This one's for Chip...

[For no particular reason...but for that very fact, I share publicly a piece of me with my husband today, which can, as I see it, only enhance the meaning I wish to express to him. This may get gushy, and maybe I could be changing bed linens or doing something else constructive around our home, but I have decided this simply needs to be said.]
Dear Chip,
You probably have no idea that during the middle of the night last eve, you and I shared a deep 'spiritual' connection. I was laying wide-eyed awake next to you and just have to share some of the things that were going through my mind in those wee hours. Keep in mind, the very fact that I was tired and STILL couldn't sleep means that there was some other reason behind my being awake. Rather than get frustrated with my insomnia, I asked God to give me 'rest' in spite of my sleeplessness. That's where you, Chip, come into the picture.
I first want to tell you, "I love you". Not that you don't know that or hear it or see it in our lives from day to day, but the fact is, I love you- deeply and at the center of me. {The only other to share this place is God...but He doesn't mind sharing space.}
I don't know that I can do justice with my words here, in broad daylight, but as I lay in bed and soaked you up as you slept, it hit me how much of you I take for granted, and how much of you I love- no matter what. All of you. I love all of you, and one of the things that struck me last night was that I owe you a 'sort of apology'- thus this post and my profession of love. The things I need to apologize for are maybe things that you have never even noticed or known...like how I have washed your socks inside-out, and then thrown them in the dryer the same way. I probably put them away in the dresser many times, and you thought it was sweet of me or 'expected' (we joke about living a life like that of a 1950's family at times...hence the jab) of me; but the truth is I didn't do it with a pure heart. I washed them thinking to myself, "If he can't take his socks off the 'right way', then I'll wash them that way!" Then I go on to dry them that way, and probably let a few other 'character flaws' come to mind as I dry and fold them.
I am sorry. As I said, you probably didn't even know that this type of thing has even happened to us, but somewhere in the dark of the night, as I listened to your rythmic breaths while you slept, I had this overwhelming experience. It's been in the works for more than 11 years now...and I expect that it will continue to grow and change and mature as we do, but it couldn't have been more beautiful than the feeling that swept through me last night.
I felt a gratitude for you in my life, in so many ways. As my husband, my partner, as a Dad, as a help-mate, as a seeker, as an optimist, and so many other wonderful things and roles you play in my life. I wanted to take this space and time to make sure that you know how I feel, and that I appreciate you, and I thank God more and more each day, for bringing our lives together. I am 'in love' with who you were when we met, who you have been in and through our marriage, and who you continue to strive to be. I woke up this morning with a cold, a slight fever, a bit of a headache, but with a heart full of the deep affection I have for you. I just wanted to say it outloud... I am truly a lucky girl- for so many things. Especially that I 'get' to be the one to turn your socks right-side out and tuck them into our dresser drawer once they're clean. I love you, Chip, and I look forward to loads and loads of laundry in which I toss your dirty socks.
Thanks for being the one which my heart loves.
Unquestionably yours,
Jody