Bring on spring! A bright Forecast ahead!

Despite the long, drawn-out winter weather we have been experiencing late into March, the days seem to be going by quickly anyway! The past couple of weeks we celebrated Ava's 9th birthday, St. Patrick's Day, Teagan's sweet 16 birthday, bought a new van {we've had the same minivan for the past 12 years!} and are now heading to Minnesota tomorrow for our Easter/Spring Break. I know it's not sunny Florida or any warmer than we are here in MI, but where family and friends are is always better than sun in my book! So we are loading up our new wheels and taking a 12+hour trip west for 10 days. Chip will be flying back here to MI as soon as he drives us all over, because he has to get his golf course open and has tons of things on his plate as the golf season kicks off. We will miss his birthday while we are away, but I am sure we can find a way to eat cake when we get back and make up for it once we are settled back home. He says he will try to enjoy his birthday even without us all here and just might get a full, quiet night's sleep for once!
So, with all that going on I have not had extra time to blog here. But I do post and am on FB {more than I should be!}, so if you need some Nitty.Gritty. fixes in between my posts, feel free to friend me and I can see what you are up to in your corner of the world too! I have had time to scrap and play with the awesome April Cocoa Daisy kit~ Forecast. It is filled with bright, fresh spring colors and as you can see in my sneak peeks here today, I used lots of patterned papers and had fun layering so many bits and pieces of the kit on my pages. I made all the clouds "happy" clouds on my projects and am so looking forward to spring, sunshine, day-dreaming and hopefully soaking up some nice warm days very soon. In the meantime, there has been much memory-making, reflecting and gearing up for changes around here too.
I hope your spring forecast is looking bright. Bring it on! =)

Sometimes you gotta wear your flair.

I am caught up on laundry for a quick moment. For real!
My house is fairly tidy too, as we had a guy come and take measurements for some caret that we are getting replaced. Funny how I can clean the house for some random guy that comes over for a mantter of minutes. ButI can totally let it go and live in it with clutter here and there for days- with the people I love most in this world. Something seems amiss about that. And I was convicted of that thought even as I put things away earlier today. So I am going to make that my personal challenge when it comes to cleaning. Instead of letting things go I will hopefully tell myself, "No...do it! Do it for the people you love, right now!"
And maybe, just maybe they will want to do a bit f tidying to show their love for me right back. This could be a win-win!
Speaking of win... Chris Cross who likes aqua, gey and yellow, email me your address and I will send you a little book and scraps. Yay for happy mail! {nitty.grittyjody at yahoo.com}
I have to share one more story that goes with the photos here today. All this talk of flair reminded me of when I used towork at TGIFriday's many years ago. We were required to wear at least "10 pieces of flair" and I never could part with my uniform and all that flair. So when I mentioned my boring Friday nights {because Chip works late and I am stuck home with 6 kids every Friday} on a Facebook update, I joked that I could make the night fun by wearing my old uniform. Well, one thing led to another- as it sometimes does on FB- and I found myself cooking noodles while sporting my stripes and flair. The kids got such a kick out of seeing me in my old outfit. A couple of them were surprised that I had ever actually "worked" before- "you had a real job once, Mom?!". It was like I was a Disney character and they even wanted their picture with me. hee hee
Yes, it was fun and humbling all in one. But it made our boring night a bit moe exciting and reminded me of my own advice that I don't take often enough which is "Sometimes you have to create your own Joy". We played some games, had popcorn and watched Ice Age and turned our hum-drum Friday into one that made a memory. Hopefully I can follow this act coming up this Friday. Or maybe I will just have to wear my stripes and flair each week! Although I wonder when the fun would wear off.  =) I was just happy that my skirt still fit! And now I have an excuse for why I save the crazy things I do. They are joy-makers. That's why!

Just because...

So the winner of the minibook from the previous post is Julie Ken. Please email me your mailing address and I will send you the little book I made. I hope you like it! {nitty.grittyjodyatyahoo.com} And just because I am so in love with  mail and I still have more scraps and flair on my desktop, I am going to choose one more person to send a little something too as well. Sort of as away of saying, "thanks for checking back to see if you won, oh, and if you didn't here's one more chance to do so"!
This time, just let me know what your favorite color or color combo is right now, and I will be back to choose a winner sometime after I wash and dry 6 loads of laundry. =)

Spread a little love and flair around.

 

 

Do you know what's fun for me?! Scrapping and then sharing it with others who love it as much as me! So today I have a bit of love to share with you.
First off, I was given some custom {meaning she made it with me in mind...how cool is that?!} flair, by my creative and crafty friend, Martha. Martha and her husband went to China and came home with a little girl of their own, just over a year ago. Since then, Martha has been smitten by all the fun and excitement that a child brings to your life. She has documented so many of the special, crazy, tiring, noodle-eating, Hello Kitty loving moments through scrapping too. She was inspired to start a shop where she sells her flair- you can visit it and see for yourself what she has to offer right here at PandaEight Designs.
I just loved scrapping for the fun of it and came up with three different projects where I put her flair to good use. One was a page where I went nuts with photos, flair, antlers and just let it all fall onto the page. Martha has even added a mini set of the same custom flair she made for me, just in case any of you have the same crazy life as me! {You can find that set right here.} I have never had anything named after me before, so I find this pretty exciting. My own flair! =) Next I made a card with a handmade bow on it too. I wanted some matching dimension on my card, and a fabric bow certainly seemed to pair well with a couple of cute pieces of flair. The vinatge fox images are adorable. I can't wait to send this card to an unsuspecting friend. =)
Lastly, I colored my hair, put on some make-up and felt myself get a little more hopeful the other day. I was reminded of how sometimes just doing something for yourself can help lift your spirits. Besides doing something good for yourself, doing something for others brings a certain happiness too. So as a thank you to Martha, and to you for reading here at Nitty.Gritty. and leaving me thoughts and encouragement at times, and just coming along for the ride at other times, I am doing a little giveaway today. It will run from now until I post again- so it could be 72 hours...or a week. Or more. Just kidding. I will choose a random winner before the week's end. The 'prize' is the little minibook you see, which I made using lots of scraps from my Cocoa Daisy add-on this month {Freehand} and the 'oh snap' flair which is part of this collection. I added a few random bits inside of it, but most of the little book is waiting for some tiny photos or other ideas of yours to be tucked into its pages. If you would like a chance to get this little book, go to Martha's PandaEIGHT designs shop here. Then click back and leave me a comment telling me your favorite piece or set of flair. Easy, peasy! I just love knowing I get to send some love, happiness and flair in the mail to one of you soon!

So much more than Sketchbook~

These are just a few of the things I crafted using the latest kit from Cocoa Daisy. It's called Sketchbook and it is full of beautiful patterned papers and ribbon and fun alphabet stickers and a whole lot more! I received the tiny deer from a friend not long ago, and when I saw the colors in this kit it just seemed so fresh and spring-like, so I put the fawn in a little card box I had laying around since Christmas, and it turned into a cute little home for him. I have it sitting on my desk right now and it just makes me happy. SO that is a very good thing!
Another project I made is partially done. It's actually a work in progress, which I am excited about gradually filling in! the concept behind this tiny, embellished notebook is that each day I am writing down at least one "good thing" that happened, or that I did right, or that someone else did right at some point. I am hoping that seeing the good things fill up this book will serve as a tangible reminder that life does indeed hold many blessings and even though sometimes they don't jump out at us, it is always a good idea to take note of them. It certainly can't hurt to focus on the positive. Even if it is only one day at a time. We will get there. And in the process there will be lots of little things to note along the way.
Today, for instance, I am home again while Chip works late tonight. I am unable to get out or do anything with my kids, so we are in for another Friday night. But I put some lipstick on today. Just because. I listened to my kids laugh and play together. I got another to take a much-needed nap. And to top it off, we just might have popcorn and a movie on the dvr. It's nothing really. But when you look at it as another night in a warm house where nobody is sick and grateful just because we have a Dad who works, it's pretty great. So that's the deal with this little book. It's time to spin the focus and see that things could always be worse. We've learned that lesson already. Now it's time to find a reason to be happy. Hopefully I'll find them. One day at a time.

When the clouds were light and numbered 9...

So there has been a bit of heaviness here at Nitty.Gritty. for about 3 years now. Or maybe it just seems that way to me. The really wonderful part about being surrounded by darkness and heavy burdens in  life is that you know there must be a time coming when the light will shine and the clouds will lit again. I know I've been preaching that for a long while now. And a couple of times it even appeared as though the sun was starting to shine. But then more waves of life came and it's like I hit rewind around here and started to sound like a broken record again.
I am not going to lie. I do sound like a broken record way more often than I would care to admit. But it's not because I make stuff up. On the contrary, things often go from bad to worse for us and I don't always even share the worst! =) Thank goodness for that. I do know that one of the ways out of the clouds, or even a simple break from them is to look back at times when things have been good. The way to push ahead is often by looking back and believing that the good times will roll again.
Thank goodness for March's Sketchbook kit at just the right time! Last week when my scrapbook kit arrived on my doorstep from Cocoa Daisy I will tell you I was feeling like never scrapping anything again in my life ever. I was so convinced there was nothing 'good' in me to share. I can tell you that I wallowed and waivered for a few days. I questioned why does it matter if I do or don't scrap ever again. And do you know what I came up with? A couple of things. One was I LOVE to scrap and create and make things with patterened paper and stamps and cool 'stuff'. Two was that reality hitting me that if I walked away from scrapping then there would be even less fun and goodness in my life. I didn't want that to happen for sure! I didn't want the 'bad side' of me to win. So I dug deep and out of that spilled this nostalgic mini book that I made for Chip {and let's be honest here, for me too}. =) It is a little book about remembering where it all began for us. The fun, the love the happiness, the clouds that we walked on that were lighter than air all those years ago, and the magic that we felt just walking hand-in-hand.
You know what else happened? I spent way too much time making this. But during that time I got to think back on the many memories we did have where we laughed and learned new things about each other; I relived some of the memories that have been tucked away for a very long while.
Some days Chip and I can be so short with each other and just get through our days without a whole lot of niceness to each other- much less love and magic. I pulled out a tiny book I had in my jewlery box since our early days of dating and created a little pocket in this book to give it a more rightful 'home'. I remember handwriting that little book knowing my heart was so in love with someone and knowing his heart was in love with mine right back. It was a silly little gesture to make it and give it to him, but as I flipped through it and as I share it on this blog all these years later (that little book of Chip is more than 18 years old! and by the way, his real name is John David...he's gone by Chip since he was a small tyke though), I realize it is a gift to be able to peer into that young love and to have something tangible that documents it even a little bit. It makes it even more important for me to scrap now and hold onto and share the memories and stories that still lie hidden in my heart.
Even though the dark clouds darken my view and cloudmy eyes at times, I am so glad that I am able to glimpse past them, or push them back and make something out of their gray mist in my life. To Chip I just want to say thank you for loving me. Then, now and always. Lest we forget...may this little book and all our happy memories serve to remind us of the gift of our love. Forever! xo

Behind the scenes.

I talk about keeping it real around here. Sometimes I have gotten 'in trouble' or scolded for doing that too outright. Even my own husband has said to me a time or two, "You didn't need to blog that!" In the past couple of years, I have had so many times words or pictures or both were on my heart. But I just couldn't bring myself to share them- for so many different reasons. Sometimes the overwhelming stuff in life is just that. Overwhelming. My outlet in life since I was a little kid was to write. To get it out. To put it down on paper. To put words to the ache or happiness or searching that was in my soul. I sometimes wish that blogs had been around when I was 12. And 13. And 14 too. Up til now. I wrote so much and sometimes I come across little poems or journals that I kept all these years and sometimes my words hit me in new ways or show me a glimpse of who I was way back then. It's amazing to me how powerful words can be.
So much so that I don't even know how to type them out in the way I feel I need to just to 'say it right'. Or to say it 'wrong' but at least it's out and I can process it and move through those feelings. This is one of those posts. Where something has been on my heart, but it's hard for me to put it into words. In part that hppens because this blog has touched a lot of people, and in so doing, there have been some who have responded in hurtful or even unintentional ways, which have made me more guarded in what I do share. And also in how I share it. Even though this is my personal space to write or share whatever. I know that words and pictures impact people. And stir things in others. Sometimes we're on such different 'planes' or simply can't begin to out ourselves in someone else's shoes, and so the message comes across all wrong. I get that. I get it to the degree that it affects what I share and how I share it.
But this thing- this longing in me to share whatever it is that presses on my heart for unknown reasons to me- is so great that it urges me to share. Even if I get misunderstood. Even if it makes no sense to anyone else but me, and even if it means nothing else to anyone. To think that maybe it DOES mean something, or maybe it can touch someone else, or shed some light, connect my heart to another, that is reason enough to share.
Maybe I didn't even need to write all that out. I sometimes feel the need to explain why I blog. I guess that is my issue and I should work on that. =) Today I just want to share some behind-the-scenes pictures that took on a whole new look to me in light of some of the trials I have been feeling and going through in life right now. Going through some tough daily routines in a place where I'd rather not be right now has been a big struggle. My heart has been so heavy, my days have felt long and pointless so many days in a row. Still I believe that there is a point to it all. I believe I am lucky to have some amazing people in my life- close up and far away. I am lucky to know and love and believe in a God who doesn't waste a single struggle in our lives when we are willing to look to Him to make something beautiful out of it all. I am seeking to see the beauty in the process. Even when it is overwhelming, all-consuming, not-so-easy, and harder than it seems it should be at times.
Our family went to a local beach on Lake Michigan at the beginning of December. We wanted to capture some family pictures and let me tell you, it is no small feat to do such a thing with just the number of people we have to get in one spot. We knew the boys would be okay, because Chip had taken them to walk along the beach a couple of times prior to this picture-taking event. We knew we were going to be lucky to get even one picture together, and my expectations were very low as to even how that photo might turn out. I simply wanted us all in one frame together. I wasn't remotely concerned about smiles or eyes shut or any of that. Just get us together and hopefully, some of us would even have a bit of fun out on the beach at the same time. That was my goal.
To pull it off though, as small as that goal was, took a whole lot of effort. Just getting everyone dressed and into the van and then up on the sand dune for the attempted photo was a major effort. The wind was blowing fierce that day, even though the temperature {for Decemeber!} was a balmy 50 degrees. The boys wanted to run one direction and climb and have fun. I wanted that for them too. We didn't tell them, "it's time to take pictures!" but instead slowly gathered us all to one spot and had our friend keep snapping frames the whole time. It's those behind-the-scenes pictures to me that tell a more true story. The airbrushed, over-edited, Photoshopped pictures are the ones we see in the media all the time. But the truth, more often than not, is that in real life the 'pictures' are rarely posed or neat the way we think they always are. I think one of my struggles has been falling into that comparison trap where what we see around us or as we look at the lives of others we think things are neater or simpler or easier or 10 lbs lighter than they are. the fact is life is alot more messy than that.
Marriage is hard!
Kids are hard!
Gas prices go up...salaries don't rise at the same rate!
Sometimes prayers get prayed and the answers don't come!
Winds blow.
Rains fall.
Burdens get heavier.
Smiles get hard to capture all in one frame.
Getting the 'perfect picture' takes a lot of energy, time, bribing with tiny boxes of raisins, carrying others up sandy dunes, and even then you're not guaranteed a good shot. Much less a great or perfect shot!
Therein lies my struggle. That battle or tension that no matter how good the intentions or efforts or cause, the result might fall far short.
But I am slowly learning and keep repeating to myself that no matter what the results, it is always worth the effort to try. And not to simply just get though it, but to actually put my best foot forward. That is easier said than done! It's never what it appears to be, but even as I look back and as I look ahead, filled with questions and wondering if it even matters, I know that there is coming a day when the purpose and point of all the tough scenes we've lived in life will be so clear. And not only clear, but they will be redeemed too. That is enough to keep me going. No matter how hard the winds blow. No matter how heavy the load gets. I want to be able to see the picture as it was meant to be seen- from glory's vantage point. By His grace, that day is coming and oh what a day that will be.

Note to self:

Sometimes more than any other person out there, I need my own heart to hear the message I share with the world. Earlier today I left a comment on a friend's blogpost. As soon as it posted and the words I had just written stared back at me from the computer screen, I just knew that I was the one that needed to see and believe in what I had just shared.
Maybe your heart needs to hear this same whisper of truth too.

Learn new things.

It's February and I am sitting at home with three kids on this Friday, while the other three are at school learning new things. It's wintery and snowy outside, and I was out for a bit shoveling a small snowbank away from our mailbox in hopes that the mail carrier will actually stop at our box today. When I came in, I was chilled, of course. But after a quick warm-up it seems to be the perfect kind of day to learn something new myself.

As I think about all that has happened in the span of a year in my life, it is exhausting and certainly had its crazy parts. When I think of the demands I have on me each day, simply as a wife and mother of 6 kids with lots of needs, it can tire me out too. Top it off with a heart that has yet to embrace living where we do and feeling a lack of purpose to it all, and well, it just seems even more important and maybe even necessary for me to try new things. It is the idea of my word, soar, that helps push me to want more out of life too.

I have fought to find purpose and meaning in life for years and years now. And although I turned 40 and that in itself should indicate I should know what I am here for by now, it is still something I am seeking after all these years.

So in the quiet, and in the wait, and in this in between time where I find myself asking again, 'what am I doing and why', it is nice to give myself the space to just be still. And learn new things. Like crochet. I am thankful for my dear friend who literally helped 'hook me up' with this new venture. I am thankul for friends who care about me during the not-so-exciting times of my life. I am grateful that there are ebbs and flows in life that give us hope that there is something in the works yet to come. Today I wait, wonder, and yarn over and let my thoughts turn to what it is. I love quiet days...filled with Hope.

A little book about YOU.

 

I have a friend named Sarah. Sarah has a couple of doggies in her family. One of them is a Boston/Pug and I am always gushing over his pictures when I see them in her Facebook feed. I asked her if I could scrap some of the pictures she has posted of them. She said, "yes".
That was several months ago. Just before we found out we had to move out of the rental house we were living in. It was before my life got extra crazy and I was well into enjoying my 'free time' by scrapping and making stuff with paper and other bits and pieces that come in my mail each month from Cocoa Daisy.
I had such great intentions to create a little book with the puppy pictures I had received the blessing to scrap. Flash forward all these many months later, and when my February kit- Double Feature arrived and I opened it up, I instinctively knew that this was the time to put together the book I had been longing to create. The kit is live for purchase tomorrow if there are any still available. Each month the kits and add-ons have been selling faster and faster. I know that Christine {my friend and owner of the awesome Cocoa Daisy kits!} is upping the number available as of next month. So there is hope you can get in on it then- if you miss out this time. Or you can become a subscriber and know that one kit will be headed your way each month, if you are into that and I can attest to how great the kits are- each and every month!
So there's that bit of inside info for my scrap readers here.
A bit more about the book I made. There is a tutorial I posted about some of the process of creating it on the Cocoa Daisy blog here. This is a link to the book in my gallery where you can click through the pages and see them enlarged and in greater detail if you like to see them that way here.
The story behind the text of the book, "You" is that as I thumbed through the pictures I wanted to tell a story and not just scrap cute photos. I used the images to sort of 'guide the storyline', but the truth is the statements and messages along with the photos are something I wanted to share with my friend, and it is so fitting for my kids, and I think it is a message for anyone who reads it. It's as much for me as it is for anyone else too.
It is hard to hear the 'truth' about us at times. It is hard to grow up and live in this big world of ours and find our way, or just be still when it is time to do that too. I am still learning. Still growing. Still hiding in corners so many days at a time, and still trying to believe in the fact that I have so much to offer. That is the message I wanted to send. Loud and clear.
And yet in a subtle, adorable, scrapping, unimposing sort of way. That is how this book of "YOU" was born. I hope it speaks to your eyes, your heart, or to whatever other part of you is open to receive its message. And if you take nothing away from it except one thing, I hope it is this:
You are loved. xo
YOU
You come into the world tiny, soft and full of needs.
There is much to learn.
You will have days filled with play, curiosity and wonder.
Other times you will have days that just wear you out.
You might even feel like hiding in a corner.
You might feel like finding a cozy spot... and let the world simply pass you by.
But always know that you are special.
Adorable.
And loved more than you can possibly know or feel.
Putting on a special shirt or tie, or a favorite pair of shoes can bring out the spunk in you.
But the truth is that you don't need anything extra to make you a better you.
I love you... & the world shines brighter just because you're in it.
Yes.
You.

What I do when I'm snowed in...

Scrap, scrap, laundry, a bit of cooking and playtime with the kids, and then more scrapping. =)  We have gotten several inches of snow this week and as much as I used to love going out in it as a kid, I am absolutely content staying inside and avoidig it as long as possible now that I am grown up. I am lucky that Chip doesn't seem to mind grabbing groceries and doing all the snow-blowing of the driveway when it's like this outside. He spoils me that way.
So while the snow piled up outside, I have spent the past few days upstairs in my favorite spot in the house- my craft corner. There are a couple of sky windows- that actually were covered for awhile, but with the yellow walls and warm air that rises, it makes for a good spot to play with paper and ink. The pees you see here are made with the upcoming February kit from Cocoa Daisy called, "Double Feature". I have been 'pushing myself' a bit with the stencil in this kit and I have been getting more and more into stamping each month when my box of goodies arrives too. It is so fun to play around with the color combos that Christine comes up with and there is always so much in the kit that I am hoping to make a Valentine banner or garland this weekend too!
If I get around to that, I will be sure to show you the finished product too. One sure way to pass the long winter days is by making something cheery and bright, right?! Of course, give me a toasty warm day and I will probably tell you that I think it is a good idea to stay in scrap to stay cool too. =) I am fairly adaptable and am good at scrapping in any kind of weather! {hee hee}

The rising.

One of the wonderful parts about being a scrapper is that it makes it very much "okay" {not that anyone ever needs an excuse!} to go through photos, sift through memories, take lots of pictures, and hold onto mooments we might ordinarily miss in the busy, routine-ness of our days. I learned so much after Teagan's first year of life, just how quickly those days and moments fly by. So I had gotten better at grabbing my camera and snapping everyday moments during her second year and moreso as her baby brother, Brock, made his appearance in our lives.
Today I pulled out a small tote of photos and even just thumbing through a couple of sleeves of pictures I was taken back and reminded of some of the beautiful times I was lucky to have in my life. This picture of Teagan just jumped out at me today. We just had a big winter storm, so the dea of sunshine and short sleeves very muh appeals to me on this January snowy day in Michigan. =) The scene in that pictures is lost by the framing of the lens, but I still remember those days like they just happened. Brock {you can see his baby toes if you look closely} was 6 months old and was an easy going baby propped in his carseat where he could keep an eye on Teagan and me as we went about ur activities each day. Teagan was outside playing this day and I had handed her a few cheese crackers to munch on for afternoon snack. This is a rare look at her- where she is looking at me, but without all the normal mischief in her eyes. She probably turned and snacked her crackers while dancing in the grass after this picture. But those blue eyes and blond curls and perfectly shaped tiny lips were something that melted me everyday I spent with her.
As I flipped through the photo album today, I realized I have never stopped missing everything about her- even all these years later. My heart drops when I let myself accept the reality all over again, that yes, she was here. Yes, she was mine. Yes, she still makes my heart melt at the sight of her.
Oh to love someone so much and have them suddenly gone without one more time to dance and hug and sing a silly song together is the cruel reality of grief and death. It is the part that I have had to wrestle with and wrap my mind around- even as my heart longs for a different reality. It is the part that makes a good day just not as good as it could be. It is the part of living that makes the bad days that much worse. It is the part of living that makes me wish it didn't exist, but the very part that makes me want to rise above and choose happiness as much as I can.
The truth is I am not as good at rising as I once was. Or as I maybe thought I was. Or maybe I am just not as high as I had hoped to be in life by this time. Maybe I just never realized how far the climb from the pit of grief really is, but no matter the reason, I find myself wishing the happiness came easier. I posted about my word of the year being "soar". When I looked at this picture of Teagan today it brought a smile to my face and I could almost picture a soft pair of wings where her little sleeves are at her side. I know that wherever she is, she soars. I know that she still makes my heart flip- that I got to love her and hold her and nourish her and teach her new things and delight in her learning and at the end of the day I felt her hugs and nose rubs and kisses on my face. She is forever a part of me and I know that even on the days I don't soar the way I wish I could, that I have years of rising under my belt and sometimes if all I can do is look back and see how far I've come, that's a part of soaring too. I never want to lose sight of the rising. I am glad I have pictures of a little angel to help me reach higher too.

I can't help but love it. Sometimes.

Friday I washed four loads of laundry. I don't have a laundry room, so my laundry baskets get brought up to the top of their stairs and this is the sight you would see if you rang my doorbell and I opened it up to say hello. My task on Saturday {while Chip hosted 80 people throughout the day out golfing on his new course!He has a job again. We are thankful.} was to fold and put this laundry away. I managed to get three of the four put away. As well as wash 3 more loads.
Between towels and bedding and just daily dirty clothes, there is literally never a time when I don't have piles of clean or dirty laundry sitting around somewhere at our house. It is one of those things that actually drives me crazy at the same time I love and appreciate it so much. I DO love clean, fresh folded laundry way moreso than piles of dirty stuff. But when I fold it and it piles up and I throw yet another load into my wash machine I find myself still thanking God that I get to be the mom to do this thankless job. I even pray for and am thankful for my kids and Chip who wear and dirty the clothes and towels and sheets. I think back so many times to the day I first did a load of laundry- it was several weeks after Teagan had died and I was "happy" to be getting back to doing a normal chore again. I had spent a few weeks with Wyndham and Chip in ICU, and even then when we came home from Hurley I was in a wheelchair and unable to go downstairs to do the laundry. So when that day finally came that I could do something so ordinary and something I had done over and over, I was unprepared at how different it was to wash, dry and fold clothes with Teagan's clothes not in the mix. It rocked my already grief-stricken world and I it is one of the "cries" and memories that has struck me so many times since then throughout the years. I was totally unprepared for the "missing" of her in something so routine. It made me realize how much I had taken for granted. It made me realize how much she was and always would be a part of my life. It made me realize how lucky I was to still have Chip, Brock and Wyndham and my physical abilities back to even try to resume our "normal" life once again.
My heart had ached at the loss of Teagan and all our bodies, hearts and minds were healing from. But I never knew doing laundry that day would change my persective on so many levels. I have been buried in laundry every year since then with the addition of more babies and with the growing that everyone has done through the years. But when I see baskets of laundry, on my very worst days, I still see something to give thanks for. I am ever grateful for the baskets that overflow. It reminds me of how many people I have to love and care for inmy home. It reminds me of how blessed we are to have so many things- clean water and soap to wash with, clothes to wear, closet space to put it all away- when I get around to doing that. I don't always love a lot of things in my life. But I am always trying to be better at even loving the parts that aren't always so lovable.
My word for this year is "soar". I want to soar and appreciate the stuff that is ever-present and not always so thrilling. To do so gives my heart and mind the push to be thankful for everything. Seeking to love the 'gifts' in life that we don't always think of as gifts is one of the ways I am choosing to look at life. I know I won't always have this many full baskets in my life. So that makes me even more thankful for them now. And that is the kind of thing that makes my heart soar...and makes the laundry less of a chore and turns it into a precious gift. I think it's why I enjoy stocking up on Tide as much as I do too. {Seriously, I usually keep at least 8 jugs on hand...partlt because I buy them on good sales. And also in part because it isn't surprising how much we go through it and I never want to run out!}Oh the joys of life when we just start breaking down the stuff we have and seeing it in new ways. I am not always good at it. But that's part of what makes life a good challenge too.
And now I want to know, is there something in life you can't help but love, even though most other people might think it's not all that great or fun? And what about a word for the year. Do you choose one? Feel free to share. I would love to know what you you are all focusing on for this year. xo

That's a wrap!

Good-bye to twenty-twelve. It has been a wild year for me and my family in so many ways. A year of things we never imagined, planned or expected all sprinkled with some amazing new {lifelong!} friendships, memories to cherish forever, and lessons lived and learned that could only have been learned through the events and people that wrapped themselves up in the form of 2012. It was the year we moved twice. Across several state lines. With 6 kids- including 3 in diapers at one point, and with stress levels that would make everyone's blood pressure spike.
But there were gourmet cupcakes. And bunches of fresh bananas and chocolate milk in the midst of the stress too. There was laughter and hugs and prayers and good wishes. There was a little groundhog outside our window that was busy and playful and provided entertainment as we ate breakfast, lunch and dinner at a table that my parents got us that 8 people can actually sit at all at one time. There were new songs to be sung, names and faces to learn, new library cards and books that led us on new adventures all their own.
From the pigeon longing to drive a bus to my kids standing at their own bus stop and climbing aboard to new schools and friends that would force them to grow and change and step outside their former comfort zones too. There was much to see, do and embrace~ and even re-doing things too. Like taking driver's test for our licenses. And reconnecting with 'old' friends. It was a year of ups and downs and twists and turns and never quite knowing what was going to be around the next turn.
But isn't that what life is made up of? If there is one thing I have learned in my 40 years of living, it is that no matter how much we plan and prepare and think we know what life is going to bring, it very likely will go its own way and look nothing like the picture you imagined it to look.
I scrapped a mini book about welcoming the new year, two-thousand and thirteen, with the fantastic kit from Cocoa Daisy for January. You can order a kit or sign up to subscribe and get it every month here, if you like. Jumping back into scrapbooking has been one of the highlights of my year and I am excited to be on the team this year too. Creating has been the one thing that has helped me process some of the crazier parts of this past year and also it is my launching place for the hopes and dreams I hold for this new year too. It does take up some of my time and energy and sometimes I wonder if it is the best use of them, but even Chip has noticed that scrapping fuels my inner joy and helps bring out the best in me, so he approves and is very supportive of my hobby and creative time. I am lucky that he allows me to let things slide around the house in order for me to fill my heart and express myself through paper and stickers and ink. I just loved the process of making this little book of quotes and words that I want to set the tone for me as 2013 rings in later on tonight. I am using the word "soar" as my focus word and hoping that I can find new ways to be invigorated and stay positive as we wait for a job for Chip and continue to resettle back here in our Michigan home. It has been a hard transition for me, much more than the kids. Leaving such close friends and all the newness of what life held has been hard. I feel like it was a big 'trick' to get such enough taste of what life can and does hold, but then got taken away from us all too quickly. It has felt like a huge step backward in life to return to the place we had said our goodbyes too and have to try to start again, only this time the house and yard were in rougher shape, my spirits were low, my optimism dashed, and a big piece of my heart was left in Minnesota.
Making a little book and surrendering to the many things I have told myself and learned over and over- things like create your own Joy and trust in the One who sees the big picture- is the place where I find solace and rest. It is the place where my spirit is still and I find that in the quietness and surrender is a fountain of hope. This past year has been so many different things to me and my family. This new year will likely be filled with suprises, blessings, more challenges and ultimately more opportunities to rise to the occasion, dig deeper and shine brighter when it's all said and done.
I am thankful for all of you who hope for good things to come, and who cheer me and my family on through the rough waters too. You are a blessing to us and I am still working on mailing some of you cards too. So from my heart to yours, thank you and best wishes as you wrap up 2012 and watch 2013 take flight. I hope it is a year of adventure and growth and seeing things from places you never dreamed you would find yourself~ be willing to be amazed at the view. No matter your vantage point. We're seeking to make two-thousand thirteen our year where the good outweighs the bad. That is always a good approach to anything...especially a new year!