One opinion can change your course.

One person's opinion changed my direction during my first sememster of college. I was young and still believed that people, older or smarter or in certain jobs or a host of other experiences, knew more than me. And "knowing more" automatically meant they were right.
But now that I am in "their shoes" I am finding that I should have listened to myself all along. I skipped my senior year of high school through a "post-secondary program" and instead took all my classes at college. I only needed 2 credits to complete my high school requirements, so I jumped at this opportunity- to get out of HS early and to get one year of college paid for. It was perfect for a person like me who didn't ever fit in at school and who loves to save a buck. So, I was assigned to an advisor who looked at the credits that I needed and stuck me in a senior English class for the one English credit I needed and he stuck me in a political science class (all seniors except for myself and one other kid doing the same program I was), and the rest of the classes I took were freshman general credits.
I had always loved English- reading, writing, short stories, poetry, nonfiction, all of it. I was thinking of English as a major- but decided to not declare any major until my sophmore year- just to make sure it's what I really wanted. Here is where course in life took a turn. That one senior English class apparantly wasn't the place for me. No matter what I said or what I wrote in that class was "wrong"- according to my professor, Natalie. Looking back I wonder if she just thought I was too young and inexperienced- or if I really was that much of an idiot that I couldn't write or speak anything of importance or relevance. I wish I had some video footage- or some transcripts to document what really transpired in her classroom.
I remeber that by the third week of class I had gone from sitting in the front row, to the furthest corner seat in the back. Natalie had made me feel worthless and I decided that she must be "right". Afterall, this was her profession and certainly she had a great deal of experience- therefore her opinion of me must be correct.
Fast forward several years to the current day and I have a very different opinion. I am sad in some ways that I listened to Natalie's opinion, all but gave up on writing, and had a low self-esteem in college. I always felt like I wasn't that "qualified" to be there...and I don't think I actually pushed myself hard enough or tried my very best. All because of one professor's opinion. Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it over. Don't we all have certain regreats on life in light of our experiences?
I ended up majoring in media/communications- but never thought I was that great at that either. It wasn't where I truly felt I should be-I went along with it, and I graduated in it and even ended up really liking certain aspects of it. But it hadn't been my first choice. And I think my heart knew that.
Now I get comments and emails all the time saying things like, "You should be a writer." Or "you have a way with words" and "This is what you were meant to do."
I'm working on believing all those comments. I'm trying to "erase the tapes" of negativity that I've played over and over in my mind- the ones of Natalie's criticism of my writing and my thoughts. I bet she has no idea that she changed the direction of my life to that extent. I doubt she would even remember who I am. Afterall, I spent almost a whole semester slumped down in the corner seat of her English Lit class.
I am happy that I am able to look back, reflect and now choose a new course in life. And maybe all that happened in my life for a reason. Maybe I was a terrible writer. Maybe I still am. But I am happy that my heart wants to find out for itself. I am excited to realize that sometimes the most important opinion is not one that comes from a "smarter, more experienced" voice- but instead the most important opinion comes from within. I guess I learned something from Natalie afterall.