Heightened awareness.

That's what I have...heightened awareness to others' hurts. Today I am thankful for empathy. I have a lot of it, and it certainly shapes the way I think and feel- every single day.
I've had people say things in emails and comments about my 'ability to connect' to others, or that "they feel like they know me", or that it seems I operate on a 'different plane than some' as I go through life.
I write this not to be boastful in any way, however, there is a truth to those remarks. I am learning that I can't necessarily change that fact about me. Based on particular experiences in my life, I have been shaped and molded a certain way...and I continue to grow and change because of people and events around me.
I have received hundreds of emails in the past year alone, many of which have asked me for advice or help or prayer for a person's hurting soul. These emails have touched me...they have impacted me, and they have brought tears and sorrow and sometimes joy as well. Many of you have written very personal letters about your own struggles with grief, heartache, and questions of faith.
One night after reading such an email I said to Chip, "I think it's time for me to change my story at my Nitty.Gritty. blog. People are sending me emails and links and some of these stories are heartbreaking! I've 'typecasted' myself too much...they think I can fix their problems or cure their friend's grief."
I am realizing there may be more truth to that than I thought. It's not really a joke. I do have more empathy to people's hurts and grief in life. That's what happens when you live through your own grief- or any other experiences in life. It makes you more aware of people and circumstances that happen to others in similar events.
Take an example from just a couple of days ago. As my homepage loaded when I clicked on my computer, one of the first headlines I noticed was 'bus crashes in Alabama, at least two dead'. I couldn't help but click on the link and read more of the story. My heart started to throb and ache for the victims and their families who were just beginning to piece together some unbelievable life-changing realities and hurts at that time. As I read the story and saw the pictures, it brought me back to a similar time in my life when I lived through a crash and tragedy and disbelief that life can go from sunny and carefree, to shattered and painful in an instant. I began to hurt for the mothers whose kids died on the scene. Those families will be having funerals in place of a Thanksgiving meal together. Their lives suddenly took a new and painful direction.
And because of my own experiences, I could feel for their hurt and relate to some of what they are living through at this time. That's why I can say I have 'heightened awareness'. It's not something you just decide to get. It's a learned thing.
What does that have to do with being thankful? Well, I have learned {mainly} in the past year, that this empathy that I am developing and continues to grow in me is a good thing. It has helped me become a more compassionate and humble person. In the past, I probably would have hardly noticed a tragic headline. Now it is the first link I check out. I have been able to connect and touch base with people who have hurts and pains in their own life, and it makes me realize I am not alone in my grief. I have been able to share my experiences with others- who may or may not have similar stories as me, and we have learned from one another. My empathy has allowed me to see purpose or give reason to some of the pain I have had to bear. I can attribute much of the joy in my life to the empathy that grows in me. It is as though I have an 'internal scale' so to speak...I base the goodness and joy on the ordinary and routine...as opposed to how I used to live. I realize life can be difficult, and that realization makes me appreciate the day to day in a much more glorious state. {Are you following this logic...or am I crazy?!}
I think you can see it and understand it to a certain degree, even if your life hasn't been as overwhelmingly heartbreaking as my own. And that's a big reason why I share my story and myself with as many people as I can touch. I have made the decision to share my experiences, so that in turn you can live and learn through them, and hopefully develop things like compassion, empathy, humility and faith just by seeing or reading about me. I realize that my 'knowledge' can help others grow and learn- without having to actually 'live through' the real-life experience.
It's like watching 'Schindler's List' or a war documentary. We don't have to 'be there' to feel like we've been there. We can all be changed inside if we are open to 'feeling' another's hurt/joy and then be willing to take a part of their life and make it our own.
Today I am not only thankful for my empathy, but I have a challenge or opportunity for you (and me) to share someone's burden and grow a little bit more in this respect. It involves the Kaat family...the family I have linked you to in previous posts. Their infant son, Jaymun, was diagnosed at birth, back in July, with cancer. I can't imagine all that everyone in their family has had to live and learn and sacrifice because of this cancer. It came out of nowhere. They had no idea that Jaymun would be born with such a scary, life-threatening condition. It changed their lives from the moment they got the news.
This week they were hoping to be home (Jaymun and his mom Jennifer spend most of their life at Milwaukee Children's Hospital) for Thanksgiving, but those plans have changed. Instead, Jaymun continues to receive treatment and care in preparation for a bone marrow transplant. From the little bit I do know, I have heard this is a dangerous and painful treatment- but it is their one hope for his cure. The kicker? Jaymun's (young) older brother, Devon is a perfect match for the transplant, and will be the donor for Jaymun. I can try to feel what this family is feeling, and it hurts me deeply- even though I am not living it or seeing it firsthand. My heart and thoughts go out to them...as though it were my own children involved.
So, if you can feel for them and some of what they must be going through, I am inviting you to play a small part in their lives. Not only can you send them well-wishes and thoughts at the website (www.jaymun.com), but you can take it one step further, and do something tangible for them. Especially for little Devon (he's 7 or 8, I forgot) as he will go through the surgery and then recover from his part in the bone marrow transplant for Jaymun. Jennifer has listed under the Nov. 20th journal portion of their site, a number of items and ideas that you can choose from, and then mail a note or package to Devon. She is hoping to give him lots of gifts as he recovers from his role in all of this. I would like to challenge us all a step more. Imagine the little bit older siblings...and younger ones as well (see the web for names, ages and pictures...there are 5 children in this family); imagine Jaymun's mom Jennifer and dad, Dave. They need our prayers and encouragment as well. Just the traveling back and forth to the hospital has been an added expense. The way they have had to depend on one another to be the dad or mom to the kids while they are away. They haven't been able to have many visitors because of Jaymun's weakened immune system- so they have had to be there for each other, and not been able to lean on many of their closest friends and family. I know it has been a struggle and a challenge in ways I will never know.
But I have seen their attitude and their strength. I was able to talk with Jennifer when she called me one day last week on her way top the hospital. She is hanging in there. She is being an encouragement to the staff and other parents and patients on Jaymun's floor. She is striving to be her very best- when life is handing her it's very worst. I have been in her shoes.
I am sharing all this with you in hopes that some of you will answer Jennifer's small request for goodies and encouragment for Devon. I think it would be an even more wonderful thing, if some of us (Nitty.Gritty. people) shared their burden and gave them a bit of joy in whatever way we feel led or are able to give. I think it would be neat to send some 'extra love and care' to all the members of the Kaat family. There are lots of ways to do this. Some of the little ones off the top of my head are to pick up and send various giftcards. I am thinking Starbuck's cards, or gas cards or a Target card. It doesn't have to be big, but they would definitely use it and it would be a way to show that we care and we're thinking about them. I know it is small, but as I said, I've been in their shoes so-to-speak, and it's the littlest things that speak volumes at times like this.
Here is the address: Jaymun Kaat Children’s Hospital, WI HOT Unit, 9000 W. Wisconsin Ave, Box 1997, Milwaukee, WI 53201.
In the meantime, be thankful for all that you have, and grateful for your health and well-being that you might oftentimes take for granted. You never know when you could be wearing different shoes.