One, two, three...here we go!

So here we are. On the last day of Crew being 3! It has gone way too quickly, as time just has a way of moving. Yet it has felt like Crew has been a part of my life forever too. I can't imagine life without him in it! I clicked back to September 2008 and voila! There he was in his debut post. He was a charmer from the very beginning and received 100 well-wishes from many of you too. I think that is one of my favorite ways to describe my little guy- he's a charmer. He has a way of lighting up a room. With just his eyes at times. Or his larger than life grin. And most often his favorite way to make an entrance is to be heard even before h has been seen! He's a loud one!
But we have grown to love every single aspect of him. Even the ones that push our buttons and make us have to literally hold him down for a few minutes to get his little mind and body to drift off to sleep. Even at almost age 4.
He came into this big world of ours in a rather mellow way. He was my easiest, fastest delivery and his birth was an even planned affair as I was induced just 3 hours before he made his appearance. We were so ready to welcome him into our lives and home and family. Even when skeptics criticized the way our family was contributing to the economic crisis in America, we knew without a doubt that he was going to be loved and cherished and make this world a better place by being in it. I still remember those first hours, days and weeks when he was placed in my arms and as we got to know him and feel the weight and warmth of him in our arms. We were all on cloud 9 for a long time. Well, for about 6 months, truthfully. And then he realized he wanted to go and do and get into everything else that he saw his siblings going and doing and getting into. =)
But he was a wonder and a true gift and here we are. One, two, three and on the eve of turning foure years old, I can tell you that he still is a wonder and a gift. He has filled our lives with love, joy, laughter, tears, pain, fun, and so many other things in between. I recall holding his tiny body and just staring at how perfect he was and wondering what I had ever done right in my life to deserve something- someONE- so wonderful as him. I still don't have an answer to that question of mine. But I am thankful an infinite number of times over that he was born into our family and we feel lucky over and over to have Crew Tillman in our hearts and lives as a result. Forever.
Happy birthday, my dear Crew. You are one loved, loud, lovable and lucky little guy. We can't wait to see you blow out 4 candles and eat cake and grow a little bit more into who you were made to be! xoxo

His personality is taking shape.

My "baby" is fast approaching the age of two. He's been learning and watching his 5 older siblings for many, many months now and in just a few days Teague will be 21 months old. Twenty-one. I am sure it will seem but a blink and the months will be replaced with years and I will wonder how it all happened so quickly.
So for that simple fact, I snapped a couple of pictures and am compelled to write a few things about my little guy who is growing up all too fast and capture a little bit of who he is today. At almost 21 months.
I heard him wake up this morning a little bit after 8am and just after I had poured some more hot coffee into my cup. I thought I might have a minute or two to myself as Crew sat and watched "Team UmiZoomi" and I had just cleaned up from seeing the older kids off to the bus and out the door for their second-to-last Friday of the school year.
I typically hear Teague awake with a small whimper or cry or some sort of fussing that lets me know he is ready to get out of his crib and on with the start of his day. Nine times out of 10 he wakes up just a tad on the 'grumpy side' and he has to ease into the morning with some whole milk, some hug time or his newest favorite cartoon... Peppa Pig. Often times it is a combination of all three. Today as I opened his door and stepped into his room, I saw him standing at the head of his crib holding onto the rail. As I took a couple of steps toward him he grinned and then lifted his hands up in the air and said, "Ta Da!"
It was the cutest thing ever.
It made up for some of the not-so-nice things he has been up to lately. Including dumping out half a bag of Raisin Bran just so he could eat the raisins out of the mix. Or when he repeatedly pulls out dirty dishes as I am loading the dishwasher. Or the knack he has for doing that limp-body thing whenever you need to  carry him in or out of somewhere or change the activity he is in the middle of doing and he doesn't want to do it. He charmed me especially so this past Sunday on Mother's Day when he screamed- yes, screamed- the whole drive {about 10 minutes long} from the church parking lot to Culvers where we ate lunch with my mom and dad. He was a handful running around everywhere at lunch too, but at least he had quit screaming once we got him inside.
One of the things that is cute even when he is being not-so-nice these days is when I raise my voice or call his name if he's getting into mischief. Most of the time he doesn't respond. But he almost always snaps out of whatever it is or gives me his attention when I call him by his middle name, "Easton". I am working on getting the rest of the family to call him that too. For some reason he is starting to look like an Easton to me. We'll see how that turns out!
And now for the flip-side. He is such a great kid when it comes to meals. He loves so many different foods. He loves 'helping' in the kitchen {I just wrote about how great he is at emptying the dishwasher!}, and he even tries new things very readily. Just last week he ate almost all the tomatoes off of a salad I was eating. I was surprised he didn't spit out the first one and then he wanted more and more and more! He LOVES berries- blueberries and blackberries especially. He loves to sit in the driver's seat and pretend to drive. He loves old classic songs from Sesame Street and he knows how to pull them up and watch them over and over again on our cellphones.
He is a growing, active, smart, funny, dynamic personality in our home where he could easily be out-shined by someone else. Somehow though, he, just like all my other kids, has a way of bringing his own charm and personality and flavor into the mix. It's not always easy mothering my busy brood of kids. But it is always entertaining, often dramatic and on even the most ordinary days, it seems someone makes it special. If by simply announcing, "TA-DA!" when I walk into their room.
Oh how I love my little guy. Even when he's not always so nice. He more than makes up for it and I am so glad I get to be a part of his life and watch him grow into who God has created him to be!

Straight out of a book.

Sometimes its like life comes straight out of a book at my house. Yesterday it looked like this- the Oh, David! baby board book. We keep child-proof latches on our cupboards because of the age and stage Teague is at in life. The stage where everything in life is pretty much a science experiment and nothing has yet been discovered. His curious nature and lack of fear make for one busy little guy with a whole big world and endless opportunities to learn how things work. He is at the stage where everyday he wants a little bit more independence and feels fully capable of doing things all on his own. Even if they are out of reach, out of the question, or out of line. He doesn't care. If he can find a way, he is happy to do so.
So after he had already eaten breakfast, he was happy playing and discovering things in the living room. I was around the corner straightening my bedroom. The three older kids were all home from school due to parent-teacher conferences. It seemed as though the morning was off to a nice, leaisure start.
And then I heard a crinkle and a crumple and the sound of little bitty pieces on the wood floor. I took a few steps out into the kitchen and found Teague holding the Yogurt Cheerios with a twinkle in his eye at the same time. He seemed rather proud that he had discovered the latch undone on the cupboard that is 99% of the time latched shut. It was like hitting the toddler lottery. A couple of the kids came running to see what the noise had been...and they stopped dead in their tacks. Then they looked from him to me. I proceeded to say, "Uh-oh, Teague." Then I went and got my phone and snapped a few photos of the mess. By that time Teague was already squatting down and in true kid-fashion, he was picking out the pink yogurt-covered ones and eating them as though this is how we always eat our Cheerios. Off of the floor.
Crew came over and joined the fun and Ava helped me sweep and clean up. Brock wanted to know how it was that I was "staying so cool about it".
I told him that sometimes moms are better about being moms than other times. Teague had dumped out the cereal on a good day. =) But truthfully, I said, there was a time in my life when Daddy and me had sat in a house that had just a couple of weeks earlier been noisy, chaotic, a little bit stressful and had Cheerios and toys all over the floor that felt like a never-ending task of cleaning. But suddenly we were sitting there looking at each other hearing nothing but my quiet sobs and wishing upon every wish of our hearts that someone would come bounding into the room making too much noise and spilling Cheerios on the floor.
Here I was. More than 10 years after having such a wish on my heart and it was happening exactly the way I remember wishing it would. Only instead of Teagan, Brock or Wyndham spilling the cereal, it was my little Teague. My healthy, thriving, trouble-making, mess-making, lovable Teague.
I absolutely mess up more times than I can count as a mom. Every single day. But I also know that I absolutely appreciate the messes that do happen and the memories they trigger and the reminders that come to surface in the midst of the mess. They are moments to recognize that messes can be cleaned up, kids are learning and in the end, Cheerios on the floor are still a part of my life. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
Even when they are scattered all over the floor.
Sometimes my life looks like it could be straight out of a book. It doesn't look much like a fairytale, but the storyline and characters fill my heart. They keep my hands busy too. I feel blessed that sometimes I do keep my cool and just take in the moment. I will wish this one back someday too. Teague went on to re-enact a few other pages out of this board book later on in our day. I just kept my cool. It was a good book day all-around. =)

Don't let this picture fool you...

This is Teague helping me sweep the floor. The fact is he's the one that makes most of the mess around here these days! I can hardly keep up with the Cheerios, dried peas and carrots and other food and toys he leaves behind throughout the day. Yesterday it was the toilet paper streaming across the hallway, living room and entry way as though we had some mini party going on and needed streamers for the occasion. Sometimes it feels like fun for me. Other times I feel like I am fighting a losing battle trying to keep up.
In the end, I pause ad breathe and take it in. Because I have learned life's lesson that this season of his life and mine will be a distant memory before long. So I snap a few pictures and try to take it in. And remind myself that a clean house isn't what I really want in life. I want happy, well-rounded kids that know there's no place like home!

What a difference a year makes!

Today our baby of the family turns one! We are so lucky to have such a happy, healthy, rambunctious one year old in our lives. Teague has always been loved by us, but in the past few months he has been able to give a lot of love right back. He's generally a content, but busy, little guy. He loves to play with all his siblings and he loves banging on the All-Clad pots in the kitchen too. He's been climbing up full flights of stairs for 3 months now and has been walking for nearly a month. He is curious and smart and has a love of puppies- even though we don't own a single pet. He has 6 teeth- and although he is great about eating a variety of vegetables most of those teeth like sweets just as much. =)

We have loved watching him become who he is already and look forward to watching him grow and change and become all God designed him to be from one til however old he gets!

Happy Birthday, to our dear Teague. Love and best wishes from your whole family!

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery...

I snapped this sequence of photos yesterday morning as I watched to see what Teague was up to. It turns out he wants to be just like Crew and do what his bigger brother does. That laves me with mixed emotions as Crew has his own way of doing things most of the time. =)

Seriously though, I couldn't believe that Teague got his own game and then proceeded to join Crew playing it on the couch. Crew had his game on the couch in order to 'keep away' from the baby. Ha! Seven babies later and I am still amazed at how quickly they grow, how independent they strive to be, and how much they are soaking up from the world around them. Hopefully all the good parts of us are rubbing off and all our faults will be overlooked.

I am happy to report that Crew seems to be turning a bit of a corner and has been very nice the past few days. At least much nicer and easier to get along with then the previous year and a half. Maybe Teague is rubbing off on him too. =)

I just noticed my laundry is all folded in the basket in the background in these pictures. I am happy to report that it was all put away by last night too. And I'm caught up on two more loads yet today. Hopefully all that hard work is rubbing off on my little ones and they'll be doing their own laundry before I know it! Oh it's good to dream big sometimes!

Keeping it simple.

If you've had any experience around children you know that all too often you give them things and toys and go all out- and then they prefer the box or the string that came wrapped around the package.

Teague is no different. He has been fussing the past few days as his first two teeth are starting to make their appearance. Nothing we bring to him to play with or suck on has made him happy for more than a minute or two. Until he got his hands on this empty water bottle. You would have thought by his reaction and attention to it that it was the latest, greatest toy to hit the market. I sometimes forget that less is more. It's a challenge to keep things picked up and tidy around here with as many kids and ages as we have in our home. Now that Teague is getting more adept at getting around I'm thinking it's the perfect time to scale back on stuff.

We did manage to get a family picture on Easter this past Sunday while our friend Rachael was with us. She knows more than most how much effort goes into even the simplest family photo. We aren't the most photogenic bunch, but I'm learning to be happy with any results just as long as we're all in the shot. Keep it simple. So much easier said than done, but I'm going to give it a try!

How about you? What sort of things do you do each week to simplify things in your home and with your family. I'd love to hear your favorite tips, techniques, shortcuts and whatever else works well for you! Please share!

From 6 mos. to 12 yrs.

Today Teague is 6 months old. He had his first tiny taste of whipped cream from off of Brock's birthday cake last night. Even after all the babies I have had the privilege of raising I am still amazed at how quickly they grow into their own personalities. Even more so I am amazed at how much the little ones want to be like the big ones.
In these pictures you can see a glimpse of how Teague looks up to Crew already. What you can't see is how Crew pushes himself to be just like his older siblings. It's not competition- but more a strong desire to have and/or get to do what the other kids are doing.

And then I look on and wish for them to stay little and innocent just as long as they can! No wonder there is tension around here. =)

Brock was thrilled to score his first points at a basketball game this afternoon. The world still holds a lot of firsts for all of my kids. I am feeling blessed to be the one to look after them and to celebrate big and small milestones with them. It's a real chore with ongoing challenges every single day and with never-ending piles of laundry to do too. Yet I know I will look back at this time in our lives and say, "those were truly days of wonder and joy". I don't want to forget the importance of these days- from 6 months to 12 years and everything beyond too. They will be a blur for me someday not too far from now.

So I'm treasuring today. I hope you do the same!

Four months.

The past four months have literally felt like forever in some regards, and then I look at the photos of Teague and realize just how quickly they have flown by! He's not such a tiny baby anymore. He has definitely filled out in body size and we often comment about how he's our biggest kid and we wonder how big he'll be when he's all grown up. He is definitely the most easy-going little one of all the kids and he is so observant and wanting to see all the action that goes on around our house.

Crew is a wonderful big brother- even though in almost every other aspect of life he is demanding and overbearing. We're very thankful that he has such a soft spot toward Teague. Teague loves any and all attention and so the relationship between these two is growing almost as fast as Teague's body right now. =) I couldn't help but set Teague up in the orange Bumbo seat and snap some pictures of him- just as I had done with Crew at the same age. The comparison picture just makes me smile as I immediately see similarities and differences. It's so fun to be able to watch Teague's personality emerging a little bit more each day.

We love having him in our family and his laughter and curiosity and huggable-ness (I know that's not a word but I couldn't help myself.) and his cuteness are some of the best parts of our days right now. We feel lucky to have had him in our lives for 4 months already. We feel lucky to be the family to watch him grow and give him love.

I have a feeling the next four months are going to fly by even more quickly!

My bitty bear...

I can't believe another week has come and gone. Some days I am nearly on top of the world by noon and feeling I have it all together. And then just shortly after 3pm, when all the kids are home from school, I can topple from my "mountain" and free fall til midnight or longer. Almost like I'm drowning in stuff that needs to be done or worried about. Maybe I need to stop worrying so much. =)

One of the things I feel like I miss in my life right now- no matter how full and busy it may be- is the connection with friends. Most of my 'close friends' I actually know and love through online connections. Many of them I've met in person and it only makes me wish for more time and opportunity to be together with them more often. I have an amazing friend, Jo-Anne, who lives in Holland. She is beautiful inside and out and will likely have tears in her eyes when she scrolls through the pictures of Teague on this post. You see, she has a big, tender heart and we've connected in a special way. And she crocheted this little bear cap and gorgeous sweater for Teague. Over the past month he has been such a snuggly, cozy little guy that I didn't know he could be any cuter. But Jo has a way of bringing out the best and even more in a person and she did that with her handmade lovlies for Teague.

The good news is that I read her blog and she has a link there to her etsy shop if you just have to have a little bear hat or another handmade treasure of your own. Here is the link and you can trust that everything she makes is made with love and care. She will probably be blushing by the time she finishes reading this post too. That's just how Jo-Anne is.

I'm listening to my bitty bear squeak and squirm from the other room. He's 'watching' Notre Dame football with Daddy right now. Things are calm around here. For at least a brief moment. Tomorrow my medium bear turns 2 years old. I don't know how our day will go- Crew can be lovable, crazy and even more crazy- all at one time. =) SO, in case I don't get a brief, quiet moment two days in a row, I'll wish him a Happy Birthday now. I hope we get a chance to snuggle and cuddle him a few more times before he's too big and grown for all that gush.

Happy Birthday to you, my Crew. I hope the terrible in the "terrible two's" eludes you!! {wink}

Three weeks...

Teague is three weeks! That 3 weeks went by rather quickly, if I do stop and think about it. Although I don't have too much time to stop and think about it. =)

I am trying to take it all in and just soak up the one-on-one time that newborns demand of their mommies because I know just how fast this little guy will grow. I am also so thankful for each and every one of your thoughts, prayers and to those who left comments when I was hurting and angry the other day, I especially appreciate the time you took to do so. It is one of the things that Chip and I learned we needed- very early on when dealing with grief- friends, family and even "strangers" help to carry the weight of what we feeling. Sometimes just knowing that someone is aware of what you are going through helps make the journey sting just a tiny bit less. So thank you for those prayers! Feel free to leave scripture references, quotes or lyrics/links to music too. I don't always feel that I have the strength of faith that so many of you seem to 'see' when you read this blog and I am always looking for ways to grow my faith- especially when it feels weak. I'll be digging in deep for the next 3 weeks as Wyndham's surgery approaches. As much as I hurt for what she is going to have to go through physically, we ALL are going to go through some rough stuff emotionally, mentally and spiritually too. I don't want to be unprepared... and I think my heart needs to be readied for what is yet to come.

* * * * *

My dad spoke at Teagan's memorial services and one of the things he shared has stuck with me and served me more than once in the past 9 years. With September 11th on my heart and mind for another year too, it seems appropriate to share these thoughts.

He and my mom were visiting my sister in Cancun and had to take a ferry to their resort earlier in the year 2001. My dad has never liked 'the water' and on this particular day the waves and winds were especially high and strong. The ferry boat was really rocking- much to my dad's dismay. He went out to the deck for some fresh air and my sister offered this insight/helpful hint to him. She told him that the locals say if you keep your eyes on the horizon when the winds and waves get strong that you feel less of the motion. The fixed place for your eyes helps to give you balance and a better sense of calm.

My dad said that it really worked when he tried it.

When our tragedy struck just a few months later my dad thought back to that day on the ferry. And now, even though the winds and waves of life were figurative rather than literal, he felt the same truth applied. When we fix our eyes on God/Heaven- the One who is constant and the Prize that awaits us, then the world can fall apart and swirl around us, but we can have a sense of peace and calm just knowing that God has it all in His hands. We can trust that our anchor is going to hold and we will make it through the storm. And often times we'll come out stronger on the otherside as a result.

So that is one of the things I am telling myself in the next 3 weeks. We face some unknowns, but we can be confident that God is bigger than whatever comes our way. He's never failed us yet!

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."

Wrapped in love...

Here it is- the official baby announcement. Teague is two weeks old today, and we couldn't be more happy about having in our lives. He gets his share of hugs and kisses. We plan to keep those coming his whole life long.

Welcome {officially!} to our world, Teague Easton.

You are one loved-on little babe!

How we "do it"...

Ava has it all figured out for us. She said to me a couple of days ago (after I must have asked her to clean something or help me with something around the house), "Mom, we should get some servants so you don't have to do so much work around here". I don't know that we need full-time servants, but I do wish we lived closer to our families so we could 'employ' their help a bit more! =)

Teague has been so easy and content so far. I can't complain about him as a newborn one bit. I don't know if he's such an easy baby- or if Chip and I simply have babies all figured out after having so many. Either way, I've been feeling good (other than occasional bouts of itching arms) although some days I am more worn out by the time bedtime arrives, and I've also sometimes wished that Chip had a 9 to 5 job. It would be nice to have two parents around at dinnertime and bedtime!

Crew has still been the handful around here. He fights his naps almost everyday and goodness knows he needs one... and I need him to take one yet! He has hardly noticed that he has a new baby brother, but does love to take turns holding him when the other kids show interest in Teague. It won't be until Teague starts rolling over and looking for trouble himself that I think Crew will finally realize what is going on- there's a new guy in town! =)

So, I get asked a lot, "How do you do it?!" or "You must be Superwoman!". The truth is I'm a lot more like Roseanne Barr in her tv sitcom than I am Superwoman on any given day. I do have semi-high standards though when it comes to certain home-keeping chores- like getting beds made each day and staying on top of the laundry. I definitely find myself 'begging' the kids to help out and do their part more. They just don't have the sense of obligation or urgency about keeping things picked up that I do. But they are learning.

When it comes to doing extra activities like baking or scrapping, well, those things become the "activity" for everyone to do- even Crew was coloring and playing with paper scraps while the girls and I scrapped last week. We had the dining room table covered with stuff and everyone was having fun being creative together. The hard part was getting the table cleared off everytime we needed to eat a meal. =)

I'm trying to not be so hard on myself if things don't get done- like the dishwasher being emptied every night, and I also rely on Chip for certain things- like bringing home gallons of milk and bread and bananas from the grocery store every few days. We also sacrifice a lot of things that some people consider normal or routine in their weekly schedule, such as going to movies or out with friends or each other. I think one of the things that keeps us going too, is to remember that this is a season in life. It will actually be gone before we know it, and so I try to just take it in and recognize that these are the days I will wish back sometime down the road. Babyhood and toddlerhood don't last forever.

That helps me get through the days... and makes me want to hang onto certain moments all at the same time. That's {in a nutshell} how we do it around here. =)