Where do the days go sometimes?!

It's so hard to believe that three weeks flies by so quickly at times in between blog posts. There has been lots of wet, chilly spring days during the past 3 weeks, but at the same time, there has been a lot of activity going on too. These photos are all snippets of that.
There is almost always scrapping going on around here. It is still my fun and pleasure and definitely breaks up my monotonous days of waking kids and making lunches, doing laundry, changing diapers and all the other tasks that stay-at-home moms do around the house all day long. I am very excited about Cocoa Daisy's June kit~ Candy Shoppe, which will be revealed tomorrow night at 9est. It is always fun to see what all my other design teammates create using the same stuff I get too! This month I even found a way to scrap some nature onto a page. We are trying hard to grow a new lawn and had it seeded- only to have a week of downpours and rain. Our poor baby grass! But it will hopefully start to fill in and it will get another seeding again soon.
I also got to be the guest designer for Webster's Pages new Plum Seed line. I have been doing more of the Project Life-style pages, but not scrapping chronologically or daily/weekly pages. Instead I just scrap using all the cute pieces that work so well in the plastic sleeves. There are so many great new products just for this type of page. I love that! Cocoa Daisy has monthly Day in the Life kits that you can get as a subscription now too. It is a fun way to use your scraps differently and my album is starting to fill up quickly this way!
The kids have their last 4 days of school this week. It has dragged for part of the year with the stress of a move in the middle of the school year. But in a way it has also flown by and it is hard to believe I will have a kid in high school so soon! It has been a year of lots of changes and growth in all our family. The girls just wrapped up the Girls-on-the-run program last week and ran a 5k early on a Saturday morning with Chip. They were all so proud when they got home to tell me that they ran it in about 33 minutes and especially proud that Bella- who had not wanted to even go to the event- ran the whole thing and beat her fastest time by far! We are hoping to get in better shape and have a healthy active summer as a family. One way we plan to do that is by visiting the golf club swimming pool as often as we can. None of the kids are all that great at swimming, so hopefully being in and around the water so much and getting some private lessons will change that in a hurry too. In one of the photos posted today they are all hanging out in Chip's office. I think they would all live at the golf club if they had that option. They must think all Chip does is have fun there! He does work hard, but they see the games and the fun and food and to them their Dad has a pretty great job. We are very thankful for his job and hope the summer is a great success at the club! I'll still make sure to find some time to scrap. And if I am really lucky and motivated, I plan to get back on my bike several times a week too. As long as the rain isn't pouring. =)

My most sincere thanks.

Our family went out for pizza to celebrate my mom's birthday this past Friday. It was a wonderful spot {Pizzeria Lola in Minneapolis} and fantastic food too! I love when that happens; when a night out exceeds my expectations. It was just dinner and spending time with my family (except that Bella and Ava are with Chip's parents up north for a week of Grandma Camp, so we missed them, but they are having their own fun!), but it was a really nice treat to just enjoy each other's company and a great meal at the same time. I just had to post a picture of our dessert too. The pizzas are outstanding and one-of-a-kind. This sundae topped it all off. It's homemade vanilla soft-serve drizzled with olive oil and cacao nibs too. I could have eaten a dozen of those sundaes. Luckily Crew kept pushing my spoon away and so he saved me a few calories and indulged himself for me. =)
There happens to be a photobooth in the restaurant. Chip dragged me in there with him. {ha!} You know that's only partly true. He knows how much I love photobooths and so he invited me to join him and I happily went in for a few snapshots. It was just one of those nights wherelife felt really good. We had a little bit of drama and fussing from Teague on our ride home...and Crew complained of being car sick, but for us that's nothing. =) I can' help but look at these photos again, in light of the anniversary of Teagan' death and our incident at the Old Depot, which is coming up this Sunday.
The days line up perfectly to the dates that fateful July 2001, so maybe that is why my awareness and memories seem heightened. Maybe it is in light of the clouds that have lifted and my realization of just "how good I have it" truly is in my life right now. I am not entirely sure. But nonetheless my thoughts turn back over a decade to that time in our lives in contrast to the backdrop of these photos and our place in the world right now.
And do you know what first comes to my mind when I look at Chip and me smiling from a pizzera photobooth? It's not, "oh ,what a cute couple" or "wow, they are doing so great". Which I happen to agree with. tee hee...I joke. The truth is when I look at these pictures I think to myself, "I never would have imagined we would smile like this again. We have a lot of people to thank for that!" Yes. My thoughts turn to the people who have loved us, supported us, walked with us, cried with us, helped us laugh again, listened to our stories through our tears and theirs, made us want to believe in happiness again, or let us into their own pain so that we might not feel all alone in ours. Many of those people are YOU! The fact that you are reading this- no matter if this is your first post or 1200th post, I owe you a big thank you.
One of the scariest parts of grieving and living out such a 'high-profile story' all those years ago is that we were suddenly a big story in our small town and as a result there was no way to "hide" our pain and grief. I wrote about it some in my previous post. Our hurt was so big and enormous that sometimes simply walking into a grocery store would cause someone we knew and met in the aisles as we shopped burst into tears too. Our hurt was other people's hurt too. And that was hard for me. Hard because no matter where we went or what we did someone would ask us how we were doing and our nightmare was front and center all the time.
But as time went on I realized therein lies the gift of our pain and tragedy too. We COULDN'T hide it. We couldn't avoid people saying they were caring and praying for us. We had strangers sending us cards for months afterwards. We had people all over the world wishing us strength and healing and comfort. As I look at our smiling faces in the photobooth picture this day, I recognize and honor the prayers and outpouring of people from far and wide. We NEEDED that kind of support. We absolutely know that the prayers of many sustained us when our trials seemed to much to bear alone. I doubt Chip and I would be together if it weren't for the love and care and prayers of friends, family and strangers {which includes some of you blog readers!} from the first moment on. Today I write to say, "Thank you". From the bottom of my heart I want to say thanks.
I know it isn't "easy" to come alongside someone whose hurt and pain and sorrow in life you have never 'tasted' or known. So it means even more to me to those who have opened your hearts to our hurt. To our 'story'. To reach out in whatever way you have is to show great compassion. I recall times in my life when I heard about or knew people who were experiencing life's tragedy and loss in a big way. Sometimes I even remember distancing myself from them because I simply couldn't think of what I could say to ease their pain. There was nothing. Oftentimes that's just the way it is. Life can throw such curveballs that even those closest to the hurt don't know what to say. Sometimes it is "easier" to just back away.
But then there are people, who have such sensitivity or are so compelled to just be or do or say something to the wounded, and those are the people- you are the people- that Chip and I have to thank for the smiles in our pictures a decade later. There were days I was so consumed with the rawness of my breaking heart that Chip would walk through the door and find me weeping, my shirt soaked through from hours of tears, and he would sit next to me or wrap me in his arms. Sometimes he would just hold me. Sometimes his eyes would well up and he would sob with me. Sometimes we would just look at one another and try to grasp how we would ever be happy in life again. It seemed impossible. It seemed as though our lifetime would be too short for us to journey to happiness again.
These pictures amaze me, to tell you the truth. To see that we are happy- and not just faking our smiles- but we are truly filled with joy in life at times- well, that is a wonder to me. It is nothing short of a miracle as I think back to those dark days and as we prepare to mark another annivesary and year lived beyond our grief. Behin our smiles we hold Teagan's memory close. She is and always will be a special part of our lives. But I can't deny that our sorrow and grief is now more than a distant memory. It is sometimes the backdrop and basis for the happiness we do experience. Our smiles mean more to me now than they did before. I know what it has taken for us to get to this point. Our tragedy hasn't smothered us and jaded us, but it has made us appreciate more. Especially the simple things; the ordinary moments; the small happinesses in life, like a sunny night out for pizza and ice cream.
In light of the Colorado movie theater shooting, I am brought back to that place how our lives turned upside-down in one instant. I know that we never have a guarantee in life. Our next breath, the next day we're given is a gift. Every single time. There are people who will hurt in this life in grand ways. There are those of you, those of us, who can come alongside of them and make them believe in brighter days. Today, my heart is full of gratitude to every one of you who has cared for us and prayed us through. For those who have raised a frothy Coke Float in memory of Teagan and in order to make a new memory of your own. For those who wished our hearts would ever heal again after such a loss, I thank you for wishing that kind of goodness and blessing on us. For those who still listen and enter in to our world and care to be friends with us no matter the cost to you I say, "thanks". You are a gift. You are reason for us to smile. You are the reason that I blog and share so much- because you care about us- good and bad and everything in between. Today I simply say to you, my most sincere thanks.

This is what I wake up to...

I had the privilege of attending a photography workshop and also enjoyed an evening getting to know a new friend better last week. It was one of the highlights of my month- which has been as busy as usual, thus the lack of blogging. Again. My apologies to anyone who still checks in here with any regularity. I keep promising to do better at posting, but have been lousy at follow through. Maybe my summer will allow time for that. But I am not making any promises...just hopful!
So this photography workshop I attended was geared for moms who want to improve their photos and it was a night full of great tips, techniques and examples of how to do things right or wrong with lighting. The morning after my workshop I was obviously inspired by the headful of information I had gained the night before, so I had my camera on the counter, ready to implement something I had learned.
Crew was my first 'lucky' victim. =)
We never know if he is going to come down the stairs grinning or grumpy. It's more often than not his grumpy side that greets us, and last Monday morning he was all of that. He was even less thrilled to see my camera in hand. But the lighting was exactly what the photographer had said would capture the catchlights in his eyes. So I snapped a photo anyway. Her next trick was to offer candy to get a great smile. I decided it was worth a try- even if Crew hadn't had breakfast yet. I couldn't bring myself to offer candy, but asked if he wanted a Super Mario fruit snack {which, I know, is no better than candy, but we moms like to play tricks on ourselves at times too} and his grouchy face sudeenly turned happy at that very thought.
Chip says he likes the grumpy face picture best. I think because it is so very "Crew" as we seem him most mornings and even though it is frustrating and annoying to snap him out of it much of the time, it is still the way we start our days and it definitely makes us love his smiles even more.
Tomorrow is the last day of school for Brock, Bella and Ava. That thought thrills and causes panic in me at the same time. But I hope that we have more smiles than frowns and I just know to savor it all because it really does fly by so quickly. I hope you all have more to smile about than frown right now, and if not, I hope you can hold fast to the fact that the clouds don't last forever. Before you know it the sun will shine again!

Four months.

The past four months have literally felt like forever in some regards, and then I look at the photos of Teague and realize just how quickly they have flown by! He's not such a tiny baby anymore. He has definitely filled out in body size and we often comment about how he's our biggest kid and we wonder how big he'll be when he's all grown up. He is definitely the most easy-going little one of all the kids and he is so observant and wanting to see all the action that goes on around our house.

Crew is a wonderful big brother- even though in almost every other aspect of life he is demanding and overbearing. We're very thankful that he has such a soft spot toward Teague. Teague loves any and all attention and so the relationship between these two is growing almost as fast as Teague's body right now. =) I couldn't help but set Teague up in the orange Bumbo seat and snap some pictures of him- just as I had done with Crew at the same age. The comparison picture just makes me smile as I immediately see similarities and differences. It's so fun to be able to watch Teague's personality emerging a little bit more each day.

We love having him in our family and his laughter and curiosity and huggable-ness (I know that's not a word but I couldn't help myself.) and his cuteness are some of the best parts of our days right now. We feel lucky to have had him in our lives for 4 months already. We feel lucky to be the family to watch him grow and give him love.

I have a feeling the next four months are going to fly by even more quickly!

Who needs excuses?

No need for excuses to post baby pictures and photos of your almost-2 year old being a little show off when it's your blog. These are for my parents- who look forward to print-outs of my blog and I'm happy to accomodate them with a few photos.

Other than letting you know that Kristen in Texas won the blog/scrap contest from the other day I don't have a whole lot to tell you.

So, enjoy your weekend and depending on when we get accustomed to our new fall/school schedule, I'll be back at that time! This could be a long blog break... =)

We're a "party" now ~

These are just a few of the 300 photos I've taken in just the past 4 days or so. That family picture was snapped just minutes after Chip brought Teague and me home from the hospital. As you can see it is a "real life" shot of us- half of us still in our pj's. =)

The transition from 7 to 8 has had some wonderful moments and some not-so-hot/I'd-rather-forget-these moments too. I won't claim that it's easy, because it's not. To top it off there has been a 24-hour virus going through the kids causing fever and complaints from 5 of the 6 kids so far. Teague has thankfully not gotten it {yet} and I am trying to be as cautious as I can to keep him from getting it too- but let's be realistic- germs go where they want!

I did think it was cute when Chip pointed out to a couple of the kids that if we go to a restaurant now and the hostess asks "How many tonight?" we will say "8", and technically that makes us a "party". Ferlaak... Party of 8. He said if they choose to add an automatic gratuity it will end up saving us money- because Chip {after years of food industry and waiting tables} has always been a good tipper. =) I'm not sure how long it will be before we all venture out as a "party", but I can already sense that it's going to be fun! Challenging fun!

So, Teague came home weighing in at 6 lbs. 9 oz. and he has been very mellow, a good eater, a great sleeper {so far!} and loved and adored and gushed on by everyone. Even Crew is happy to hold him and he thinks it's funny when Teague squeaks or opens his eyes. I've been most challenged by Crew in the past few days- but not because of Teague- simply because Crew was Crew even before Teague got here. =)

The itching has been back in spurts and I'm not handling that as well as I had hoped- I was hoping it would be gone! Thanks again for so many wonderful well-wishes, thoughts and prayers for our family/party. We often need them and certainly appreciate them as we go about our days and figure out how best to get along with one another. It IS a blessing to have a big family, but it sure can be a mixed blessing at times too. Hopefully we will find that being a party of 8 is something to celebrate every single day. Even the challenging ones!

Busy baby...

Seems someone is just as busy and active inside of me as the rest of the kids are outside of me today! We officially started summer earlier today at our final school assembly. We have quite a few plans on the calendar from now til September, including having a baby at some point in the coming weeks. My due date is 11 weeks from tomorrow, but since I've only made it to my due date once in the previous 6 pregnancies, I am planning ahead for this next one too. Teagan was born on her due date and the others have come at least a week to more than a month early. So, I feel like it's only fair to me, the baby and the rest of us to start getting on top of things sooner- rather than later.

It seems like the weeks are going by all too quickly this time around. It's the nature of things when you have so many other kids keeping your mind and body off the {growing} task at hand. I rarely have time to stop and think about what to expect- which is maybe why the baby keeps kicking and moving so often- to simply remind me that life is going to change for all of us again- soon!

I sure hope we have a fun summer and that this belly doesn't grow too big for me to enjoy a little bit of the fun too! If so, I will blame it on the heat and extra ice cream I eat to stay cool. {wink}

I just got an extra hour in my day!

Hello Blog-readers, family and friends. It's been too long! Wyndham's therapy sessions got cut short by an hour later today, so I feel like I have a bonus hour in my day. The first thing I thought of doing when I got my "free time" was to check in here and write a new post. Aren't you lucky to be at the top of my list when life finally gives me a little breathing room?! Hooray for a little, unexpected breathing room. And I can tell you, I needed it today!!

Life here has been nothing short of busy. The weather has been very spring-like, which means Chip puts in long hours at the golf club getting new leagues in play and keeping the members as happy as he can. I feel like a single mom a lot of the time- and by bedtime the kids often take advantage of me being far-outnumbered and worn down too. They are definitely keeping me on my toes. From the extra playtime and suprevision they demand when we play outdoors, to added activities- like run-club at school a couple of days a week, and the need for more baths. There just isn't enough "me" to spend time blogging and documenting our busyness. There is even less time for me to have anything inspirational or insightful to share. I'm out of material- and energy most of the time. So those are some of my 'excuses' for not being as visible and vocal at Nitty.Gritty. lately. You are always welcome to go back and re-read the archives. I think I was more exciting and interesting back then anyway. =)

The photos posted today are some I took during a 5-minute photoshoot with Ava two days ago. I bribed her with a piece of candy and she in turn gave me looks spanning from pensive to dramatic to just plain silly. I love the age she is at right now when her personality comes out in such a spontaneous way. She can be a handful and very demanding at times. But at other times she is just "her" and I think she believes that all the world is her stage. =) In a few of the pictures she poured on the charm- pretending to sing for a large audience. As you can see, she was putting her whole heart into it... and then laughing about it as she knew just how fun that might actually be to sing for a giant crowd.

Somedays I wish I was more like my kids- not letting my surroundings stifle who I feel I am at heart. I wish I were more spontaneous with laughter and fun and silly- instead of concerned about bedtime routines and staying on top of the grocery shopping lists. Now that I actually have a free extra minutes in my day today, I think it's the perfect time to do something random and fun. I'm just not quite sure what it will be. No matter what it turns out to be, I have a feeling it's going to make me feel a little bit more alive inside. And that's always a very good thing if you ask me. Here's to finding even something small in your day in which you can celebrate life and the simple joy it contains. I've been missing that!!

Just me and the girls.

First of all, thanks for all the fun and interesting baby name suggestions. Chip and I and all the kids are having fun tossing out suggestions nearly every day. I brought up Vern, Lyle and Arnold one evening and nobody jumped at any of them. I guess I wasn't all that surprised. I do think there is quite the trend of classic/old-fashioned names on the rise though. I guess it's just certain names though. I have yet to see Dwayne or Floyd on the popular name list- my dad {Floyd} would probably be happy to see his name grow in popularity. But it will likely be at least a few years from now. =)

In other family news, we enjoyed a long, extended spring break vacation from school and routine last week. It seemed to fly by very quickly even though we didn't travel anywhere or do anything too exciting. Having long, leisure mornings and relaxed bedtime schedules was enough of a treat, if you ask me. I did "force" the girls into short, individual photo shoots one bright, sunny afternoon. I realized I don't take near as many photos as I used to. I need to get back on track and start snapping pictures- even if it is just routine, ordinary activity.

My next big challenge will be talking the boys into their photoshoots. They really don't think it's as much fun as the girls do. And so goes the long list of differences in genders!

Sunshine and smiles.

Chip helped make rainbow pancakes for Brock's birthday dinner the other night. They were a big success with all of the kids. He got creative at the end of the batter and made a stripey pancake and some tie-dye/speckled ones too. Brock was along to help pick out his cake and chose one with a sunshine on it since we actually had two sunny days in a row this week. They felt good, but they make me want more! =)

We're still not all back to 100% health around here and I feel like I will never catch up on all the missed sleep from the past month, but we're closer and things are calming down. Now... I do need some advice if any of you have had experience with a toddler not keeping their pants on. For whatever reason, Crew basically decides he doesn't need or want his pants on during the day and sometimes he decides his diaper is a nuisance too. Out of all the kids we've had, we've never had one that won't keep their pants on, so this is a first for us.

I guess kids just like to change things up and keep their parents on their toes. Here's to more sunshine, smiles and to pants staying up too. =)

Have a great weekend everyone!

Squeezing in some fun.

We finally enjoyed a nice little stretch of summer weather. Just before it was time to head back to school for another year. The kids were happy when I dragged a mattress out to our driveway one sunny afternoon and let them jump and play as long as they wanted. I don't know what my neighbors thought, but at this point in the summer it was simply all about fun!

We had an afternoon at Lake Michigan's beach... the water was cold, but the sand was perfect. Ava was proud that she turned her own self into a mermaid. =) I was happy that Crew only ate two big mouthfuls of sand while we were there. We grabbed ice cream and playtime at the Whippi-dip last night and everyone was in bed right on time.

Brock and Bella headed off to their first day of school today (Brock in 5th grade; Bella started 2nd) and Ava and Wyndham will be starting kindergarten tomorrow. We're hoping for a great year of learning and growing and still squeezing in as much fun as we can- even if it means jumping on an old mattress on the driveway.

I hope you have a great fall season too!