Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Time to make a Nitty.Gritty. list~

I'm not normally a list-making person...I kind of let life just happen. However, I do have a calendar with appointments and special days filled in on it, just to help keep me on track. Three weeks from today I will probably be a bundle of excitement at about this time. I will be in Vegas counting down the hours to the big CK Scrapbooker of the Year announcement...I am excited already! Hooray for me!
So, the part about the lists is to tell myself that maybe I should make one- just for the next three weeks. I have several things I want to get done before I leave, and today I realized I don't have much time- considering hubby heads off to Ireland for his own trip in less than two weeks. That means I am having to get stuff done ahead of schedule, including shopping for some new clothes, getting my hair cut (I did that today, so I can check one thing off my list already), and trying to squeeze in some time to make and create some goodies for my trip. Yikes! Now that I type it out, I think it's crunch-time already.
Speaking of crunch time- I had my annual 'eyes-well-up-with-big-tears-at-the-sight-of-major-autumn-colors-on-the-trees' moment yesterday. It hits me every year since Teagan died, especially when I see the first bursts of red. You see, Teagan loved the fall. She loved all the changings of seasons, but I spent long hours with her and Brock as youngsters, out raking leaves, jumping in them, watching ladybugs climb the tree trunks, and just enjoying the crispness of the air. Teagan couldn't get enough of it. It's especially gorgeous in northern lower Michigan (where we lived when Teagan was alive...Gaylord, MI) where fall is the most spectacular of all the seasons...the trees and hillsides literally GLOW with orange and red and yellow this time of year for about three weeks. Then winter settles in and it stays snow-covered til late May. =)
Anyway, Teagan loved to be outside and we would eat apples and look at the trees and simply enjoy nature. Teagan asked me how the trees can turn colors, and I told her that God makes it happen... I said, "He sort of paints the leaves each fall and that's how we get the different greens and yellows." Well, another day or two after that when we stepped outside the tips of the leaves at the top of a small tree were bright red. Teagan started jumping up and down yelling, "Look! God must have gotten new paints last night!"
So, you can imagine the nostalgia that I feel when those first leaves begin to turn red. I am brought to a moment in time that I wish my mind could playback more clearly for me. And I tear up realizing that another season of my life has come and gone and that I will never have that time back in my life again. It makes me want to hurry up and get more 'memories' of mine down on paper, or take more pictures of the kids...they'll never be this small and I never want to take time with them for granted.
All that emotion lasts for just a few minutes, and then I am back to reality and into the routine around here. I will never get over how much something like the colors of leaves can affect the deepest part of me. It makes me grateful that I had such a girl as Teagan in my life- her spirit graces my days no matter the season, and that will never change.
Just so you don't think I'm obsessive in my 'memory sermons' here, or that I am wallowing in the past, I am posting a couple of pictures of me and the kids from the last two days. We have been chalk-drawing, easy-bake cake making, story-reading, busy people. As for autumn, I have decided to officially declare it so only when I sip my first Pumpkin Spice Latte. I'm sure I'll be mentioning 'pumkin' at least as often as I mentioned coconut or butter cream this past summer. Consider yourself warned...and then the next "season" {love, obsession of mine} is eggnog. Eggnog anything...lattes, candles, homemade...you name it. I think it's all about the nutmeg for me. I love fresh grated nutmeg. Mmmm. There you have it...that's what I've been up to. Happy signs and scents and flavor of the season to you too.


linda t said...

I will be living vicariously through you at this time!

I am soooo missing Wisconsin... the fall colors, the cool, crisp air, all the decorated homes for fall, harvesting the pumpkins and gourds, racking leaves...

rhonda said...

ok--It is officially fall here in Alabama...cause I just stopped by starbucks & had a pumpkin spice latte...decaf!

annette said...

I too love the fall.
Teagan brought the 'best' of everything to you and rightfully so.

We have two gourds in our front yard...which means fall has begun around here.

It is cool here and I have a huge pot of homemade veggie soup...it is on the back burner, just tempting me to eat it now instead of for dinner.

I have been drinking my hot coffee all day with the coconut cream coffee creamer...I am sooo spoiled.

Have a super evening with your sweet babies...and that includes Chip!!

Anonymous said...

no, no- love and NEED the memory sermons- please don't ever stop- keep on going just like you are...
where are the pics?

jackie carl said...

Bless your heart.

I cried as I read your post about Teagan. I could feel your heartache.

Much Love,
Jackie Carl
Marion, IN

Laura said...

ooooh i am sooo so so in love with fall too!!! leaving this hot humid UN-autumn like state of florida tomorrow, for the north carolina mountains for a week of early-fall! Can't WAIT!!!! Hey, have you ever shared your buttercream recipe? In my cake class, I have been thinking about you, and wondering what YOUR recipe is!!!

Apron Thrift Girl said...

I love summer very much but once I realize that summer is on its way and fall is coming I'm very excited. Please continue to share your thoughts and memories of Teagan. Your writing is so beautiful.