I had no idea...

I missed posting yesterday for Father's Day, but did joke to Chip at one point that one of his 'gifts' from me was that I kept the computer turned off the whole day. My mom joked that she gave my dad the same 'gift'. {You'd laugh if you knew her...because she really is 'scared' to turn computers on...therein lies the joke. =)}

I did have all sorts of thoughts and stories to share, but I held back and enjoyed the day with Chip, our kids and entertaining friends in our home last evening. It was a great day. In the end, I didn't even miss the computer- that much. =)

I plan on taking more than one day to share my stories in regards to dads and Father's Day...maybe even doing a week of thoughts on the subject. I'll start with my first thoughts, which is what the title here suggests. Truly, I had no idea when I met and started dating Chip just what an amazing Dad he would be later on in our lives. If you knew me back then,you'd know it was one of the last things on my mind at that point in time, especially since I had decided I never wanted to have kids. I didn't even try to think about what characteristics and strengths Chip had that would translate well into fatherhood and parenting, because the truth is I didn't think it would ever be a concern of ours.

Now, flash forward 5 kids and several years later, and I see just how big of a deal it was and IS in our lives. I had no idea that we would have a big family, and I can't express how grateful I am that Chip has some of the best qualities that I would look for in a dad....I am really lucky in that regard...and my kids are too.

That last picture is one I snapped of Teagan and Chip on the 4th of July just a few weeks before her death. She was a Daddy's girl through and through. The way she has her arm wrapped around his neck is the way I think of her and this photo captured the security and love she felt from the very first moment she burst on the scene of our lives. She stole his heart from her first breath and cries...and her beauty, even as a newborn was striking to both of us. I know it's what all new parents say about their babies, but Teagan really was a beautiful newborn. Her skin and facial features were so perfect, that I remember Chip saying over and over as he held her, "She's so beautiful!" I wrote in her baby book that daddy said, "You are a knock-out Teagan...when you grow up the boys are gonna be falling all over you."

He was smitten, and the love that he poured out to Teagan just melted my heart. I had no idea that I was gonna fall in love with Chip more, simply because of the love I saw him express to his little girl. As Teagan grew, there were so many times I would catch myself just watching them interact together....they had something special. I was blown away at how he could calm her down during late night crying sessions...he would dance her around the room slowly, singing songs from Les Miserables. He's not a singer (his sisters got that gift in their family!), but it didn't matter- with Teagan it just happened. It's as though he couldn't help himself...she made him sing...and it was touching to see it and hear it. I loved seeing how much Teagan loved and adored Chip right back. She had a way of making his face light up after a long, hard day at work...a way that was different from anything I ever could do. He had lots of one-on-one time with Teagan, as she was the first born, and I worked lots of evenings when she was young. They had little games and special pop-pop moments, and once I left them at the beach together as I headed off to wait tables. As I turned back, I watched Chip hoist Teagan up onto his shoulders, and I stood there in tears as they walked off for some fun at the ocean. I was overwhelmed at the bond they shared and the way that hearts were connected. I couldn't have asked for better dad, and my heart filled with gratefulness as I watched this bond grow.

I had no idea it would grow and develop with each passing year and with the addition of each new baby into our lives. I realize now, and am absolutely grateful for the kind of dad that Chip is to our kids every single day. As any parent knows, kids change your lives and bring a new dimension to life as well as heartaches and challenges. It's true. But, the fact remains, our kids have changed us for the better in more ways than I can count. I thank God that Chip turned out to be not only my best friend and husband to me...but that he has so many amazing attributes and characteristics that I would hand-pick in a dad. I had no idea just how much I would need them later on in life. I'm grateful that he has surpassed my expectations...and I know my kids thank him too. From the bottom of all our hearts. And shining down from Heaven too!