It's no secret that I live life in light of some tragic experiences that have shaped me over the past several years. If you are new here, you can browse my July 2006 archives for more details and stories that will help you understand some of what I blog about here.
I found it interesting and profound, that when I woke up the morning that I flew out to Las Vegas for my scrap contest/trip, my daily reading included this statement at the end...
"Your suffering can either make or break you".
Here I was, five years out from going through the darkest, most trying time of my life, and I was on the edge of new opportunities, overwhelmed with excitement, and filled with contentment and joy with my life. I would never have believed that it was possible to feel those emotions in my life again after the death of Teagan and the reality of the hurt and grief in my life.
I was overcome with emotions...and the realization that God has and is continuing to do in me things that I never dreamed could happen. Things like replacing sorrow with peace in my heart, things like giving me new eyes in which to see goodness in life and to want to make the most out of my own life, things like feeling 'guilty' for all the blessings I have...I wouldn't trade my life with someone else's for anything in the world. I am grateful for even the struggles that I have had to endure, for the challenges that continue to be a part of my life, and most of all, for the transformation that God has done in me through my pain and sorrow- to become the person that I am today.
I would never have guessed that my deepest grief would help me to learn the true meaning of joy. I would never have wanted suffering in my life like I have endured, and yet, I keep learning from it, pushing myself because of it, and hopefully showing others an example that indeed we all have choices in this life. Mine were made based on my deep faith and trust in God, and they have truly 'made me' who I am. I thank God that He has been with me and guided me and brought me out of my suffering into the life which I know and live each day.
I know that there will be more times in my life in which I will face struggles and issues that seem too big for me to handle. Fortunately I have lots of experience that will allow me to get through those times too. I look forward to seeing how I will grow and be shaped over the next five years (if God gives me that time) or more in life through the things that will come my way and through the lives of my family and friends around me. I can't help but think that I will look back and be amazed all over again.
Yes, I am learning that 'one's suffering can make or break you'. But it's not just about the individual facing the hurt, but about Who that person turns to in their time of need.
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7 comments:
Wow - you never cease to amaze me:)
I hope I never have to go what you have gone through, however, if I do, I hope I can grow and learn from the experience as you have.
i have always said "i'm not greatful for my trials but i AM grateful for the wonderful lessins that i learn from the trial and the better person i see at the end of it all"
thnk you for the reminder. we are faced with yet another trial and i needed to read this today. :)
You're fantastic Jody!
I hope one day I can approach life with such grace. Currently online in baggy pajama pants and sneakers though, so not a good start :)
What a great post!
I've only been around to read your blog for the past 6 or 7 months, but I have read everything from beginning to end and I honestly admire your strength and devotion to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. I have seen people who have been broken and lost faith becuase of tough times and it's wonderful to see someone who is not only strengthened because of it, but then turn around to use it to encourage others to do the same. That right there is truly something amazing. May the Lord continue to bless you and your family as you have done with so many others.
I went back and read July 2006 last night and as soon as I saw the pictures I realized I've already read your story. I don't think I found it the same way this time as before though. This time I found you from the scrapetc.net message board, but before...hmm, I'm not sure. I'm thinking your story was mentioned somewhere else. Anyway - I LOVE your blog. It makes me wish I had done one of my own when I was on our family journey in 2005. My son was diagnosed with cancer at 3 and it was an experience like no other. He has a website that I updated often with details about his illness, treatment, etc - to me it was also a way to get out my feelings, emotions and all that stuff. Much like you do here. I'm glad that you do this - it lets other people get a tiny glimpse into what life is like for someone else. I think it makes people think about what they have and how lucky they are sometimes even when they think their problems are huge. I know when I read other websites about kids who are fighting cancer it makes me so thankful that my son's fight wasn't as hard as it could have been. It was horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone - but it could have been worse. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is thanks for doing what your doing. Most people only come across Cole's site and read it if they know us personally or know another cancer friend of ours. Yours is reaching other people in lots of ways and what you talk about could very well change someone's life - seriously! So keep it up! I love checking on in you every day (ok sometimes more than once a day) and reading your thoughts! THANKS!!
Lisa Tanner
LisaTanner@comcast.net
www.caringbridge.com/al/cole
You are indeed one of a kind Jody! I love coming to your blog and being inspired and appreciating life. You are truly filled with spirit and I'm so glad to have met you and know you and can't wait to really sit down with you again and know you more. Thanks my friend!!!
God will never give you more heartbreak than you can handle, therefore, He knew it would never break you. He made you a better person and through your heartaches and tragedy, you have inspired other people through your blog and I believe, He has chosen you, made you strong, and, through HIM, you will bring others to HIM. God bless you. Just think, you will see your precious daughter again and you know it! That alone makes it somewhat bearable, that you will see her again someday soon. Take as many people as you can with you.
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