreting, reflecting, creating, pursuing, seeking, and a host of other things. The way I am doing that probably looks nothing like the way you are doing that. Even as I think of my own sisters...we were raised with the same rules and with similar expectations and opportunities, yet our lives are very different. Probably neither of them dragged their kids anywhere in swimming suits today. And I'm sure I win at being the biggest 'pack rat' and clutter-creator if you were to stop by our homes and see the mess of toys and things strewn across the floors.
Yet, we love one another and I consider them terrific moms and I'll bet they want the same thing for their kids as I do for mine- the best. Okay. Now I'm not sure where I was really headed when I came back to ammend this post. But I think what I was really trying to say is that happiness is real. It exists when we look for it, just as beauty is there for the taking, and that sometimes our own 'judgements' or inadequacies can hinder us from claiming what really is out there for our simple pleasure.
I hope we all "lighten up" at times to witness and experience beauty and happiness. In the process, we might just find another piece of ourself.